The Student Room Group

Hate my home life.

just kind of want to rant tbh, but if anyone has any advice then I would really appreciate it.

So, my mum is always favouring my younger sister rather than me or my brother. I do everything she asks and when we have any family drama, she’s reliant upon me to fix it, which I try my best to. I’m 23, this isn’t my job. I’m not the parent but I try to do my best.

So my sister is 21, she is always lying to my parents about everything. She never tells them where she is going, sneaks out at night when everyone is sleeping and never responds to their texts or picks up when they call her. She’s stole so much money off my parents and she has so much attitude and has no idea how to speak to anyone, constantly snapping at everyone.

But when she runs off and my mum is stressed out, crying her eyes out and worried af. She depends on me to be there for her. So I’m left to look after her, I understand that my mum needs my support but every few weeks it’s the same thing that happens. She leaves, my mum gets upset, my mum sits there crying her eyes out to me, my sister comes back when she feels like it and doesn’t tell them where she’s been, they’re annoyed with her for a day and then their back to normal again.

I don’t speak to my sister and neither does my brother. I have mental health issues and my sister impacts them bc of all the drama she causes. But when my parents ask her why she leaves, she says bc nobody speaks to me. But that doesn’t explain why she can’t pick the phone up when my parents call her or why she leaves when everyone is asleep.

But then my mum constantly puts pressure on me to speak to her, knowing that I have so much anxiety and my sister triggers it bc of all the conflict she causes. And when my sister is here, my mum doesn’t even wanna know me. Like it feels like sometimes she’s acts like I’m not here and is constantly shouting at me for no reason despite the fact that I do everything she asks when my sister does literally nothing.

I very rarely go out to see my own friends bc I don’t want my mum to be on her own all the time bc no one knows whenever my sister is going to leave again.

And when there’s a family drama or conflict, my mum expects me to sort it out. I’m not my mum and dad there’s only so much people in this house will listen to me. I try to do what I can, but I’m shouted or told I’m in the wrong for not doing enough. I can’t make people listen to me, especially when they don’t look at things from each other’s perspectives.

I’m going uni in September and living at home but I don’t think I’ll even be able to do a degree with the constant drama in my house.

She puts so much pressure on me and expects way more than I can give. Then she is constantly comparing my life to what her life was like when she was younger and then questions why I have so much anxiety. But when I tried to get help before when I was younger and I was cutting, she was against it and got so angry that I had even suggested talking to a professional.

Another thing is that I’m overweight, I know I am but I try to do something about it and fall off the plan every single time bc I feel so stressed that I have no choice but to give into my urges o eat all my fave foods to comfort myself. But I’m constantly pressured to lose weight and I understand why they say it, I know it’s a problem I need to fix. But it’s the way it always said to me. Whenever my mum is angry, it’s bought up all the time. How am I supposed to care about my weight when I don’t even feel like I’m worth spending that much time on myself, when I’m made to feel worthless and not even on the same level as my siblings.

I’m always made to feel like I’m always doing wrong when I try so hard to be the best daughter I can be. I go to bed almost everyday crying, wishing my life would get better. I’ve spent the majority of my life putting my whole families needs above mine without even thinking about it bc that’s what a good daughter is supposed to do, but the ones who can’t even Be honest with her parents is the golden child. I love my parents more than anything, but I don’t think they love me at all. Like why aren’t I enough?
Tbh, that is the same with me. It's the part of life really and I'm the eldest sibling in the family. All those responsibilities, chores, etc. I started learning to iron at the age of 10. I understand your situation, considering that I'm only 15. When I have days like those, I do something that relaxes me, so that I get no distractions:
- listen to music you enjoy from time to time
- doing exercise in your spare time tends to relieve stress
- if you have a journal/diary, write your thoughts to get rid of them and out in the open for yourself
Hope these tips would do well for you, even though they ain't enough! Good luck with your uni degree and all the best for the future.
P.S. I understand your situation and why you think it isn't right. There are people there to support you, like other family members and friends.
Kiran xx

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