Halls group chat at uni, what should I do?

I've joined some uni group chats recently: accommodation, course and a general business school group chat. I made the one for our course and there's not a lot of people in it yet but so far, everyone is nice. I like the business school one, i don't talk a lot in it but there's banter. When i joined my accommodation one, the first thing they asked me was where i got the invite link from - no hi, no welcome or anything. All they talk about is drinking and sex and as a person who's a virgin and has only drank a few times and never got drunk i feel really left out. They were just talking about having a shag chart in every flat. Honestly, I am not ready to have sex - i value emotional connection in a relationship and sex is something i would only do if I'm serious about them. The last thing I want is people keeping track of how many people I shagged. Should I switch my accommodation to somewhere else? Has anyone gained anything out of being in these group chats?

Reply 1

studentam

6

You shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything, in my first year accommodation it was so big you never even see anyone except your room mates. There’s lots of different characters and personalities at uni, don’t worry if you don’t find friends straight away. It took me till my second year ..

Reply 2

University of Portsmouth Student Rep

Official Rep

16

Original post by Anonymous

I've joined some uni group chats recently: accommodation, course and a general business school group chat. I made the one for our course and there's not a lot of people in it yet but so far, everyone is nice. I like the business school one, i don't talk a lot in it but there's banter. When i joined my accommodation one, the first thing they asked me was where i got the invite link from - no hi, no welcome or anything. All they talk about is drinking and sex and as a person who's a virgin and has only drank a few times and never got drunk i feel really left out. They were just talking about having a shag chart in every flat. Honestly, I am not ready to have sex - i value emotional connection in a relationship and sex is something i would only do if I'm serious about them. The last thing I want is people keeping track of how many people I shagged. Should I switch my accommodation to somewhere else? Has anyone gained anything out of being in these group chats?

Hey!

This was very similar in my group chat for the building, but I soon realised that the people who usually speak in these massive group chats are the louder more outgoing people, and arent the majority if that makes sense. There are hundreds upon hundreds in these buildings and only a certain few that speak in these group chats. I spotted certain people around the building now again (from the group chat) but didn't interact with any of them, ever.

In my personal experience, I didn't know anyone that actually talked in the accommodation group chat. We had a separate one for our own flat and one with another flat that we were close with. I wouldn't worry too much and would definitely say to try it out before you make any decisions to change accommodation because It could be completely different then you are expecting.

Also, again, my personal experience, I find people try to 'big themselves up' in group chats before meeting people, and act a lot differently if that makes sense :rolleyes:

Courtney - Official Student Rep :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I purposely didn't join any group chats before uni because I tend to get along with quieter people and thought they also wouldn't be talking on the group chats. When I got there I didn't feel left out as a few people also hadn't joined the group chats, and quickly everyone became friends.
Also lots of people join university as virgins, and lots don't. No one really cares what you do as long as you're nice.

Reply 4

04MR17

Volunteer Section Leader

22

Original post by Anonymous

I've joined some uni group chats recently: accommodation, course and a general business school group chat. I made the one for our course and there's not a lot of people in it yet but so far, everyone is nice. I like the business school one, i don't talk a lot in it but there's banter. When i joined my accommodation one, the first thing they asked me was where i got the invite link from - no hi, no welcome or anything. All they talk about is drinking and sex and as a person who's a virgin and has only drank a few times and never got drunk i feel really left out. They were just talking about having a shag chart in every flat. Honestly, I am not ready to have sex - i value emotional connection in a relationship and sex is something i would only do if I'm serious about them. The last thing I want is people keeping track of how many people I shagged. Should I switch my accommodation to somewhere else? Has anyone gained anything out of being in these group chats?

Hiya, just so you know I've edited your thread title slightly to make it a little bit clearer what this thread is about. Sometimes TSR gets users advertising group chats on here, which isn't complaint with the safeguarding policy on the site - so I thought it would help to edit this so that nobody got confused. :smile:

Hope this is okay. :colondollar:

Reply 5

Academicbee123

20

I feel the same. The group chats I’m in are overly sexual and solely focused on sex, drugs and alcohol. I can’t really relate so I’ve just muted the chats haha. I’m just hoping I’ll find my sort of people when I get to uni and I’m trying not to worry about it right now.

Reply 6

RandomTennisfan

15

You should feel ready when you’re ready, particularly in first year people want to be try and be impressionable by talking about sexual things. Wouldn’t stress too much, over time you may find people more to your liking.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by University of Portsmouth Student Rep

Hey!

This was very similar in my group chat for the building, but I soon realised that the people who usually speak in these massive group chats are the louder more outgoing people, and arent the majority if that makes sense. There are hundreds upon hundreds in these buildings and only a certain few that speak in these group chats. I spotted certain people around the building now again (from the group chat) but didn't interact with any of them, ever.

In my personal experience, I didn't know anyone that actually talked in the accommodation group chat. We had a separate one for our own flat and one with another flat that we were close with. I wouldn't worry too much and would definitely say to try it out before you make any decisions to change accommodation because It could be completely different then you are expecting.

Also, again, my personal experience, I find people try to 'big themselves up' in group chats before meeting people, and act a lot differently if that makes sense :rolleyes:

Courtney - Official Student Rep :smile:

Thank you

. This has made me feel a lot better.
thank you

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Academicbee123

I feel the same. The group chats I’m in are overly sexual and solely focused on sex, drugs and alcohol. I can’t really relate so I’ve just muted the chats haha. I’m just hoping I’ll find my sort of people when I get to uni and I’m trying not to worry about it right now.