Love is worthless, isn't it?

My ex-girlfriend and I were in a relationship for three years between 2010-2013, and during that time, she treated me like dirt, always trying to make me jealous, setting me up with her friend and then getting jealous when she'd see us together, most of the time we'd chat on Facebook, because we lived in different cities. Anyway, that ended after she accused me of hacking her sister's Facebook account, which I never did, but would do nowadays because I hate her and her family for the way they treated me. I used to buy her gifts, make her feel good and make her feel like she was the only girl for me, but she never cared. We'd talk on Facebook, but she would stop talking mid conversation and say she would be back in a minute, but never return. I met another girl since her in 2016, and although she was a much better person, we never dated because I couldn't get close to her. My ex ruined my life and my self esteem. I now think that all girls are the same, they'll only play games and end up hurting me. It's been seven years since we broke up, she's with new guy, I'm still in the current situation, living the same life, while our families aren't even friends anymore, and we never will be again. There is very little chance that I'll ever see her again, but she still continues to ruin me, because I let her.

So considering all this, love (for me) is a waste of time.

Reply 1

Greywolf.

No it definitely isnt

Reply 2

TheCoolBro

Love isn't just romantic though. What about love from family and friends? I don't think that's worthless at all. And even romance-wise maybe one day you'll find the right person and it'll all make sense. :smile:

Reply 3

peepeedd

No. You were just unlucky for having a bad relationship. I promise you, you’ll find happiness, with or without romance.

Reply 4

liaente

That isn't love. If you knew what love meant, you would never call it worthless. You'll find someone. And what about love from your family and friends? :h:

Reply 5

username5257152

Seriously, stop using one bad experience to paint one picture about all relationships. We all know people are different and relationships are different.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by zhendoz

Seriously, stop using one bad experience to paint one picture about all relationships. We all know people are different and relationships are different.

People aren't different, we're all the same just pretending to be someone else. My ex may treat her current boyfriend like he's a king, but someday she'll swallow him up and spit him out like he's nothing but a tasteless piece of gum.

Reply 7

Greywolf.

Original post by Anonymous

Ouch, why so bitter? When you find the right person to be with you will find that love is the best thing ever

Reply 8

username5257152

Original post by Anonymous

Again, you’re stuck on her :wink:

Reply 9

Greywolf.

More to the point, many conflicts before have been as a result of love, therefore it’s not worthless

Reply 10

peepeedd

Original post by Anonymous

People are complex though. We’re not all copy and paste. Therefore, it’s unfair for yourself to think that your future relationship will be an exact replica of your previous one. Don’t worry, op, I assure you that you will realise that if you’re willing to try once again.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by peepeedd

Trust me all the girls I meet, except that one girl (who I previously mentioned), are the same. People just treat me like I'm nothing, but a worthless Hippo. I don't have many friends and don't enjoy my life. I'm only planning on living until I'm 30, so I think for now there's nothing else to do but think bitter thoughts.

Reply 12

peepeedd

Original post by Anonymous

That’s unhealthy mindset to have, there are many girls who you’ll eventually find are different. Romance isn’t a one-way road with only one outcome, there are many things that can happen. But even so, romance shouldn’t be seen as an attainment or a goal and it’s not a good idea to base your happiness on that.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by peepeedd

Thanks for your words of encouragement, and you're probably right. But honestly I've nothing else left to do except live the same life. Love seems to be special for some, and meaningless for others. I know we all have times of doubt, but I'm a damaged man.

Reply 14

peepeedd

Original post by Anonymous

I wish you all the best in your journey to reach your happiness, op! You’ll find someone one day who will love you for who you are and will make you smile, all it requires is for you to be willing to try!

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by peepeedd

I suppose one only fails when one stops trying. There might be someone who can bring a smile back to my face, but that'll take an exceptional person.

Reply 16

Dunnig Kruger

Original post by Anonymous

There is very little chance that I'll ever see her again, but she still continues to ruin me, because I let her.

So considering all this, love (for me) is a waste of time.

Love for you may well be a waste of time. That's OK. It's your life. You live it how you want.

Love for me, and for everyone else in my family and social circle is not a waste of time. It's the best thing in their lives and in my life!

If you are letting her ruin your life, it's not her that's ruining your life. It's you!

Give yourself a huge metaphorical slap round the head. Wake up! Smell the roses!

There is one special person that can bring a smile to your face and some equilibrium to your life. Do you know who that is?
It's you!

I got rejected by the first young woman that I fell in love with. It really hurt at the time. But the main reason I got rejected was because of me and my behaviour towards her. It was a huge learning experience that helped me to behave like a not terribly bad person with the second young woman that came into my life. In turn, I behaved better with my third love. And so on.

Embrace failure. Failure is a learning experience. Learning is good.

This is highly hyopthetical, but I bet you that if I were to meet and get attached to your ex from 7 years ago, that there'd be a 60% chance that I'd dump her, a 30% chance that she'd dump me and a 10% chance that we'd be together till death did us part. If we had gotten involved with each other when I was 18 there's an 80% chance she'd have dumped me, a 19% chance I'd have dumped her and a 1% chance we'd have stayed together till death parted us.

Reply 17

xylas

Original post by Anonymous

Pull yourself together. You are not damaged, neither am I. I could have easily had that mindset, and maybe I did for a bit, but not anymore. 2016 is a long time ago, you can do better than pity yourself and seek attention on this thread.