i have a problem pls help

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
please even ONE person take the time to read this and help me out it would mean a lot

so me and my best friend of six years who i am super close with share everything together. she got a bf who was emotionally abusive and we had one of our biggest arguments lasting about four months because she told me she would never speak to him again and lied as i found out they got back together which she completely hid from me. I got over it and we became very close again not long ago and she tells me that she broke up with her bf and she is “civil” at the most with him because she’s scared of what he might do if she cuts him off completely. She told me that she’s using quarantine as a break just like i am where we both don’t post on any social media for the next couple of months. Yesterday, my friend from school messaged me saying that she was blocked from seeing my best friends snapchat post and i was like “what snapchat post?” because my best friend had told me she isn’t posting. Basically what happened is my best friend had also blocked me from seeing her snapchat post but most people could see it and it was a video throwback of her ex who she was now “civil” with. She removed me from seeing it whilst telling me she isn’t posting at all and i feel like she’s hiding more from me then what i’ve already caught. I confronted her and she said she removed me from seeing it for my own sake because she knows i get annoyed about it and that she only posted it so he would get off her case. I got annoyed with her and she was like it’s not that big of a deal and it’s fine if u don’t speak to me until you get over it. so i didn’t speak to her for two days and today i messaged her saying “so are u two back together “ and she goes “no we are not. i’m very good thank you i hope you are well too” (being sarcastic because i didn’t ask her how she was) she’s being blunt towards me but i don’t understand why. she’s supposed to be my closest best friend almost a sister to me and she keeps hiding things from me making me question anything she tells me.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
sorry, what was the question
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Anonymous #3
#3
Report 1 year ago
#3
Which toy would you and your friend like from your happy meal?
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Anonymous #4
#4
Report 1 year ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
please even ONE person take the time to read this and help me out it would mean a lot

so me and my best friend of six years who i am super close with share everything together. she got a bf who was emotionally abusive and we had one of our biggest arguments lasting about four months because she told me she would never speak to him again and lied as i found out they got back together which she completely hid from me. I got over it and we became very close again not long ago and she tells me that she broke up with her bf and she is “civil” at the most with him because she’s scared of what he might do if she cuts him off completely. She told me that she’s using quarantine as a break just like i am where we both don’t post on any social media for the next couple of months. Yesterday, my friend from school messaged me saying that she was blocked from seeing my best friends snapchat post and i was like “what snapchat post?” because my best friend had told me she isn’t posting. Basically what happened is my best friend had also blocked me from seeing her snapchat post but most people could see it and it was a video throwback of her ex who she was now “civil” with. She removed me from seeing it whilst telling me she isn’t posting at all and i feel like she’s hiding more from me then what i’ve already caught. I confronted her and she said she removed me from seeing it for my own sake because she knows i get annoyed about it and that she only posted it so he would get off her case. I got annoyed with her and she was like it’s not that big of a deal and it’s fine if u don’t speak to me until you get over it. so i didn’t speak to her for two days and today i messaged her saying “so are u two back together “ and she goes “no we are not. i’m very good thank you i hope you are well too” (being sarcastic because i didn’t ask her how she was) she’s being blunt towards me but i don’t understand why. she’s supposed to be my closest best friend almost a sister to me and she keeps hiding things from me making me question anything she tells me.
You're friend needed help, you gave help, she rejected your advice. That's her problem. If you want to stay her friends with her then just let her do her thing and if she has problems with her bf that's her problem and you stay out of it as she doesn't value your input
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Which toy would you and your friend like from your happy meal
literally could’ve just ignored my post and went about ur day but okay then
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Anonymous #5
#6
Report 1 year ago
#6
Hmmmm, it seems as though you are growing as a person whereas your friend is not. Maybe its time for you two to take a break from eachother (if you know what i mean). For your sake, for your own happiness, you need to think about yourself first after all. Ease it out.
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coolcats+kittens
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I am just going to throw it out there. So if her bf is emotionally abusive then he's a jerk and that's that. Perhaps, her going back to her boyfriend could just be because she's stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship and she finds it difficult to leave despite the support you will give her as she is terrified of what he may do if she simply just left. I feel like these situations are tricky because she doesn't know what to do and may act out like blocking you from her story or posting throwbacks of her ex. If she has to remove you from her story then she is clearly contemplating her actions and is scared of your judgement. I feel like what you should do is despite what your thoughts are, you need to be there for her as a support network and be ready to help her if she leaves this toxic relationship. By not talking to her, you are, in a sense, isolating her for when she does reach out for help. You don't have to be okay with the relationship and if he is an emotional abuser then you should absolutely not be supporting it. But you should be supporting her, listening to her and just being a friend to her. If you establish a good, stable and supportive relationship for her maybe she won't be as scared to leave the relationship. But you are in every right to have your own feelings heard. If you feel as though you need to take a step back then please do. This is not on you if she has made her decision and you feel as though it is healthier for you to take some time out of this friendship. You need to do what's best for you.
Last edited by coolcats+kittens; 1 year ago
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by coolcats+kittens)
I am just going to throw it out there. So if her bf is emotionally abusive then he's a jerk and that's that. Perhaps, her going back to her boyfriend could just be because she's stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship and she finds it difficult to leave despite the support you will give her as she is terrified of what he may do if she simply just left. I feel like these situations are tricky because she doesn't know what to do and may act out like blocking you from her story or posting throwbacks of her ex. If she has to remove you from her story then she is clearly contemplating her actions and is scared of your judgement. I feel like what you should do is despite what your thoughts are, you need to be there for her as a support network and be ready to help her if she leaves this toxic relationship. By not talking to her, you are, in a sense, isolating her for when she does reach out for help. You don't have to be okay with the relationship and if he is an emotional abuser then you should absolutely not be supporting it. But you should be supporting her, listening to her and just being a friend to her. If you establish a good, stable and supportive relationship for her maybe she won't be as scared to leave the relationship. But you are in every right to have your own feelings heard. If you feel as though you need to take a step back then please do. This is not on you if she has made her decision and you feel as though it is healthier for you to take some time out of this friendship. You need to do what's best for you.
thank you so so much for taking the time! i’ll definitely take a break from it xxx
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