Why do I crave my ex boyfriend who emotionally abused me?

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milliejayne19
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#1
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I fully well know he is toxic for me, yet I crave him and it makes me want to go back to him. Why?
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Anonymous #1
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Because he is handsome and women love it when hot masculine guys abuse them
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Greywolf.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Because he is handsome and women love it when hot masculine guys abuse them
Yeah not funny
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Greywolf.
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(Original post by milliejayne19)
I fully well know he is toxic for me, yet I crave him and it makes me want to go back to him. Why?
Think of it similar to withdrawal symptoms
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Because he is handsome and women love it when hot masculine guys abuse them
Yh true women like alpha males but when they finally get a alpha male ***** and moan that the geeza is too controlling like make your mind up - isn't it what they wanted ?
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londonmyst
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Because you miss the sexual chemistry, affection, good memories from the relationship and don't want to be alone?
Or you just miss the sex?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yh true women like alpha males but when they finally get a alpha male ***** and moan that the geeza is too controlling like make your mind up - isn't it what they wanted ?
they want a alpha to choke and spank them and pin them down

very few can be an alpha so it makes sense why OP misses them
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saltandshake
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Emotional abusers carefully design the pattern of their mistreatment so that when they are absent, literally or emotionally, their partners feel almost compelled to seek their attention, even though (as you say) they know that it is unhealthy.

Do have a look into the effects of narcissistic abuse- cravings for an abuser are particularly common where the ex is a narcissist. It sounds as though this may be your situation. In a nutshell; a narcissist's mistreatment fills an emotional void that exists in their partner, so when this abuse is gone, they long for their ex back to fill that void. The longing you're feeling now might be a result of a behaviour known as the idealisation-devaluation-discard cycle. A useful couple of articles on this: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/ide...issism-0325154 and https://neuroinstincts.com/neuroscie...honda-freeman/ . You're missing the emotional high that your ex provided at the beginning of your relationship to hook you in. It's certainly akin to withdrawing from a drug- the feelings are very powerful.

Above all, do not go back to him, under any circumstances. Take time to yourself to heal the trauma from the abuse, or you will likely find yourself in similar relationships throughout your lifetime. Don't underestimate the scars of emotional abuse- perhaps when lockdown restrictions are lifted, you could find yourself a therapist.
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Joleee
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did he make you feel like you couldn't do any better? did he tell you you were nothing without him?

do you feel the need to 'win' his approval? or maybe if you change him you've accomplished something as a person. there's heaps of reasons people stay in abusive relationships.
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999tigger
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(Original post by milliejayne19)
I fully well know he is toxic for me, yet I crave him and it makes me want to go back to him. Why?
Low self esteem and delusional.
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MPenny04
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#11
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wow a good couple incels here already damn
"they just want a chad to abuse them" grow up
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Anonymous #2
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
they want a alpha to choke and spank them and pin them down

very few can be an alpha so it makes sense why OP misses them
If that b doesn't wanna get smacked she should go for a guy who lacks in self confidence and is basically a sissy otherwise no offence 90% of men r like that unless they wet of gay
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by MPenny04)
wow a good couple incels here already damn
"they just want a chad to abuse them" grow up
Hah pretty sure u meant chav 😂😂😂
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MPenny04)
wow a good couple incels here already damn
"they just want a chad to abuse them" grow up
they don't want chad

they want a high testosterone muslim
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