Girls, how would you react to a guy who says he loves you...

...when you're already with somebody?

I've known a girl for a while now who I absolutely adore. She's always in my mind. Knowing she's out of bounds, I try hard to get her out of my mind - but she's just perfect in every way... She's the last thing on my mind at night, the first thing when I wake up... She's on my mind when I'm walking... When I see beautiful girls, instead of being attracted to them, she automatically comes to mind. I think for the first time in my life I'm truly madly deeply in love with a girl...and it really hurts not being able to be with her, especially when I know that if things were different we'd be together. It's not just physical attraction, it's the fact that we are a perfect fit for each other, which I never knew would ever be possible for any two people.

We're going out later this week and I'm seriously thinking about telling her just how I feel...I just need to get it out of my system because I feel that we have both been kidding ourselves for far too long... I love this girl and I can't imagine living life without her... :no:

Reply 1

gamer91

11

bad idea if you know that it isnt reciprocated.

don't do it, it is likely to make things difficult/awkward

Reply 2

Ed.

17

Never ever say 'thankyou' when some-one says I love you.

Reply 3

smellslikemarmite

14

To be honest, I'd give him a ****ing slap around the chops.
DON'T DO IT. It's extremely selfish of you.

You are not in love with this girl. Love cannot be unrequited. This is obsession.

P.S. I am not saying this is fact, I am merely demonstrating an opinion.

Reply 4

sleeptodream

dont do it! if you really, really cant resist tell her that you like her, but do not use the l-word (love)... it wont work to anyone's benefit!

Reply 5

Gabriel-AA

Give her an ultimatum? Probably will be shot down by many people here, but it's obviously detrimental to your piece of mind being around her as a friend. Tell her how you feel, and explain it clearly to her.

Courage, my friend. How does that quote go? "You get nothing in life unless you try", or something like that.

Reply 6

silverbolt

19

ahhh i see your little mind working

you go out
you say i love you
her eyes light up
she says i love you to but didnt know if you felt the same way
you go back to yours and have wonderful amgical mind blowing life altering sex

and now the reality

it aint gonna happen, sorry dude but shes with someone else you telling her this is going to risk your friendship adn get you severly hurt

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

smellslikemarmite

To be honest, I'd give him a ****ing slap around the chops.
DON'T DO IT. It's extremely selfish of you.

You are not in love with this girl. Love cannot be unrequited. This is obsession.

P.S. I am not saying this is fact, I am merely demonstrating an opinion.

I am in love with this girl. It's not obsession... I'm also sure that she deeply cares for me but her existing relationship is making her suppress how she really feels.

Reply 8

inksplodge

17

wait til shes not with someone else because it can complicate things a loooot.

Reply 9

Coldplaydoh

16

Dump one or the other - for god's sake, don't lead them both on, because you know it'll end in tears. You NEED to make a decision

You must NOT tell her how you feel until you're single. It's in no way fair on you, the girl or your girlfriend

Do you think it's worth ruining your relationship by doing this? You need to think harder, but make a decision quickly over which girl you want, otherwise it'll DEFINITELY end messily.

Reply 10

smellslikemarmite

14

And what if she doesn't care deeply for you? You've then sabotaged your relationship, probably sabotaged her relationship with her boyfriend, and just generally made her feel like **** because she will have had to choose between the two.
It's an incredibly selfish thing to do to someone.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

I am in love with this girl. It's not obsession... I'm also sure that she deeply cares for me but her existing relationship is making her suppress how she really feels.

holy ****, i am in EXACTLY the same position. I've been wondering about this too :s-smilie:

Reply 12

fredscarecrow

18

Please don't.
If she's in another relationship, leave it. Perhap have a word with her, but please no declarations of undying love. You'll just freak her out.

Reply 13

AlexanderGPM

I wouldn't drop a bombshell so early in your potential relationship.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

inksplodge

wait til shes not with someone else because it can complicate things a loooot.

it's really, really complicated... I can't simply wait until she's not with someone else as she's engaged.

Reply 15

Gabriel-AA

smellslikemarmite

To be honest, I'd give him a ****ing slap around the chops.
DON'T DO IT. It's extremely selfish of you.

You are not in love with this girl. Love cannot be unrequited. This is obsession.

P.S. I am not saying this is fact, I am merely demonstrating an opinion.

That actually made me snort; you've just destroyed centuries of poet's inspiration by claiming their Muse doesn't exist. Trying going to Brown, Tennyson (Lady of Shallot- what a poem!) or Yeats and saying "Hey, cheer up; you're not in love, becuase it's unrequited!".

Reply 16

juicylucy :)

7

silverbolt

ahhh i see your little mind working

you go out
you say i love you
her eyes light up
she says i love you to but didnt know if you felt the same way
you go back to yours and have wonderful amgical mind blowing life altering sex

and now the reality

it aint gonna happen, sorry dude but shes with someone else you telling her this is going to risk your friendship adn get you severly hurt

Ditto to that I'm afraid. Surely she wouldn't be with the person she is currently with if she is so deeply in love with you?
Love is between two people in a relationship, working both ways. I highly doubt you are in love with her.

Reply 17

DomAD

9

I say go for it. You'll regret it if you don't.

Reply 18

Tyraell

13

I'd kick him in the love spuds. :ninja:

If I was a girl that is...

By the way, you sound a bit infatuated - been there, done that.

Reply 19

annarchy

10

Ed.

Never ever say 'thankyou' when some-one says I love you.

What should you say....?

I said that before because I didn't know what to say. But I genuinely meant, thank you for being that nice to me. What's wrong with that? !

OP - I don't think you should tell her straight away unless you have no doubt in your mind that she feels the same or she will run a mile. If you have to tell her something to let her know how you feel, tell her most of what you said here, that she's perfect, you think about her all the time etc, but don't say the big L unless you're together, or she might run away. I really do not know, I always find it difficult giving advice like this when I know so little.

Girls, how would you react to a guy who says he loves you...

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