Understanding boyfriends

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iamboredashell94
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#1
Report Thread starter 8 months ago
#1
Does my boyfriend get me?

I dont always feel like my boyfriend understands me. For example, when we argue because i was hurt by something, i have to explain to him why i was hurt. I try to look at the arguement from his perspective too which helps me understand him, but im not sure if he does the same. Our arguements are usually over something that doesnt really need to be fought about, which i only realize after he lets me explain my feelings and lets me cool down.
If our arguements get more personal and the issue is about the relationship, he tends to leave for a bit when he is upset (only if our argument is over text) or, if i am actually with him, he refuses to leave me until i am home safe (he walks me home after school, yes we are teens).
However, i do appreciate the fact that he knows what i am feeling by the way i talk and act. I just feel like he doesnt truly understand me on deeper levels, such as my anxiety, or family pressures. I get that he doesnt experience these, so can't really help me that much, or can he? I know how much he hates his mother smoking in the house, and since i cant relate i dont exactly know how to help him either, is this okay?
We both really like eachother, and i feel like our relationship is much more mature than other couples of our age. We've been dating for almost a year, have the mostly the same values, similar interests, mutual friends etc. As well as the fact we've been good friends since we first met.
He has told me to follow my heart, but i cant help but search up different things like, ‘are we compatible' or like ‘does he truly get me'. Is this wrong of me to do? When i am with him i feel content and safe, yet i still do these things. I think doing this has lead me to have expectations of what he should do, and if i feel like he is not living up to those expectations i feel worried, because i do not want to break up with him. We are on the same page for most things, even our future, and this is quite rare and very special so i'd like to hold onto this relationship.
I understand that women are just naturally more emotional than men, and if you have any thoughts about this situation so i can understand our relationship better, i would really appreciate it.
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LovelyMrFox
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Report 8 months ago
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Have you just started feeling these things in lockdown?
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carrotlover
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#3
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you dont always have to know how to help with your s/o problems. if you dont know how to help just make sure he knows your there. just be there yk and make sure he does the same. but as the other person asked have you just started feeling this way during lockdown?
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iamboredashell94
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Report Thread starter 8 months ago
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Ive only started thinking about this during lockdown, but the events thats happened were before lockdown started.
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Anonymous #1
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Report 8 months ago
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Have you just started feeling these things in lockdown?
I wanna be your friend lol
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 8 months ago
#6
hi, yes the same things happen with me also. my boyfriend doesn't even want to understand me. he also cannot confront me. if I try to explain what went wrong he readily accept because he don't me to get angry with him, also sont want to accept what was wrong with him.

and. the new thing is just brilliant

what he does now is that first he gets angry at me for no reason and when I am about to start an argument, he starts saying that he is quite disturbed nowadays and being aggressive was not what he meant
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Laserquest28
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playing victim card!!!
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iamboredashell94
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#8
Report Thread starter 8 months ago
#8
(Original post by Laserquest28)
playing victim card!!!
Totally agree
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LovelyMrFox
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#9
Report 8 months ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
I wanna be your friend lol
Ok pm me
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