Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

I am so jelous and upset

BASICALLY, WHENEVER SOMEONE POSTS SOMETHING (USEFUL) ON THE GROUP CHAT OR PEOPLE SET UP REVISION CLASSES/SESSIONS, I GET SO UPSET BECAUSE I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO BE EXCEEDING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? It makes my skin crawl and I feel so upset :frown:

Reply 1

Mr Wednesday

Original post by Anonymous

Well caps key set to OFF may help a bit there, makes everyone feel a lot more chilled when there is less shouting.

Reply 2

Surnia

Exceeding what? Do you mean appearing better than you, in your own mind? Meh, it will happen that someone gets higher grades, or is better at sport, or gets a promotion at work ahead of you. It's called life. You need to accept it and make the most of your skills and intelligence. Never any point being jealous of people because you don't necessarily know their circumstances and you could have an aspect of your life which they envy.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I can relate to this I do want the best for my friends and I want them to do well but I can’t help feeling jealous at the same time like I want to be better. Makes me feel horrible maybe it’s a competitiveness thing

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Perhaps you were used to being the "best" or "excellent" student or maybe you just want to appear smarter than others as you feel people will value you more but in reality grades are only a stepping stone into your life and they don't not determine how successful you can really be (unless they're trash) What you need to do is accept that you can never be the best at something because there will always be people better than you.

Reply 5

NonIndigenous

Original post by Anonymous

Ok, how to put this... in a way that you've hopefully not heard it before.

Exam results, money, pay grades, job titles, are all things invented by people to for the most part to categorise one another according to our 'success' and/or 'influence'. If you play 'the game', you will almost always be a loser. There will almost always be someone with better grades, higher job title, more money, etc.

These are very linear metrics which people have created to describe our success, in what is actually a very non-linear and complex world.

Stop thinking in terms of exam results, money, etc. and think in terms of your own personal interests, inspirations, ambitions and aspirations. If you come up with your own image of success and what you want in life, independent of any socially constructed cultural image pertaining to exam grades or money, then it will be entirely your own. Nobody will be able to compete with you on it. It is still important for these ambitions to be rooted in some real-world need, that you can hopefully then make money off as well. I am not saying money is 'not important', only that it is not the most important thing. And any exam grades you also aim for then, are just a means to that end. It doesn't matter therefore if you get a B instead of an A in some subjects, if you still get the job at the end of the day.

Or in other words, you are being short-sighted. Aim for something a little big bigger and further into the future, and you will realise that exam grades are definitely not the most important thing. I'm not saying they're not important, but they're not he most important. I think it was Bill Gates... or Steve Jobs, who said "If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far go together". Whoever it was, it's good advice. Let it curb your jealousy of other people who you perceive are doing better than you just because they've got a slightly higher grade or income. It will make your life a lot easier if you're able to make friends with these people instead of enemies.