Worried about uni

My main concerns are that I won't be able to make any lasting friendships with people. I'm one of those guys who you see out and about maybe at the odd social gathering, you form a "nice guy" kind of opinion and then you forget about him. I've never been around people 24/7, and I don't have any strong friendships. I have friends who I see maybe once a week and that's it. I don't want to miss out on the social side of uni, and I wnat to make friends for life. Any advice on having the best time as possible, and making good friends that will enjoy my company a lot?

I haven't lived as much as other people my age. They go clubbing, they drink every night, are hugely confident and have lots to say, whereas I've been quite sheltered. I don't really do anything exciting and I haven't had many life experiences. I'll say funny things, but not too often. I'll be moving away from home, living by myself etc, and I really want to be the guy I know I can be, and live it up for all its worth. Any advice?

And mods please keep anon as there are obv. people going to the same uni as me and I wouldn't want them recognising this!

Reply 1

apricot

10

I was in the same position as you when i started uni and honestly they are loads of ppl like that at uni. I suggest that you join clubs and societies so u are around ppl with similar interests and they should organise a weekly night out which are always good fun. You are bound to get along with the ppl u will be living with and again u can organise a group night whether it be a night out or a night in watching a film. You will find plently of ppl to get along with.

Reply 2

JDon

Everyone will wanna make new friends at uni, so aslong as you put yourself out there by joining societies/clubs, and going out with the friends you meet (if you have accommodation that's a good start to meeting some mates)

Don;t be so worried, at least you are not moving to the other side of the world to go to uni (my family moved to australia, and im considering going back to u.k for university, so i will be alone :frown:

)

Reply 3

dini139

5

apricot

I was in the same position as you when i started uni and honestly they are loads of ppl like that at uni. I suggest that you join clubs and societies so u are around ppl with similar interests and they should organise a weekly night out which are always good fun. You are bound to get along with the ppl u will be living with and again u can organise a group night whether it be a night out or a night in watching a film. You will find plently of ppl to get along with.

as long as you make the effort to be friendly, you won't go wrong, most people won't know anyone when they get there so its all about talking to as many people as you can, and soon enough you will find people with similar interests. Make an effort in freshers week, because thats the time people are most open to making new friends/meeting people

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

It's not that I'm not friendly, it's that I want to know how to completely be myself and let my inhibitions go. I can't even do it around family. Like I just want to be the fun person that I know I can be, but I don't have the confidence to be it...do you know what I mean? It usually takes a few drinks for me to proper be myself, but I want to do this all the time. I'm not comfortable around people, I always shut down and take the back seat around people.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

hmmm. I think this problem has stuck with you because you expect it, so therefore become shy and withdrawn and that makes it harder for people to approach you.

uni is a great oppurtunity for a new start. Nobody knows you there so they wont see you and think of you as the 'quiet boy' or anything. i'm not sayin force it and pretend to be loud and confident because things like that take time and are a gradual progress. Not being shallow, but lookin good makes you feel good to be confident. maybe spice yourself up sumhow.. trendy new clothes or whatever!!!
then jus be friendly and welcoming.. remember everybody at uni is in tha same situation..they all want new friends!

try to contain any excited outbursts if ur social skills are stil progressin!!good luck darlin! xxxx

Reply 6

gemma2626

This time last year I was absolutely terrified about starting uni. The idea of moving away from friends and family and having to live with completely new people and make new friends scared me to death, I'd had the same friends my whole life and had never needed to make any new ones, I wasn't sure I even knew how to anymore! But sometimes you realise that you're making things sound 1000x times worse in your head and you're expecting the worst to happen, but I promise it's gonna be no where near as bad as you're expecting. I remember my first day when I moved into halls and met my flat mates and stuff and I was sooo scared. Being an extremely shy, quiet person I just really wanted to make a good first impression. But you realise that you're all in the same boat... everyone else is feeling the exact same way as you. Everybody is extremely friendly because you're all scared and not sure what to do, so you become friends automatically through the fact you're all worried. That's what happened to me on my first day! I plucked up some courage to go into the kitchen where the others were and you just say 'Hi im ____' and you all just start talking about where you're from and what you're studying and stuff and you all just tend to stick together from then on... go on nights out together, walk around campus and explore together etc. After my first day I was laughing at myself for worrying so much. Uni is no where near as scary as you think I promise. I almost didn't go out of fear of not making friends etc but looking back it's been the best year of my entire life and I've come out of my shell so much and met so many amazing people who will be in my life forever. Trust me it will be incredible

Reply 7

gul11and

4

Im the same as you except I never see my friends.

Hopefully uni will have a better society. People at college were stuck up

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