Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 months ago
#1
Hey y’all
So yeah I’m one of those few that don’t have Instagram and have been wanting to make one but I’m facing some issues

1. I’m bi but not all my friends know. Half of them do and half of them don’t know and the reason why those don’t know is because they won’t take it well so I didn’t tell them. So the solution for this would be to either not make my sexuality known on ig or not add these ppl but I do wanna add them cause they’re my friends anyway. I am planning to tell them about my sexuality at some point but I wouldn’t want them to find out by an ig post or story and be shocked.

2. I was planning to follow the people I have close to me. Like people I text or hang out with instead of following a bunch of people I know but that I know won’t really actually genuinely care about me or what I post.
So the people that are close to me are basically people I met in my young adulthood. There is only one person I’m still friends with from school. I also wasn’t very popular at school but also the type of person who would talk to everyone but not hang out.
Now to bring the spicy stuff, there’s this girl I fell for in high school. She helped me realize I’m bi but she was taken so I didn’t really actually tell her how I feel. I kinda hoped that by getting an Instagram I’d have a way to connect with her. I don’t mean that in the sense that I necessarily wanna start chatting and flirting and getting with her but more in the sense that’s I’d like for her to have a window to my life and the opportunity to contact me in case she wants to be friends. Yes I would really like to talk to her and be friends even if it doesn’t mean anything more than that would happen. And hey if anything more would happen then good for us. But the thing is, it would be weird to just follow her and not follow anyone else from school. If I want to keep the idea that I’ll follow my close friends who Ik would care for me and what I post unlike people from high school who I did talk to but we aren’t that close for them to care then it would mean that I won’t follow people from high school but then it’d make it really tricky to follow my high school crush. It would be super weird if she sees I only followed her and not anyone else from school.
So what do I do? Do I stick to the fact that I wanna have the close friends on ig and then not follow her even though I really want to? Or do I dismiss that idea and just follow people from high school too and then her as well? Of course with the latter I wouldn’t feel as comfortable posting on ig as I would if I only had my closed friends.

3. My username. So as I said I ideally would like to have my close friends on ig which means I wouldn’t be a fan of the whole world seeing what I post. Including relatives. I basically wouldn’t like any of my relatives to know I have ig. You know how it is, who wants their relatives on social media?
So if my username is my name, because it is a unique name I fear I’d be easily spotted.
On the other hand I thought of making my username something symbolic like the title of my favorite song or movie for example but then if I follow people from high school it’d be kinda cringey. Also they wouldn’t know it’s me until I actually post my face and they wouldn’t follow me back if they don’t know who I am.
So on the one hand I’d gladly have something symbolic as my username but not everyone will know it’s me and follow me back. On the other hand I’d like to have my name as username but don’t want to be easily found by relatives

Any suggestions guys??
0
reply
hayzc
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#2
Report 5 months ago
#2
Hi! I'll just go through the list one by one.

1. You seem to want to add them since they are indeed your friends, and insta is a great way to connect and keep in touch with people! You can always just keep your sexuality private, since it is ultimately your choice of whether you want people to know (or you can always post something about it on your insta, and if they are mean to you, then they wouldn't exactly seem to be your friends). Whatever your choice is, it is your call, and it needs to be something you are comfortable with. There is always a close friends list if you really need it, you would just have to be careful about who you put on that list.

2. Again, it would be your account; some people have a spam account where they keep their close friends, and for their main account, they add everyone (including people they may not be particularly close to), so that might be an option! Do you have anyone at all from high school you are relatively comfortable with other than the girl you fell for? Maybe add 1-2, but it really seems like you want to be able to keep in touch with this girl you've mentioned. Honestly, just add her even if you don't go through with adding people from high school on your account. She seems really important to you. Don't sacrifice that by worrying too much about what she might think.

3. Even if relatives find you, you can set your account to private, and just... not accept their follow request so that they can't see what you post. If they pressure you about it, you would need to set boundaries, and politely tell them that it is your life, and you don't feel comfortable (though I do understand that this might not be realistic or feasible at times). You can always change your username as well, or message the people that you've followed (just a little "Hi! Idk if you remember me, but I'm so-and-so, how are you?" works)

Good luck on everything, I hope it'll work out!
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 5 months ago
#3
Hey! Thank you this was really helpful!

1. Oh I didn’t know there’s the option of the close friends list. I’m assuming it’s something like ‘this post can only be seen by close friends’?

2. A spam accoun? How does that work? Is it a completely different account? Or is it like a sub account on the main account?

I do have a friend from high school but she wasn’t close with my crush. I don’t know I feel like I should add the people my crush was friends with so it doesn’t seem weird.
Yeah she does seem important to me which is why I don’t wanna seem weird to her. She is important to me but I’m not as important to her.. she might have forgotten about me for all we know so if I remind her by following her on Instagram I totally don’t wanna give the weird vibe. She would be able to see if we have any mutually from school and if I don’t add anyone else from school and just her it’s be totally weird because I wasn’t really close to her in the first place. Yes I said she was my crush but we never hang out because she was taken and also we didn’t have friends in common so everyone was hanging out with their little groups. Which is why it’d seem weird only adding her.

Is there a limit on changing your username?
0
reply
BitteRabbit
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#4
Report 5 months ago
#4
1. Yep, you basically choose the people that are your closest friends and add them to a list! Then you can limit the people who sees your stories to just that list.

2. A spam account is a separate account that you can just post whatever on at any time <3 most people use them so that the main account that everyone else sees is kept tidy and organised to look nice

There's also no limit on changing your username, though you can't have a username that's already been taken
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 5 months ago
#5
Awesome! Thanks!

1. Would these people know they’ve been added to my list?

2. How does the spam account work though? Is it separate in the sense that I create another account/profile with a different username?
0
reply
BitteRabbit
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#6
Report 5 months ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Awesome! Thanks!

1. Would these people know they’ve been added to my list?

2. How does the spam account work though? Is it separate in the sense that I create another account/profile with a different username?
Whoops sorry for the late reply!

1. They won't be notified that you've added them to the list but they'll probably eventually find out when they see that they can view your 'close friends only' stories.

2. Yeah, the spam account is a completely separate account. For me, my spam account is just a dump of weird posts so I'm selective about who can follow me on that account. Tbh, spam accounts are not really that useful unless you want your main page to be a bit more focused and impersonal so that you can show people that you might not necessarily be the closest of friends with.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 5 months ago
#7
So then those stories would have a caption saying ‘closed friends only’? If not how would they figure out?
0
reply
BitteRabbit
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#8
Report 5 months ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
So then those stories would have a caption saying ‘closed friends only’? If not how would they figure out?
Stories are temporary clips or photos that appear at the top of your feed. Close friend stories will have a green circle around them whilst normal stories will have a purple circle around them!

Currently, there’s no way to limit who can see your main posts unless you are a private account and only let the people you are close with follow you ~
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Current uni students - are you thinking of dropping out of university?

Yes, I'm seriously considering dropping out (51)
16.67%
I'm not sure (8)
2.61%
No, I'm going to stick it out for now (105)
34.31%
I have already dropped out (4)
1.31%
I'm not a current university student (138)
45.1%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed