I just got diagnosed with BPD AMA

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FutureMissMRCS
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After not knowing what is wrong with me for the last 2 years, I finally got diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder), so AMA.
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CoolCavy
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:five:

How do you feel about the diagnosis? I know personally i wasnt thrilled because of the stigma but equally it felt nice to have an explanation of what was wrong
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FutureMissMRCS
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(Original post by CoolCavy)
:five:

How do you feel about the diagnosis? I know personally i wasnt thrilled because of the stigma but equally it felt nice to have an explanation of what was wrong
I did think that I have it for the last year and this just confirmed that. So feel reliefed. Previously my GP just tried to tell me that I have anxiety and depression and was not listening to me. I feel like the psychiatrist listened to me and he let me decide what medication I want. A bit worried about starting medication. I think I can finally get the right help . I feel sad about the stigma associated with BPD-people just think we're manipulative and people say to stay away from those with BPD.
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CoolCavy
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(Original post by FutureMissMRCS)
I did think that I have it for the last year and this just confirmed that. So feel reliefed. Previously my GP just tried to tell me that I have anxiety and depression and was not listening to me. I feel like the psychiatrist listened to me and he let me decide what medication I want. A bit worried about starting medication. I think I can finally get the right help . I feel sad about the stigma associated with BPD-people just think we're manipulative and people say to stay away from those with BPD.
Can understand that, i was given a sort of interim diagnosis of depression and anxiety (so i was able to offer disabled students support at the uni whilst i was on the waitlist to see a psych) and it never really felt right or like it encapsulated what i was feeling.
In terms of medication what in particular are you apprehensive about? I personally find anti-psychotics to be more effective at managing my mood than antidepressants but it depends on the person. Generally though therapy is a better treatment for BPD than medication as bpd is behavioral not chemical so there is only so much of an impact meds can have.
Yeh it's really ridiculous, never look on the sub-reddit r/bpdloved ones :rolleyes: basically people decide that someone they hated or abused them has bpd and then apply their vitriolic stereotype to all of us.
I would try to get on a DBT waitlist as soon as possible if you are interested in therapy, the waitlists can be really long :hugs:
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FutureMissMRCS
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(Original post by CoolCavy)
Can understand that, i was given a sort of interim diagnosis of depression and anxiety (so i was able to offer disabled students support at the uni whilst i was on the waitlist to see a psych) and it never really felt right or like it encapsulated what i was feeling.
In terms of medication what in particular are you apprehensive about? I personally find anti-psychotics to be more effective at managing my mood than antidepressants but it depends on the person. Generally though therapy is a better treatment for BPD than medication as bpd is behavioral not chemical so there is only so much of an impact meds can have.
Yeh it's really ridiculous, never look on the sub-reddit r/bpdloved ones :rolleyes: basically people decide that someone they hated or abused them has bpd and then apply their vitriolic stereotype to all of us.
I would try to get on a DBT waitlist as soon as possible if you are interested in therapy, the waitlists can be really long :hugs:
The psychiatrist also said I have a depeessive syndrome because I have an extensive family history of depression. I don't think I'll have kids because they are very likely to be mentally ill with my genetics. Before I didn't have a diagnosis and my university wouldn't give me study support but now that I have it, for 2nd year I'll probably get a lot of support. I'm going to be on Venlafaxine. I was put on sertraline before but only lasted 2 days because I couldn't deal with the side effects I was getting and my GP accused me of not being cooperative when it wasn't my fault my side effects were too severe. Then they tried to give me quetiapine but I wouldn't take it because I didn't want to put on weight because it would trigger my eating problem. I was meant to be getting therapy but because I was referred to secondary care they weren't allowed to help me. The psychiatrist is going to refer me to some place that deals with personality disorders and I need to contact this place about self harm. I'm hoping the personality disorder place has DBT. It didn't really take me long to see the psychiatrist because they had to fast track my referal quite a bit but it took a very long time for the GP to write a referral, I asked in September but they didn't write a referral till February or March.My referral was flagged up because my situation became quite worrying and then the MH specialist enabled my referral to be accepted about 2 days after he got in touch with secondary care. Then I contacted my local team and my situation was getting worse and I got to see the psychiatrist one month earlier than I was meant to. Have you ever faced discrimination or stigma in real life because of your BPD? Do you tell your friends and family about your BPD?
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Do you have close friends? Or anyone youve told about it?
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FutureMissMRCS
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Do you have close friends? Or anyone youve told about it?
I have some friends. Only one of my friends knows about me having BPD. My other friends know I have mental health problems but haven't told them it's BPD. I told my Mum but she doesn't really care. My sister knows about it and she supports me. But it's not something I tell people. Most people do not know what it is or stigmatise it.
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Anonymous #2
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I have BPD too but am at a loss with what it actually entails. Please fill me in.
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Obolinda
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wat was the last thing you ate
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FutureMissMRCS
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(Original post by Obolinda)
wat was the last thing you ate
Pasta with vegan mince and a vanilla Alpro soya dessert pot.
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CoolCavy
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(Original post by FutureMissMRCS)
The psychiatrist also said I have a depeessive syndrome because I have an extensive family history of depression. I don't think I'll have kids because they are very likely to be mentally ill with my genetics. Before I didn't have a diagnosis and my university wouldn't give me study support but now that I have it, for 2nd year I'll probably get a lot of support. I'm going to be on Venlafaxine. I was put on sertraline before but only lasted 2 days because I couldn't deal with the side effects I was getting and my GP accused me of not being cooperative when it wasn't my fault my side effects were too severe. Then they tried to give me quetiapine but I wouldn't take it because I didn't want to put on weight because it would trigger my eating problem. I was meant to be getting therapy but because I was referred to secondary care they weren't allowed to help me. The psychiatrist is going to refer me to some place that deals with personality disorders and I need to contact this place about self harm. I'm hoping the personality disorder place has DBT. It didn't really take me long to see the psychiatrist because they had to fast track my referal quite a bit but it took a very long time for the GP to write a referral, I asked in September but they didn't write a referral till February or March.My referral was flagged up because my situation became quite worrying and then the MH specialist enabled my referral to be accepted about 2 days after he got in touch with secondary care. Then I contacted my local team and my situation was getting worse and I got to see the psychiatrist one month earlier than I was meant to. Have you ever faced discrimination or stigma in real life because of your BPD? Do you tell your friends and family about your BPD?
Ah that makes sense :hugs: glad to hear you can finally get some support a DSA mentor might be good to inquire about, i found mine really useful.
That's understandable, am on quetiapine and it does make you really hungry, hopefully the referal goes well :hugs: DBT isnt life changing in my experience but it does help you cope a bit with the symptoms.
Not really but that is mainly because i have told few people directly, people may suspect but that's up to them. I feel like it is similar to disclosing being gay, if it's not relevant to the situation i dont mention either. I made the decision to tell my parent and at first they didnt quite get it but over time i've filled them in and now they have a better awareness

(Original post by Anonymous)
I have BPD too but am at a loss with what it actually entails. Please fill me in.
You need to talk to whoever diagnosed you if you dont know what it entails then you cant know if it is the correct diagnosis. Medical professionals arent infallible so if you research it (there are plenty of resources online that can be googled in a second) and dont feel it fits with you then you need to raise that. Whoever diagnosed you should have given you a run down of the symptoms at the time.
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glassalice
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(Original post by FutureMissMRCS)
After not knowing what is wrong with me for the last 2 years, I finally got diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder), so AMA.
Are you a 'quiet borderline' or do you struggle with behaviours/ impulsivty ?
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FutureMissMRCS
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have BPD too but am at a loss with what it actually entails. Please fill me in.
There are 9 symptoms of BPD and you need to have at least 5 of the symptoms:

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5.
2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealisation and devaluation.
3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (for example, spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5.
5. Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.
6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (for example, intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (for example, frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.


I meet all the criteria I would say except for number 8, I don't get particularly angry-well not scary angry at least. Also not number 4- I would say I only have one impulsive behaviour that is harmful towards me but not sure if it qualifies. But I meet 7 of the criteria I would say. I would recommend speaking with your psychiatrist about your BPD. BPD presents very differently in different people due to the different combinations of symptoms people can have. Some people present more 'classically' than others. A lot of people with BPD end up misdiagnosed with bipolar, PTSD, depression etc. It can be quite tricky getting diagnosed with BPD, since GPs are not always very knowledgeable on it and won't recognise signs that you could potentially have it and you end up getting dismissed. But you have to be persistant, I saw 3 different GPs.
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glassalice
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(Original post by FutureMissMRCS)
I don't think I'll have kids because they are very likely to be mentally ill with my genetics.
That's a really difficult decision to make for me as well 🤔.
Personally I believe that life is the most precious thing we have. It's a gift.
However, do I want to deny a potential life from coming to be?
Equally, is it selfish of me to bring in to this world some who is more likely than others to experience great pain?
We have to decide indervidualy, otherwise it's called eugenics.
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FutureMissMRCS
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(Original post by CoolCavy)
Ah that makes sense :hugs: glad to hear you can finally get some support a DSA mentor might be good to inquire about, i found mine really useful.
That's understandable, am on quetiapine and it does make you really hungry, hopefully the referal goes well :hugs: DBT isnt life changing in my experience but it does help you cope a bit with the symptoms.
Not really but that is mainly because i have told few people directly, people may suspect but that's up to them. I feel like it is similar to disclosing being gay, if it's not relevant to the situation i dont mention either. I made the decision to tell my parent and at first they didnt quite get it but over time i've filled them in and now they have a better awareness
I'll enquire hopefully with my uni in September regarding what sort of support I can get with my studies. I did manage to do quite well in first year regardless of my BPD but it would have made things a bit easier on me if I did have that support plan in place. Have you ever asked to have your medication switched? Do you still take the sertraline? Does your psychiatrist discuss medication with you and gives you options about which medications you want to take? Or was there no discussion in place? I don't think I'll ever disclose to someone that I have BPD except for that one friend I know because I don't see that being beneficial to me. Has the DBT helped with the self harm a lot or not really? Have you heard of MBT?
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SweetSexySavage
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Whats your fave hobby
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FutureMissMRCS
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(Original post by glassalice)
Are you a 'quiet borderline' or do you struggle with behaviours/ impulsivty ?
I would say I'm more on the quieter side. I don't display the risky behaviours except for self-harm and disordered eating. I don't have explosive anger. But struggle with impulsion regarding the 2 things I mentioned above. I internalise most of my struggles but can have quite severe mental breakdowns when I reach crisis point. What about you? But then I still struggle with my relationships with people with the whole abandonment issues and then I act in ways I'm not proud of because of it.
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FutureMissMRCS
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(Original post by glassalice)
That's a really difficult decision to make for me as well 🤔.
Personally I believe that life is the most precious thing we have. It's a gift.
However, do I want to deny a potential life from coming to be?
Equally, is it selfish of me to bring in to this world some who is more likely than others to experience great pain?
We have to decide indervidual, otherwise it's called eugenics.
I just don't think I could put anyone through the things I go through. I feel like it would be selfish of me to do that to someone- I don't want them to have a low quality of life. I would feel really guilty and responsible if they were to endure that. I also sometimes think this disorder would hinder my ability to parent. But that's just my opinion. It's a hard decision to make. There's always adoption I guess.
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FutureMissMRCS
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(Original post by SweetSexySavage)
Whats your fave hobby
That changes a lot. Did recently enjoy watching the medical drama: house MD, I wasn't very well and sitting up in bed watching it was the most I could manage with my days. Used to quite enjoy reading science journals. I used to go on walks a lot. I enjoyed seeing my friends and doing fun things with them.
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glassalice
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(Original post by FutureMissMRCS)
I would say I'm more on the quieter side. I don't display the risky behaviours except for self-harm and disordered eating. I don't have explosive anger. But struggle with impulsion regarding the 2 things I mentioned above. I internalise most of my struggles but can have quite severe mental breakdowns when I reach crisis point. What about you? But then I still struggle with my relationships with people with the whole abandonment issues and then I act in ways I'm not proud of because of it.
I tend to become very angry with others when I feel like they are trying to control me. Then I become massively angry with myself for being angry as I feel ashamed of BPD.
Ironically in most situations I am an extremely calm person.
In regards to strange eating habits/ restriction, I've been doing that since age 12. Sadly I don't think I've met anyone with BPD who doesn't have body image /food issues. @CoolCavy have you met anyone who doesn't?
I am generally a (self imposed, with much difficulty) interliser, however when things do go wrong they tend to go really really wrong.
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