I feel ignored by my friends

Hi
I have a nice set of friends, they are genuine people but i cant help but feel ignored by them, for example on our groupchats, they will all be talking and then as soon as i enter the group it falls silent, or ill just be ignored the entire time.. i feel like I go out of my way to be kind to them and always ask how they are and how their days are going but i cant remember the last time anyone genuinely asked me "how are you?". I suffer from mood swings and can feel quite down sometimes (down to my meds) but i dont think i ever have lashed out on my friends, or been in a mood with them so i dont think that affects anything, if anything i would've thought that is more of a reason for people to check up on you now and then. Even sometimes when i directly tag or @ a friend, they will still ignore it, i just find it a little weird idk if i am overreacting..

My birthday is soon, i guess i'll see if anyone remembers..

Reply 1

dumpling_eater

Have you talked to them (either as a group or individually) about how you feel?
Do you find that, when they go out and hang out somewhere, you're not invited or perhaps a last minute thought? Maybe, when they post pictures of the "friend group" on instagram, you're not being included in the picture or they make the effort to not tag you/crop you out?

Seems like they're the type of "friends" that happen to "need" you when its convenient for them, but in actuality they could care less about you (unfortunately). Ditch those kinds of people, in my opinion.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by dumpling_eater

No we always go out together and when we do it is always fun however, we only go out rarely bc everyone is busy etc. Most of the time our communication is via social media. This is why im a little confused, sometimes ill feel like we are all just normal friends, and other times ill feel completely ignored and unwanted, i feel like sometimes they get sick of me but i dont understand why... and no, ive never spoken to them about it because i dont want there to be any awkwardness or tension.

Reply 3

akany:)

If you arent feeling valued or feeling accepted then I suggest you cut off your friends. It may seem difficult but at the end of the day your happiness is important and if these friendships are contributing negatively to that then you cant be with these people. Please dont blame yourself for other peoples behaviour, it is their responsibility to be kind and caring.

Reply 4

username5270016

Original post by Anonymous

they seem toxic , cut them off

Reply 5

Fermion.

Sounds like you need better friends.

Reply 6

dumpling_eater

Original post by Anonymous

Like everyone above has said, it'd be best to cut them off but you should at least talk to them about how you're feeling. That might be the turning point in the friendship, or maybe it'll be the end of it.

If that's the end, then that's okay and you can make a new, better group of friends that will care more for you and treat you better than they did.

Reply 7

Alisha2355

They’re losers ditch them

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

I know exactly how you feel. Especially when everyone is isolating you can feel even more alone and feel as though they should have more time on their hands to contact you?
My friends never message me first and i’m constantly the one initiating everything. I think i am going to stop trying and see if anyone notices or bothers to ask how I am. I think you should do the same

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

I feel literally the same way. Had a few friends in uni throughout my three years there, but towards the end of the second year they started going out without me and inviting me last minute when they had no one else to go with them.

Personally I'd say don't bother with them and look for new friends, you deserve better.

Some of these friends of mine I've only talked to a handful of times in lockdown whereas they talk to each other every day. A shame how much effort needs to be put in to get a reply from them, but thinking of moving on real soon..