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I'm transgender AMA

I'm transgender (ftm) and I'm 18 years old. I came out shortly after my 14th birthday, but I've known since I was 12. I'm happy to answer most questions, even personal ones, so long as you ask politely

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When you were growing up did you like to do things typically associated with the other gender, such as wearing dresses or playing football?
Have you had any surgical changes? Have you changed what sex organ you have?
How has your dating / relationship aspect of your life changed? Would you tell someone that you are transgender on the first date? Do you think it's unfair for your partner if you don't tell them or keep it a secret?
What is something you think cisgender people often misinterpret about transgender people?
What do you consider as your sexuality? Are you infertile?
If a man is transitioning to a woman, do they usually have breast surgery and hair extensions?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm transgender (ftm) and I'm 18 years old. I came out shortly after my 14th birthday, but I've known since I was 12. I'm happy to answer most questions, even personal ones, so long as you ask politely

Did transitioning make you happier???
Reply 3
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
When you were growing up did you like to do things typically associated with the other gender, such as wearing dresses or playing football?

I was assigned female at birth and growing up I was never very girl-y? I usually wore trousers and when I wore skirts or dresses they were always black. I didn't totally reject femininity- for years I had hair down to my waist- but I did reject the idea of being a girl myself. I wasn't allowed to play football as I went to an all-girls school until I was 11, which was very difficult for me (the school, not the lack of football). I was even a member of girl guides! It was only really when I went to a mixed school that I realised why I was so angsty all the time, although that was probably more due to puberty.
Original post by Anonymous
I was assigned female at birth and growing up I was never very girl-y? I usually wore trousers and when I wore skirts or dresses they were always black. I didn't totally reject femininity- for years I had hair down to my waist- but I did reject the idea of being a girl myself. I wasn't allowed to play football as I went to an all-girls school until I was 11, which was very difficult for me (the school, not the lack of football). I was even a member of girl guides! It was only really when I went to a mixed school that I realised why I was so angsty all the time, although that was probably more due to puberty.

Would you consider yourself as male now then?
Reply 5
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
Have you had any surgical changes? Have you changed what sex organ you have?

No; I don't take testosterone (yet) and I haven't had any surgery. I plan to take hormones and have surgery to remove my breasts, but don't plan to have "bottom surgery" as I don't think that the current methods produce realistic enough results.
Original post by Anonymous
No; I don't take testosterone (yet) and I haven't had any surgery. I plan to take hormones and have surgery to remove my breasts, but don't plan to have "bottom surgery" as I don't think that the current methods produce realistic enough results.

Okay sorry if this sounds rude but you still have a vagina then?
Please rate the trans flag out of 10 with an explanation as to your reasoning [4 marks] :biggrin:
Reply 8
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
How has your dating / relationship aspect of your life changed? Would you tell someone that you are transgender on the first date? Do you think it's unfair for your partner if you don't tell them or keep it a secret?

It actually hasn't been impacted as much as I thought. When I came out I was in a relationship with a cis boy (we were only a month into the relationship and he took it well) and we ended up staying together for another year and a half. I later had a 6 month relationship with a cis girl and am now almost two and a half years into a relationship with a non-binary person.

I do find that it's impacted my self-esteem a little, as I see myself as romantically undesirable, but I'm coming to accept the fact that it's mostly in my head, rather than a reflection of reality.

I would tell someone that I'm transgender if I thought that it was important (probably on the first date tbh), but not if the first date was going badly as they'd never have to know.

I think that individuals are entitled to their identity- it can be very difficult for someone with gender dysphoria to navigate relationships because they want to be honest but don't want to be defined by their genitals. It's up to the individual- I wouldn't mind not knowing my partner was trans, but at the same time I would always tell a romantic partner.
Original post by Anonymous
No; I don't take testosterone (yet) and I haven't had any surgery. I plan to take hormones and have surgery to remove my breasts, but don't plan to have "bottom surgery" as I don't think that the current methods produce realistic enough results.

I know this sounds a little crazy, but if one day they where able to create really realistic penuses, maybe out of stem cells, would you want one?
Original post by Anonymous
What is something you think cisgender people often misinterpret about transgender people?

I think that people always assume transgender people will conform to binary gender stereotypes. As I've said, I identify as male, but I haven't rejected everything feminine. If it were socially acceptable, I'd like to wear skirts and dresses sometimes, although I doubt I will because I want to pass. I'm also happy with/without "bottom surgery", which some people don't accept.
Original post by Anonymous
What do you consider as your sexuality? Are you infertile?
If a man is transitioning to a woman, do they usually have breast surgery and hair extensions?

I'm pansexual/bisexual- I don't really use labels but I have the potential to be attracted to anyone of a similar age to me (note the word potential; I'm actually rather selective). I am not infertile because I am not currently taking hormones and have not had surgery, but taking hormones will make me infertile for as long as I take them.

It really depends on the individual and I honestly don't really know, sorry.

Thank you for being so polite! Hope I could help!
Original post by glassalice
Did transitioning make you happier???

This is such a lovely question! Just to clarify, I haven't physically transitioned (no hormones/surgery) but I have socially transitioned. It took longer than I expected for people to come to terms with it- its been over 4 years and I still frequently get mis-gendered, not always accidentally- but I'm definitely so much happier. Legally changing my name with the permission of my parents really helped me to realise how far I've come and I couldn't imagine my life if I were still a girl.
Original post by Anonymous
Would you consider yourself as male now then?


Yes, I am a boy (technically a man I guess but that sounds weird to me)
Reply 14
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octo
15
Original post by Anonymous
When you were growing up did you like to do things typically associated with the other gender, such as wearing dresses or playing football?
Have you had any surgical changes? Have you changed what sex organ you have?
How has your dating / relationship aspect of your life changed? Would you tell someone that you are transgender on the first date? Do you think it's unfair for your partner if you don't tell them or keep it a secret?
What is something you think cisgender people often misinterpret about transgender people?
What do you consider as your sexuality? Are you infertile?
If a man is transitioning to a woman, do they usually have breast surgery and hair extensions?

For your last question: some trans women will have breast augmentation done, but if they're taking estrogen then their breasts will also grow naturally, so it's not a given thing. Same with hair growth versus extensions -- and it's also good to remember that many trans women, same as cis women, might want short hair anyway!
Original post by Anonymous
Okay sorry if this sounds rude but you still have a vagina then?

It's okay, this is an AMA after all! I appreciate you asking politely; yes, have the traditional female sex organs.
Original post by glassalice
I know this sounds a little crazy, but if one day they where able to create really realistic penuses, maybe out of stem cells, would you want one?

If they were totally realistic then yes, I definitely would, so long as it had all the functionality
Reply 17
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octo
15
Original post by Anonymous
I'm transgender (ftm) and I'm 18 years old. I came out shortly after my 14th birthday, but I've known since I was 12. I'm happy to answer most questions, even personal ones, so long as you ask politely

Hey OP! This has been a really brave and good AMA. Thank you for helping educate the people of TSR. Here are some useless questions!

What are your hobbies?
What's your favourite song?
What's your typical Subway order? (if you don't like subway... I'm sorry)
What's the best meme you have saved on your phone? (if any)
What changes (if any) are you hoping for / expecting from the government's review of the Gender Recognition Act?
Original post by CoolCavy
Please rate the trans flag out of 10 with an explanation as to your reasoning [4 marks] :biggrin:

7, maybe 7.5? I'm not really a fan of pastel colours and to some extent I think that it plays into the whole "blue is male, pink is female" thing BUT I respect Monica Helms and the history of the community. Personally I prefer the non-binary and genderqueer flags though. (love the question btw)

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