The Student Room Group

Liking boys but then wanting to be a boy ??

Please, no hate .
But I had a serious conversation with my mum which made me very worried . Some days I want to have a boyfriend ( I am a girl but a tomboy one I where boys clothes and play video games and like cars and stereotypical male activities ever since I was 5, I'm 18 now ).... . But at the same time I feel like I am enough of a man myself and that I don't need no man when I can just turn into one . We did talk about surgery , but there are many factors stopping me from actually changing gender . First of all my dad will probably disown me he is very cynical about the LGBTQ movement . He said if I came out as lesbian he would throw me out the house - luckily I wasn't . Even if I did the surgery and he didn't throw me out he probably most likely not talk to me ever again. There's also other issues with my physical features as well , I am quite short and the surgery doesn't change your height either so I will be stuck at 5'5 . And a grown man wouldn't be that short unless I want to end up looking like a 13 year old kid . Also the bullying , I have been bullied for being a tomboy since I was young by both boys and girls many trans people kill themselves because the society don't accept them and fewer girls transfer to men, it's mostly the other way round . And I feel uncomfortable it's not natural I watched a documentary where you have to get needles and horomnes in to keep the breasts from returning if your female. And get the facial hair growing to look like a man and also I need to cut my hair short which I haven't done yet .

I don't know I just feel so depressed and unhappy all the time about it . I think if it wasn't for my parents I would have cut my hair short . One time I cut it into a Bob and they had a go at me saying it wasn't girly enough. And even now everytime I buy boys clothes from JD my mum has to give me a hard time about it even though it's through my own pocket money from my nan . I'm worried . Is this normal ? I already got so many problems along with this transgender issue . I could end up autistic , ADHD and transgender . It can't get any worse can it. The worst is I don't know if I'm straight anymore as I liked boys before but now I lost interest and whenever I see male models I always fantastie if I changed my gender I would look that good looking . I'm currently awake stressed about it completely .
Original post by Anonymous
Please, no hate .
But I had a serious conversation with my mum which made me very worried . Some days I want to have a boyfriend ( I am a girl but a tomboy one I where boys clothes and play video games and like cars and stereotypical male activities ever since I was 5, I'm 18 now ).... . But at the same time I feel like I am enough of a man myself and that I don't need no man when I can just turn into one . We did talk about surgery , but there are many factors stopping me from actually changing gender . First of all my dad will probably disown me he is very cynical about the LGBTQ movement . He said if I came out as lesbian he would throw me out the house - luckily I wasn't . Even if I did the surgery and he didn't throw me out he probably most likely not talk to me ever again. There's also other issues with my physical features as well , I am quite short and the surgery doesn't change your height either so I will be stuck at 5'5 . And a grown man wouldn't be that short unless I want to end up looking like a 13 year old kid . Also the bullying , I have been bullied for being a tomboy since I was young by both boys and girls many trans people kill themselves because the society don't accept them and fewer girls transfer to men, it's mostly the other way round . And I feel uncomfortable it's not natural I watched a documentary where you have to get needles and horomnes in to keep the breasts from returning if your female. And get the facial hair growing to look like a man and also I need to cut my hair short which I haven't done yet .

I don't know I just feel so depressed and unhappy all the time about it . I think if it wasn't for my parents I would have cut my hair short . One time I cut it into a Bob and they had a go at me saying it wasn't girly enough. And even now everytime I buy boys clothes from JD my mum has to give me a hard time about it even though it's through my own pocket money from my nan . I'm worried . Is this normal ? I already got so many problems along with this transgender issue . I could end up autistic , ADHD and transgender . It can't get any worse can it. The worst is I don't know if I'm straight anymore as I liked boys before but now I lost interest and whenever I see male models I always fantastie if I changed my gender I would look that good looking . I'm currently awake stressed about it completely

My cousin is transgender (Male turning into a female) And I think she’s just as much as a woman as I am and all of the women in the world.And she’s really happy now and has a boyfriend and was proud of the decision that she made. I’d say do whatever makes you happy because a lot of transgender people that get the surgery end up feeling so much better about themselves and are proud of the person that they became and if you truly feel like you’re trapped in the wrong body and want to be a boy then I’d do it if I were in the same situation that you’re in and who cares on what other people think because if you ever get the surgery eventually girls are going to see greatness in you on who you are as a person and one of my girl best friends at my school is dating a boy that’s transgender and me and her and the rest of my friends in my group all see him as a boy and we all think that he’s just as much as a man as all of the other guys in the world so If you really wanna do it then I’d say do it. Embrace it and be the person you wanna be :smile:
yeah bro I totally get you...especially when you said u no longer look at guys as guys you like but guys you wanna be...I felt like that for a very long time. I spend so much time thinking about this. About a year ago I was obsessed with being a guy and thinking about transitioning. Then I realized how unhappy I would be if I transitioned...because theres no possible way for me to be a real guy, and i don't want my already uncomfortable body to feel worse. Also, I don't feel like I am trans because I don't feel like a guy trapped in a girl's body...I acutally feel a lot like a girl, and in my childhood i was very girly. but around 5th and 6th grade when i started developing (early stages) I started dressing more tomboy and I feel uncomfortable in girly clothes. So yeah i just wish i was born a boy sometimes but im not trans. yeah i think i need ur help tooidk if i wish i was a boy only because im in love with them lol. like seriously boys are hottttttttttt. but I don't like the thought of me being with a boy as a super girly girl. Idk...maybe I should just get a boyfriend and see how I feel being girly and stuff, and if im jealous of him...yeah that will be who knows when lol. But i feel like that might be a solution...
Reply 3
Original post by soccerking0000
yeah bro I totally get you...especially when you said u no longer look at guys as guys you like but guys you wanna be...I felt like that for a very long time. I spend so much time thinking about this. About a year ago I was obsessed with being a guy and thinking about transitioning. Then I realized how unhappy I would be if I transitioned...because theres no possible way for me to be a real guy, and i don't want my already uncomfortable body to feel worse. Also, I don't feel like I am trans because I don't feel like a guy trapped in a girl's body...I acutally feel a lot like a girl, and in my childhood i was very girly. but around 5th and 6th grade when i started developing (early stages) I started dressing more tomboy and I feel uncomfortable in girly clothes. So yeah i just wish i was born a boy sometimes but im not trans. yeah i think i need ur help tooidk if i wish i was a boy only because im in love with them lol. like seriously boys are hottttttttttt. but I don't like the thought of me being with a boy as a super girly girl. Idk...maybe I should just get a boyfriend and see how I feel being girly and stuff, and if im jealous of him...yeah that will be who knows when lol. But i feel like that might be a solution...

This thread was a while ago I'm surprised u found it and replied , but anyway update is I am the same as you I think that's perfectly normal - I realised the real reason I started wearing boys clothes was because I was self conscious about my body especially when I started puberty ( I started late at 15) because the men's clothes were less revealing but I still wanted to be a girl at the end of the day and keep my privates and make love to guys you know what I mean etc . I think once you have a boyfriend you will start to feel your girly side come out , I've just started dating someone and I suddenly realised that the girly part of me came back . I think clothes are just clothes and they don't mean anything . You are not alone - I am so annoyed at people always just assuming I am a lesbian but now I have proved them all wrong that tomboys can be straight too just cos I like boys things and find the clothes mode comfortable on my body doesn't men I like women . You probably have gender dysphoria where one is uncomfortable in there own genders body . I realised I wasn't trans as I misinterpreted the definition of what trans was - people said I was cross dressing . Trans is people actually doing the surgery not men or women in the opposite gender clothing but haven't done surgery . It will go away when you date well it has in my experience - doesn't sound useful but I hope it helps . I also like the idea of being a boy because when I was going through a tough time I thought it was easier to be a boy because they are less emotional then girls but I realise that I'm better off as a women as women are better protected in society . So in general I just liked the idea but not enough to transition . It will go away one day o promise good luck
Original post by Anonymous
Please, no hate .
But I had a serious conversation with my mum which made me very worried . Some days I want to have a boyfriend ( I am a girl but a tomboy one I where boys clothes and play video games and like cars and stereotypical male activities ever since I was 5, I'm 18 now ).... . But at the same time I feel like I am enough of a man myself and that I don't need no man when I can just turn into one . We did talk about surgery , but there are many factors stopping me from actually changing gender . First of all my dad will probably disown me he is very cynical about the LGBTQ movement . He said if I came out as lesbian he would throw me out the house - luckily I wasn't . Even if I did the surgery and he didn't throw me out he probably most likely not talk to me ever again. There's also other issues with my physical features as well , I am quite short and the surgery doesn't change your height either so I will be stuck at 5'5 . And a grown man wouldn't be that short unless I want to end up looking like a 13 year old kid . Also the bullying , I have been bullied for being a tomboy since I was young by both boys and girls many trans people kill themselves because the society don't accept them and fewer girls transfer to men, it's mostly the other way round . And I feel uncomfortable it's not natural I watched a documentary where you have to get needles and horomnes in to keep the breasts from returning if your female. And get the facial hair growing to look like a man and also I need to cut my hair short which I haven't done yet .

I don't know I just feel so depressed and unhappy all the time about it . I think if it wasn't for my parents I would have cut my hair short . One time I cut it into a Bob and they had a go at me saying it wasn't girly enough. And even now everytime I buy boys clothes from JD my mum has to give me a hard time about it even though it's through my own pocket money from my nan . I'm worried . Is this normal ? I already got so many problems along with this transgender issue . I could end up autistic , ADHD and transgender . It can't get any worse can it. The worst is I don't know if I'm straight anymore as I liked boys before but now I lost interest and whenever I see male models I always fantastie if I changed my gender I would look that good looking . I'm currently awake stressed about it completely .

So honestly, I am in a very similar situation, I like boys and girls and I'm trying to transition into a guy. Buying boys' clothes isn't weird, if it makes you feel like yourself. My mum is lesbian but she doesn't accept me fully, she says it's weird to transition into a boy just to date one, but i learned that it's okay to love who you love, so I'm fine with it. My dad doesn't accept me at all and he says i'll never be a real boy- which hurts a bit, but I've also learned how to deal with that.. and we have had multiple conversations and he doesn't do it anymore. Bullying is really hard to deal with for me..but music helps a lot and its how i deal with a lot of my emotions. You could try that too :smile: If you don't know what your sexuality is you could always do a bit of searching online until you find something that describes your sexuality.
Anyways, good luck and if you need anything or just want someone to talk to feel free to pm me and I'll message as soon as i can

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