I just got diagnosed with BPD AMA

Watch
FutureMissMRCS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#21
Report Thread starter 2 months ago
#21
(Original post by glassalice)
I tend to become very angry with others when I feel like they are trying to control me. Then I become massively angry with myself for being angry as I feel ashamed of BPD.
Ironically in most situations I am an extremely calm person.
In regards to strange eating habits/ restriction, I've been doing that since age 12. Sadly I don't think I've met anyone with BPD who doesn't have body image /food issues. @CoolCavy have you met anyone who doesn't?
I am generally a (self imposed, with much difficulty) interliser, however when things do go wrong they tend to go really really wrong.
I get angry if I think someone is trying to abandon me or I feel like they're turning against me- but not explosive angry, more like me crying and begging them not to leave me and then using my unhealthy coping mechanism to deal with the emotional trauma. Or if I feel like they're turning against me- as in I split on them I feel internal anger and start to think someone is completely bad and will refuse to acknowledge their existence and I'll completely ignore them.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#22
Report 4 weeks ago
#22
(Original post by FutureMissMRCS)
After not knowing what is wrong with me for the last 2 years, I finally got diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder), so AMA.
Hi, I’ve had mental health problems for around 6/7 years now which initially seemed like social anxiety and disordered eating. As I’ve got older (I’m now 21) I’ve tended to get more low in mood, have lots of intrusive thoughts and self harm a lot. My mental health problems get worse when I am stressed and can seem to others that I’m just over emotional but kind of rational based on the situation. Personally even if my mental health is brought on by exam stress for example, how extreme my reaction becomes does not seem normal. Often doctors etc have said oh you aren’t ill it’s probably just exam stress when I’m self harming daily and feel out of it most of the time. My mood changes quite a lot as well and can go from happy to very low and the other way in a matter of hours. I also find it hard to know who I am as my life goals change so frequently.

I went to the GP and they diagnosed me with low mood and prescribed antidepressants to help. Realistically I think something more is going on than depression or low mood as it is so persistent and from what I’ve seen online I match bpd and a couple of other personality disorders quite a lot.

I am aware of the stigma against PDs and have been told that a diagnosis is often less helpful to have than not but after so many years struggling I want to know what it is. I don’t think it’d be sensible to say to a GP that I think I could have bpd or another personality disorder as they would probably think I’m being dramatic.
0
reply
FutureMissMRCS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#23
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#23
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, I’ve had mental health problems for around 6/7 years now which initially seemed like social anxiety and disordered eating. As I’ve got older (I’m now 21) I’ve tended to get more low in mood, have lots of intrusive thoughts and self harm a lot. My mental health problems get worse when I am stressed and can seem to others that I’m just over emotional but kind of rational based on the situation. Personally even if my mental health is brought on by exam stress for example, how extreme my reaction becomes does not seem normal. Often doctors etc have said oh you aren’t ill it’s probably just exam stress when I’m self harming daily and feel out of it most of the time. My mood changes quite a lot as well and can go from happy to very low and the other way in a matter of hours. I also find it hard to know who I am as my life goals change so frequently.

I went to the GP and they diagnosed me with low mood and prescribed antidepressants to help. Realistically I think something more is going on than depression or low mood as it is so persistent and from what I’ve seen online I match bpd and a couple of other personality disorders quite a lot.

I am aware of the stigma against PDs and have been told that a diagnosis is often less helpful to have than not but after so many years struggling I want to know what it is. I don’t think it’d be sensible to say to a GP that I think I could have bpd or another personality disorder as they would probably think I’m being dramatic.
The only way you can get diagnosed with BPD is by the psychiatrist, so your GP needs to refer you to the psychiatrist. I would recommend seeing another GP. I really hope you're going to get help for your self harm , it's difficult to overcome. If you do get the diagnosis you can get referred to specialist therapy such as DBT or MBT, so in my opinion getting the diagnosis helps you get the right treatment, since BPD is best treated through specialist therapy rather than medication. Seeing the psychiatrist also helped me get on the right medication, I take an antidepressant and a mood stabilliser. My GP did also try to dismiss me by saying I have anxiety and depression, so please don't give up and get the right help, I understand how difficult it is. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk about this more.
2
reply
glassalice
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#24
Report 4 weeks ago
#24
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, I’ve had mental health problems for around 6/7 years now which initially seemed like social anxiety and disordered eating. As I’ve got older (I’m now 21) I’ve tended to get more low in mood, have lots of intrusive thoughts and self harm a lot. My mental health problems get worse when I am stressed and can seem to others that I’m just over emotional but kind of rational based on the situation. Personally even if my mental health is brought on by exam stress for example, how extreme my reaction becomes does not seem normal. Often doctors etc have said oh you aren’t ill it’s probably just exam stress when I’m self harming daily and feel out of it most of the time. My mood changes quite a lot as well and can go from happy to very low and the other way in a matter of hours. I also find it hard to know who I am as my life goals change so frequently.

I went to the GP and they diagnosed me with low mood and prescribed antidepressants to help. Realistically I think something more is going on than depression or low mood as it is so persistent and from what I’ve seen online I match bpd and a couple of other personality disorders quite a lot.

I am aware of the stigma against PDs and have been told that a diagnosis is often less helpful to have than not but after so many years struggling I want to know what it is. I don’t think it’d be sensible to say to a GP that I think I could have bpd or another personality disorder as they would probably think I’m being dramatic.
Sorry for butting in...
Don't get me started on BPD and stigma

It's quite likely that the doctors that you have seen suspect that you BPD, the comments that they have especially makes me think this. Some doctors will advoid dx people unless absolutely necessary, because they know stigmatising it. Also, you are still quite young, until age 24 any diagnosis of PD has a degree of uncertainty attached.
Also by 'doctors' I assume you mean a GP and not a psychiatrist?
If your GP suspects BPD, they are actually meant to refer the case to a psychiatrist for evaluation/ diagnosis. This is because most GP's have very little expertise in this area.

The symptoms you say you experience all pretty much hit the symptoms of BPD, almost exactly. It's obvious you have been doing research, sometimes (this happens with physical health as well) a person becomes so convinced that they have a certain condition that they interpret everything as a symptom and their mind begins to actually induces symptoms. So maybe fresh perspective could be useful.

The funny thing is GP's tend to be OK, the people that are really judgmental and horrible (to me at least) over having a PD are the actual psychiatric professionals.

Assuming you are female, do you have period problems?

One last thought, some of these symptoms could be the either the result of or exacerbated by taking the antidepressant. Also Ad's have been linked to increased selfharm.

Waiting times are to access therapy can be very very long, maybe 6 months if your lucky. Medication (not just in my opinion) cause significant iatrogenic harm (both mental and physical) AND isn't proven to be effective in BPD. In other words don't accept it (or at least) until they agree to put you on a waiting list for therapy.
Last edited by glassalice; 4 weeks ago
2
reply
FutureMissMRCS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#25
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#25
(Original post by glassalice)
Sorry for butting in...
Don't get me started on BPD and stigma

It's quite likely that the doctors that you have seen suspect that you BPD, the comments that they have especially makes me think this. Some doctors will advoid dx people unless absolutely necessary, because they know stigmatising it. Also, you are still quite young, until age 24 any diagnoses of PD has a degree of uncertainty attached.
Also by 'doctors' I assume you mean a GP and not a psychiatrist?
If your GP suspects BPD, they are actually meant to refer the case to a psychiatrist for evaluation/ diagnosis. This is because most GP's have very little expertise in this area.

The symptoms you say you experience all pretty much hit the symptoms of BPD, almost exactly. It's obvious you have been doing research, sometimes (this happens with physical health as well) a person becomes so convinced that they have a certain condition that they interpret everything as a symptom and their mind begins to actually induces symptoms. So maybe fresh perspective could be useful.

The funny thing is GP's tend to be OK, the people that are really judgmental and horrible (to me at least) over having a PD are the actual psychiatric professionals.

Assuming you are female, do you have period problems?

One last thought, some of these symptoms could be the either the result of or exacerbated by taking the antidepressant. Also they have been linked to increased selfharm.

Waiting times are to access therapy can be very very long, maybe 6 months if your lucky. Medication (not just in my opinion) cause significant iatrogenic harm (both mental and physical) AND isn't proven to be effective in BPD. In other words don't accept it (or at least) until they agree to put you on a waiting list for therapy.
I disagree, my psychiatrist is nice to me about my BPD. I have been horribly mistreated by GPs because of my mental health problems, dismissed and ignored. My medication helps me, so I don't appreciate you making negative comments about medication being bad as an overall. My mood stabilliser helps me a lot.
0
reply
Anonymous #4
#26
Report 4 weeks ago
#26
(Original post by FutureMissMRCS)
I disagree, my psychiatrist is nice to me about my BPD. I have been horribly mistreated by GPs because of my mental health problems, dismissed and ignored. My medication helps me, so I don't appreciate you making negative comments about medication being bad as an overall. My mood stabilliser helps me a lot.
Glassalice is talking about general things. It's not going to apply to everyone and every case - But as a whole.

BPD (as far as I'm aware) isn't biological. Therefore, by definition, medication will only have a limited impact on managing symptoms.
A lot of people with BPD struggle to find an effective medication to help them manage with things.

Again, not specific to everyone - of course there will be people with BPD who have good experiences with medication.
2
reply
FutureMissMRCS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#27
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
Glassalice is talking about general things. It's not going to apply to everyone and every case - But as a whole.

BPD (as far as I'm aware) isn't biological. Therefore, by definition, medication will only have a limited impact on managing symptoms.
A lot of people with BPD struggle to find an effective medication to help them manage with things.

Again, not specific to everyone - of course there will be people with BPD who have good experiences with medication.
BPD does have a heridatory aspect, it's not 100% environmental, please do your research. If you do look at neuroimaging studies, there are structural, functional and neurochemical differences in the brains of people with BPD.
1
reply
glassalice
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#28
Report 4 weeks ago
#28
(Original post by FutureMissMRCS)
I disagree, my psychiatrist is nice to me about my BPD. I have been horribly mistreated by GPs because of my mental health problems, dismissed and ignored. My medication helps me, so I don't appreciate you making negative comments about medication being bad as an overall. My mood stabilliser helps me a lot.
Sorry for any offense caused.
However I don't retract anything I said, especially my comments on how the antidepressant could be inducing these symptoms and how there are is very little evidence that suggests medication is effective in treating BPD.
I have an an anology, 'medication for BPD is like treating a broken leg with Ibuprofen'.
0
reply
Thisismyunitsr
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#29
Report 4 weeks ago
#29
What are you studying and what are your ambitions?
0
reply
Anonymous #4
#30
Report 4 weeks ago
#30
(Original post by FutureMissMRCS)
BPD does have a heridatory aspect, it's not 100% environmental, please do your research. If you do look at neuroimaging studies, there are structural, functional and neurochemical differences in the brains of people with BPD.
There's no actual evidence it has a hereditary aspect. No studies have isolated "nature" from "nurture".
If you have a parent with BPD, you could very well have "learnt" BPD from them.
0
reply
FutureMissMRCS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#31
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#31
(Original post by glassalice)
Sorry for any offense caused.
However I don't retract anything I said, especially my comments on how the antidepressant could be inducing these symptoms and how there are is very little evidence that suggests medication is effective in treating BPD.
I have an an anology, 'medication for BPD is like treating a broken leg with Ibuprofen'.
I know it doesn't solve the problem and is like your anology, but it does help to an extent. It makes things slightly easier and I'm not having 2 breakdowns per day going hysterical. It reduces some of the symptoms for me a little bit. Think mood stabiliser helps the most. The antidepressant doesn't really do that much for me. I wasn't on medication before I got diagnosed, so no medication induced my symptoms that led to my diagnosis.
0
reply
FutureMissMRCS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#32
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#32
(Original post by Anonymous)
There's no actual evidence it has a hereditary aspect. No studies have isolated "nature" from "nurture".
If you have a parent with BPD, you could very well have "learnt" BPD from them.
No, I'm talking about studies looking at BPD in twins not parent vs child.
0
reply
FutureMissMRCS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#33
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#33
(Original post by Thisismyunitsr)
What are you studying and what are your ambitions?
Neuroscience and I'm hoping to go to medical school after and be a doctor.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#34
Report 4 weeks ago
#34
(Original post by glassalice)
Sorry for butting in...
Don't get me started on BPD and stigma

It's quite likely that the doctors that you have seen suspect that you BPD, the comments that they have especially makes me think this. Some doctors will advoid dx people unless absolutely necessary, because they know stigmatising it. Also, you are still quite young, until age 24 any diagnosis of PD has a degree of uncertainty attached.
Also by 'doctors' I assume you mean a GP and not a psychiatrist?
If your GP suspects BPD, they are actually meant to refer the case to a psychiatrist for evaluation/ diagnosis. This is because most GP's have very little expertise in this area.

The symptoms you say you experience all pretty much hit the symptoms of BPD, almost exactly. It's obvious you have been doing research, sometimes (this happens with physical health as well) a person becomes so convinced that they have a certain condition that they interpret everything as a symptom and their mind begins to actually induces symptoms. So maybe fresh perspective could be useful.

The funny thing is GP's tend to be OK, the people that are really judgmental and horrible (to me at least) over having a PD are the actual psychiatric professionals.

Assuming you are female, do you have period problems?

One last thought, some of these symptoms could be the either the result of or exacerbated by taking the antidepressant. Also Ad's have been linked to increased selfharm.

Waiting times are to access therapy can be very very long, maybe 6 months if your lucky. Medication (not just in my opinion) cause significant iatrogenic harm (both mental and physical) AND isn't proven to be effective in BPD. In other words don't accept it (or at least) until they agree to put you on a waiting list for therapy.
Yeah by doctors I mean GPs and also some counsellors from university.

I do have period problems but it’s mainly just when I’m stressed I have more periods, like once every two weeks instead of every 4. Also the medication I’m currently on is giving me bleeding most of the time.

In regards to the medication causing my symptoms to get worse, I’ve only been on it for 3 weeks and my self harm etc hasn’t got worse, it’s not really better but it’s definitely not worse.

I am quite capable of pushing on and dealing with it and going through fairly stable periods but then when I am stressed, for any reason, it all comes crashing down. I don’t know whether to go to a new GP and tell them my concerns or ask for a referral to a psychiatrist or to just push on because chances are in a few weeks I won’t be fine on the inside but on the outside I’ll appear completely fine.
0
reply
glassalice
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#35
Report 4 weeks ago
#35
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah by doctors I mean GPs and also some counsellors from university.

I do have period problems but it’s mainly just when I’m stressed I have more periods, like once every two weeks instead of every 4. Also the medication I’m currently on is giving me bleeding most of the time.

In regards to the medication causing my symptoms to get worse, I’ve only been on it for 3 weeks and my self harm etc hasn’t got worse, it’s not really better but it’s definitely not worse.

I am quite capable of pushing on and dealing with it and going through fairly stable periods but then when I am stressed, for any reason, it all comes crashing down. I don’t know whether to go to a new GP and tell them my concerns or ask for a referral to a psychiatrist or to just push on because chances are in a few weeks I won’t be fine on the inside but on the outside I’ll appear completely fine.
If you want BPD specific treatment, you have to get a psychiatrist referral.
You really should discuss your period problems with your GP. Sorting it out might not 'cure' your emotional difficulties BUT it will help.
Are you already on contraceptives? Because you maybe on the wrong one for you.
Last edited by glassalice; 4 weeks ago
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#36
Report 4 weeks ago
#36
(Original post by FutureMissMRCS)
The only way you can get diagnosed with BPD is by the psychiatrist, so your GP needs to refer you to the psychiatrist. I would recommend seeing another GP. I really hope you're going to get help for your self harm , it's difficult to overcome. If you do get the diagnosis you can get referred to specialist therapy such as DBT or MBT, so in my opinion getting the diagnosis helps you get the right treatment, since BPD is best treated through specialist therapy rather than medication. Seeing the psychiatrist also helped me get on the right medication, I take an antidepressant and a mood stabilliser. My GP did also try to dismiss me by saying I have anxiety and depression, so please don't give up and get the right help, I understand how difficult it is. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk about this more.
Thank you, I’m not sure whether to go back to the doctor and try to be persistent because although there are really bad times often for the sake of others I will just push on and try to be “normal” and can do that, but inside I still don’t feel good. I know that whatever the issue is, they will have seen worse symptoms than mine as sometimes I can control my behaviours but the thoughts are still there.

I had a short DBT skills group course a few years ago and found the skills kind of useful but then when I relapsed I just didn’t see the point in not self harming so didn’t use the skills. I think I should be able to stop again as I managed to the first time.

Thank you for being kind. I’m aware that I may not have bpd but whatever it is I’d rather know because I’m kind of sick of not having a diagnosis.
0
reply
Iforgetiwasbored
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#37
Report 4 weeks ago
#37
In my experience people with BPD are very toxic and life destroying. I didn't think you could get cured? you only treat your symptoms.
2
reply
Anonymous #3
#38
Report 4 weeks ago
#38
(Original post by glassalice)
If you want BPD specific treatment, you have to get a psychiatrist referral.
You really should discuss your period problems with your GP. Sorting it out might not 'cure' your emotional difficulties BUT it will help.
Are you already on contraceptives? Because you maybe on the wrong one for you.
I’ve discussed it with them before and they did a scan and blood tests and everything came back fine. My periods are usually very regular but then when I am stressed I end up with two periods in a month. I don’t get bad period pain or anything like that. I’m not on a contraceptive and never have been so it’s not linked to any contraceptive. Thank you for replying
0
reply
FutureMissMRCS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#39
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#39
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you, I’m not sure whether to go back to the doctor and try to be persistent because although there are really bad times often for the sake of others I will just push on and try to be “normal” and can do that, but inside I still don’t feel good. I know that whatever the issue is, they will have seen worse symptoms than mine as sometimes I can control my behaviours but the thoughts are still there.

I had a short DBT skills group course a few years ago and found the skills kind of useful but then when I relapsed I just didn’t see the point in not self harming so didn’t use the skills. I think I should be able to stop again as I managed to the first time.

Thank you for being kind. I’m aware that I may not have bpd but whatever it is I’d rather know because I’m kind of sick of not having a diagnosis.
I did what you did, pushed on - for a very long time. Then my symptoms got even worse. But my friend kept supporting me and pushing me to get help and I only got my BPD diagnosis because of how persistent she was about me getting the right help. Don't let the symptoms manifest into something worse by leaving it untreated. So please go back to your GP and be persistent with getting help. It's worth trying to ask for a referral.
0
reply
FutureMissMRCS
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#40
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#40
(Original post by Iforgetiwasbored)
In my experience people with BPD are very toxic and life destroying. I didn't think you could get cured? you only treat your symptoms.
Thank you for your pleasant compliment. Please go educate yourself.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How are you feeling ahead of results day?

Very Confident (56)
9.03%
Confident (81)
13.06%
Indifferent (89)
14.35%
Unsure (159)
25.65%
Worried (235)
37.9%

Watched Threads

View All