When I was in 14, a toxic "friend" used to lowkey bully me and break my confidence
When I was 14, she said you're never gonna get a job and I'm never gonna do good in job interviews in a really nasty way.
I'm 22 now, I've never had one and I've been applying since I was 16 with all my effort. What she said then is always at the back of my mind and I feel so unconfident in getting a job. I feel depressed about it.
I'm 22 now, I've never had one and I've been applying since I was 16 with all my effort. What she said then is always at the back of my mind and I feel so unconfident in getting a job. I feel depressed about it.
Don't allow the negativity of a toxic person to ruin your future, harm your state of mind or dictate your ambitions. 
You can use memories like that to fuel your desire for the challenge of proving those words wrong.
Or you choose to forget the unpleasant individual and not waste your time focusing on any of the nasty things that she said & did.
Either way your future will be determined by your own personality, attitudes, achievements and choices.
Have a hopeful attitude, positive demeanour and keep your eyes open for possible opportunities to add to your skillset or make helpful contacts.
Good luck!
You can use memories like that to fuel your desire for the challenge of proving those words wrong.
Or you choose to forget the unpleasant individual and not waste your time focusing on any of the nasty things that she said & did.
Either way your future will be determined by your own personality, attitudes, achievements and choices.
Have a hopeful attitude, positive demeanour and keep your eyes open for possible opportunities to add to your skillset or make helpful contacts.
Good luck!
Original post by Anonymous
When I was 14, she said you're never gonna get a job and I'm never gonna do good in job interviews in a really nasty way.
I'm 22 now, I've never had one and I've been applying since I was 16 with all my effort. What she said then is always at the back of my mind and I feel so unconfident in getting a job. I feel depressed about it.
I'm 22 now, I've never had one and I've been applying since I was 16 with all my effort. What she said then is always at the back of my mind and I feel so unconfident in getting a job. I feel depressed about it.
Something similar happened to me, when I was the same age... only it was to do with relationships... so I can empathise to an extent.
Not gonna lie, you may need to have some counselling to help you get past the first hurdle... but another thing that may help you is to do a reality check, I'll explain:-
Seriously, what made your "friend" an expert in job interviews or what people look for when considering a prospective employee? Did she have a job? Did she do interviews?... IN fact, what is she doing now.. is she earning millions with a glowing CV? Is she head-hunted by all the major multinational corporations? Or is she also looking for work or only scraping by?
Also look at your own situation... Do you now have any qualifications? In any case, she said that to you 8 years ago. Experts believe that you can dramatically change your personality every 7 years or so (life experience and the current challenges shape your personality). Also, have you considered going to some kind of careers centre to get your CV looked at, or practice your interview technique. As well as your qualifications, experience etc. interviewers also pick up on your body-language... and that's probably where you're fundamentally flawed.... another reason why I would strongly recommend counselling
If it's any consolation, it's a tough time for just about everyone at the moment work-wise for obvious reasons. A lot of people cannot work at the moment, many people are being made redundant and for those that can work, they're putting their health (and possibly their lives) at risk.
Use some of this time to face your demons, so you're in the best position possible when we're eventually "released" lol.
Original post by Anonymous
When I was 14, she said you're never gonna get a job and I'm never gonna do good in job interviews in a really nasty way.
I'm 22 now, I've never had one and I've been applying since I was 16 with all my effort. What she said then is always at the back of my mind and I feel so unconfident in getting a job. I feel depressed about it.
I'm 22 now, I've never had one and I've been applying since I was 16 with all my effort. What she said then is always at the back of my mind and I feel so unconfident in getting a job. I feel depressed about it.
I had people try to put me down too. Some people want to bring you down with them; (assuming) she's not in your life anymore and she has no say over what you can and can't do. That it up to you. If anyone has an issue with that, get rid of them because they have issues you don't need to be shoved on to you. You can get a job and you are employable and you will find one. In this period it will be harder but it took ages for me to get my first job. And that will always be the hardest. Keep looking as I believe you can do it
Original post by Anonymous
When I was 14, she said you're never gonna get a job and I'm never gonna do good in job interviews in a really nasty way.
I'm 22 now, I've never had one and I've been applying since I was 16 with all my effort. What she said then is always at the back of my mind and I feel so unconfident in getting a job. I feel depressed about it.
I'm 22 now, I've never had one and I've been applying since I was 16 with all my effort. What she said then is always at the back of my mind and I feel so unconfident in getting a job. I feel depressed about it.
That's strange.
Did your parents for example not have any useful advice for you instead? Or any other people in your life?
How come your memory has fixated itself on this one toxic person in your past? There must have been others.
(edited 3 years ago)
Original post by NonIndigenous
That's strange.
Did your parents for example not have any useful advice for you instead? Or any other people in your life?
How come your memory has fixated itself on this one toxic person in your past? There must have been others.
Did your parents for example not have any useful advice for you instead? Or any other people in your life?
How come your memory has fixated itself on this one toxic person in your past? There must have been others.
Now that I think of it, I've had a lot of toxic people in my life since childhood including dad and aunts who have said negative things to me and been critical. I have basically no confidence or self esteem. So I think there have been many other comments too of putting me down so much that I've ended up hating myself. I guess I'm fixated on that girls comment because I've still remembered it moreso than others. I am a very sensitive person. My parents can't really offer advice because I'm a child of immigrants and the first one to get an education or job here.
Original post by Anonymous
Now that I think of it, I've had a lot of toxic people in my life since childhood including dad and aunts who have said negative things to me and been critical. I have basically no confidence or self esteem. So I think there have been many other comments too of putting me down so much that I've ended up hating myself. I guess I'm fixated on that girls comment because I've still remembered it moreso than others. I am a very sensitive person. My parents can't really offer advice because I'm a child of immigrants and the first one to get an education or job here.
That's what I thought. It would be strange for her comments to get to you, if you had a strong & supportive family around you instead to compensate. I am wondering, are you a guy or a girl yourself?
It's easier said than done: you need to spend more time around supporting & uplifting people.
You also probably need to work on yourself more. The consequence of living around negative people is it often also makes you negative. I don't know if this is the case with you, but I think it's safe to assume so (as this is almost always the effect it has on people). If so, you need to figure out the real reasons why you are negative (like how your family treated you), and start by acknowledging this is the case, and fixing those behaviors. It's great if you have someone you can confide in with this, who can help point these things out when you are behaving 'negative'.
But you also need to genuinely want to change for the better, and make a conscious effort to do this. Start by reducing contact with the negative people in your life. If you find certain people cause you to relapse into bad habits and thought patterns, spend less time with them, or as little time as possible.
'Positive' people can be protective of their positivity as well. Some are more so, some less. Some are so protective that they cannot handle any criticism or negative emotion whatsoever, to the point of being absolutely irrational. Why they do this, is another topic. My point is, you'll have a hard time being 'accepted' by positive people, if you don't improve yourself first as well and show signs of improvement. Nonetheless, they are still people and can also be a bit 'warped' in some ways. So don't take it to heart if someone overreacts because of a small criticism or just because you point out to them a better way of doing something and they don't 'accept' you because of it.
Also, do you by any chance find positive people 'intimidating'? Like you don't deserve their attention? Or that you feel out-of-place around them? If so, that's another feeling you'll have to get over.
I hope I've not been to presumptuous in my post, and that what I've written applies to you & helps.
(edited 3 years ago)
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