Not reaching your goals

It’s demotivating when you set yourself a goal to achieve in life but you don’t make it, my goal when I was in year 10 and 11 was to pass my GCSEs and get onto an apprenticeship which I didn’t get so it was very demotivating especially with me because I was told by a teacher that I’m not going to make it basically. It’s just being told you can’t do something that you’ve wanted for so long can really impact you and it did with me. Other students told me that I won’t make that as well and when I actually figured out I hadn’t made it, I kind of felt like a failure.

I have always wanted to be able to drive for my whole life but it just really hurt again when my driving instructor told me that I basically will never pass my driving and that really did put me down for days. I was constantly having bad driving which was demotivating me but to be told that I won’t achieve what I wanted for so long did **** me up. Having bad driving lessons alone was putting me down because driving is something I have always wanted to do my whole life and all the time I was worried about not being able to drive and then that instructor saying it did ruin me. I was down at night, I couldn’t eat at some points and I couldn’t sleep. I think not being able to drive would make my life a whole lot harder because it would demotivate me long term when everyone around you can do it but you can’t and it’s just so much harder to do your daily duties like going to work or shopping or when you have kids.

People think when you don’t reach a goal you can just carry on and find another one else but it’s not that simple. At college my the TA just said to me “if you can’t do it you you can’t do it” but it’s just not like that. I was just saying “I just want to be able to drive” the TA just said “You don’t always get what you want” which pissed me off because she’s making it out like it some computer game that I want but it’s just so much more than that.

I was told by a teacher that ...

but to be told that I won’t achieve what I wanted ...

the TA just said to me “if you can’t do it you you can’t do it” ...

which pissed me off because she’s making it out like it some computer game that I want but it’s just so much more than that.

To quote Alfred from Batman Begins - "Why do we fall...so we can learn to pick ourselves up".

I would say, just set yourself a small goal. Doesn't matter how small, just achieve it. For example, it seems like you really have a burning passion to drive. So find yourself a new driving instructor. One who is actually a teacher and will support you. Not an idiot who will put you down. A teacher is supposed to teach you and show you your mistakes. Not put you down and say you can't make it. To hell with that. Find a new teacher. So that's your first goal.

Maybe your second goal is to keep taking lessons and get better.

third goal - Take your theory

...etc..

I’ve never had any motivation, I wake up every day thinking that my life is a waste and that I wish I could just start over with a new and better life.

Sometimes teachers use this tactic because they think it will make you angry enough to motivate you harder to achieve something.
But you seem to want understanding and affirming instead - they got you wrong.

If you really had a hug in real life and genuine face to face sympathy would it help you motivate to achieve your goals?

I’ve never had any motivation, I wake up every day thinking that my life is a waste and that I wish I could just start over with a new and better life.

How old are you bro?

But each day is a fresh start

It’s demotivating when you set yourself a goal to achieve in life but you don’t make it, my goal when I was in year 10 and 11 was to pass my GCSEs and get onto an apprenticeship which I didn’t get so it was very demotivating especially with me because I was told by a teacher that I’m not going to make it basically. It’s just being told you can’t do something that you’ve wanted for so long can really impact you and it did with me. Other students told me that I won’t make that as well and when I actually figured out I hadn’t made it, I kind of felt like a failure.

I have always wanted to be able to drive for my whole life but it just really hurt again when my driving instructor told me that I basically will never pass my driving and that really did put me down for days. I was constantly having bad driving which was demotivating me but to be told that I won’t achieve what I wanted for so long did **** me up. Having bad driving lessons alone was putting me down because driving is something I have always wanted to do my whole life and all the time I was worried about not being able to drive and then that instructor saying it did ruin me. I was down at night, I couldn’t eat at some points and I couldn’t sleep. I think not being able to drive would make my life a whole lot harder because it would demotivate me long term when everyone around you can do it but you can’t and it’s just so much harder to do your daily duties like going to work or shopping or when you have kids.

People think when you don’t reach a goal you can just carry on and find another one else but it’s not that simple. At college my the TA just said to me “if you can’t do it you you can’t do it” but it’s just not like that. I was just saying “I just want to be able to drive” the TA just said “You don’t always get what you want” which pissed me off because she’s making it out like it some computer game that I want but it’s just so much more than that.

I’m 17, and with each day comes the same thoughts and feelings.

You're full of shyt.

Because you're listening to people full of shyt.

Stop listening to people who are full of shyt, and you'll be a lot better off. Network with people who encourage and support you instead.

I've had my fill of unhelpful douche bags in my life, telling me what I "can't do", instead of what I can. I have this reflex, where if someone tells me I "can't do it", or "it can't be done"... I throw myself at it with even more energy just out of spite. Got a very good example of this recently from work, but it'll be too nerdy/complex to describe in full. A bridge needed it's supports to be replaced. Very difficult job. I figured out a way to do it, which no one else (even people with 20 years experience) said would work. They even told me it wouldn't work. I just kept pushing, asking more people and more questions, until I eventually found someone (an external supplier) who has done it in the past, has case studies of it, and engineers with the right experience to do the job. I threw the initial stage of the project way over budget by spending a lot more time on it, which upset some people. But this 'method' I found could potentially save several hundred thousand pounds, as it means we don't need to lift the bridge (sort of). Like I said, I'm avoiding the technical details. You get the point though.

Don't listen to people. If you know what is right, then do it. Think about what is actually stopping you from doing the things you want. Nothing is stopping you from passing your driving test, apart from your lack of confidence. Your lack of confidence is thanks to you being surrounded with bad influences from people. If you can get rid of them from your life, do it. If you can't, then just stop listening to them. And look for better people.

I would change driving instructors if I were you.

I changed to auto with a new instructor it’s just sometimes it feels that I’m incapable of doing some crap because I just don’t know I think it’s just because I had people be negative about all my life since primary school to now so it’s been hard trying to convince myself that I can do something

"I think it’s just because I had people be negative about all my life since primary school to now so it’s been hard trying to convince myself that I can do something"

There is the problem. I had been through something similar.

My parents were very 'supportive' when I did what they expected of me. But when I 'stepped out of line' and had my own ideas, suddenly they would often come up with a hundred excuses for why it can't be done, instead of trying to work through the problem with me. So I stopped listening them, and we barely talk about anything meaningful anymore. Almost any time I try to open up to them, I am reminded why I should not have done it.

It’s hard when you have doubted by loads of people all you life.

Sometimes I had my own mum say I was incapable of of stuff when I was younger and sometimes she was negative about me

Spend more time on this forum. I don't think you'll find many people like that here.

Spend more time with 'helpful' people.

There is thing thing in psychology called 'neuroplasticity'. What it means is very simple... it means that you can change. But the later in life you leave it the harder it gets. So start now.