The Student Room Group

Exploring sexuality

This is quite a pointless thread but lockdown has made me gone a bit mad and I’m drunk right now.

For a few years, I’ve been questioning myself. I am probably 100% straight but at the same time I’m not. I have never had a gf, Even though I’m at my mid-late 20s, yet I’ve slept with various women*. I sometimes think I am asexual because I have never had a gf and that I just seek sexual desires.

That star on women is noted. I had an ongoing ‘friend with benefits’ with a trans girl and I have slept with another trans woman. I remember the first time I found the girl I was sleeping was trans, I was so angry, but I was so scared to leave the room, I decided to close my eyes and imagine I’m ‘with a real woman’ which I know She wasn’t a really a girl.

The second trans woman was hot polish girl I met around Christmas 2019, I didn’t want to do it but she was hot so I closed my eyes again... She would later ignore my texts after this though.

Now what sexuality is this? I don’t seek trans yet I don’t mind sleeping with one. I have banterly experimented with a guy but not recent (like 2 years ago)
Asexual refers to little or no sexual desires. If you only have sex and no relationship, You’re probably closer to aromantic in regards to that. Also you saying the trans women “wasn’t really a girl” is a little problematic so I’d rephrase that in future if I were you. I’m no expert but from what you described could possibly be Pansexuality. Being Pansexual means you’re not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. Hope it helped. But since you probably have the time rn, I’d advise you to look up the different sexualities. If you want to identify with one and find a label, I’d do that.
Reply 2
Wow. Your saying trans women arent real women?... Yikes man.
I mean you dont need to configure to a label. They can be stressful and pointless. If you want one go for it, but its not required or anything.
Reply 3
Original post by LovelyMrFox
Wow. Your saying trans women arent real women?... Yikes man.
I mean you dont need to configure to a label. They can be stressful and pointless. If you want one go for it, but its not required or anything.

I mean i don't want to cause any offence or any phobia. But they are not women

Yeah i hate labels, i think i find myself weird, looking back, that i have done this considering i'm from a very backward culture (i'm originally african...)
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
I mean i don't want to cause any offence or any phobia. But they are not women

Yeah i hate labels, i think i find myself weird, looking back, that i have done this considering i'm from a very backward culture (i'm originally african...)

Please go do your research on transgender individuals.
Thats cool, you do not have to use labels.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Asexual refers to little or no sexual desires. If you only have sex and no relationship, You’re probably closer to aromantic in regards to that. Also you saying the trans women “wasn’t really a girl” is a little problematic so I’d rephrase that in future if I were you. I’m no expert but from what you described could possibly be Pansexuality. Being Pansexual means you’re not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. Hope it helped. But since you probably have the time rn, I’d advise you to look up the different sexualities. If you want to identify with one and find a label, I’d do that.

I think this. I think i am pansexual but at the same the label of it is questionable

I don't know, i have a confession, when i did the first time with the trans girl, i felt sick but then i got cravings and continued doing it for 2 months with her
Trans women are women. You didn’t even realise she was trans, and then you get mad when you find out? All humans were born as children, that doesn’t make you a pedophile, does it? Why does it matter what genitals she was born with?

But that’s beside the point. It doesn’t matter if you’re not fully comfortable with your labels yet. You don’t have to decide, nobody is pressuring you. Take your time, experiment, figure it out.

Also, you would be aromantic, not asexual.
Original post by Anonymous
I think this. I think i am pansexual but at the same the label of it is questionable

I don't know, i have a confession, when i did the first time with the trans girl, i felt sick but then i got cravings and continued doing it for 2 months with her


There is no need for any labels. You don’t need to explain yourself. And there is also no need for you to be ashamed of having sex with a transgender woman. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or feel sick over
Original post by Anonymous
There is no need for any labels. You don’t need to explain yourself. And there is also no need for you to be ashamed of having sex with a transgender woman. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or feel sick over

I quite agree that there is nothing wrong with it whatsoever. The part I would question is the 'judgement' on his reaction. He is perfectly entitled to feel sick by the thought of having sex with a trans woman, just as a homosexual may feel about heterosexual sex. We can't control those deep inner, reactionary thoughts and feelings. I am heterosexual but couldn't bring myself to have sex with a trans woman, and that's ok. It's just not what I'm into.
Original post by Apachecow
I quite agree that there is nothing wrong with it whatsoever. The part I would question is the 'judgement' on his reaction. He is perfectly entitled to feel sick by the thought of having sex with a trans woman, just as a homosexual may feel about heterosexual sex. We can't control those deep inner, reactionary thoughts and feelings. I am heterosexual but couldn't bring myself to have sex with a trans woman, and that's ok. It's just not what I'm into.


Completely agree. It wasn’t meant to come across as judgemental. I just wanted to say it’s not something to be ashamed of and I just initially assumed he was feeling sick because ‘she’s a trans girl’ and because ‘she’s not a real woman’. I guess there is psychological meanings behind it but he did keep doing it
Try to view your sexuality as fluid and that you just see a person; you don’t focus on their genitals. You don’t have to label yourself - just be with whoever you want to be with. You like who you like. be safe

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