Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

i want to move out, but...

So I have been living back at home for almost a year after returning from living abroad, I was planning to stay at home so I could spend more time with my family while I get my degree before I finally return back to living abroad. Just one problem, my Mum is incredibly abusive in many ways and it is affecting me mentally.

Basically, just to give you folks a general idea of what she is like. She has no friends or family that speak to her, her own daughter (my sister) had a baby around a month ago and hasn't even contacted her once, same with her other son (my brother), does not contact her at all. She is manipulative, likes to blame her problems on everyone else, is money driven (she applied to go to university after asking how much money I am getting from student finance, she is unemployed and on benefits), she is also lazy and selfish. Her biggest problem is that she is a hoarder and will not admit it, my clothes are still in the suitcase I came back with and it is a struggle to do daily tasks because of all the extra clutter surrounding everything, for example it takes around 20 minutes just to prepare to take a bath... The bath is full of random objects and one of the taps is broken so it takes longer to fill the bath up.

It has gotten to the point for me where I get out of bed at 4pm, it is affecting my university work, my social life, I just do not feel welcome at all in this house. The latest incident was that she has taken the oven gloves away because I was not putting them "away" properly, and because of that I have managed to burn myself cooking food for everyone, and now I refuse to cook because of no oven gloves she is gotten more hostile towards me. She called me autistic because I told her she has a problem with hoarding and needs to seek help, apparently my school thought so too, but I find it strange that I was never taken to the doctors to get tested.

Anyway, for some reason I feel hesitant to move out, even though I know it would do wonders for me. It is like I feel afraid to take the actual step. I do have a little brother who lives here, his life is not exactly going well, he sleeps literally all the time right now, I'd imagine it is a sign of depression, as when he is awake he is not allowed to do anything remotely fun and he gets shouted at a lot for random nonsensical things like it was for me when I was that age. Basically, my Mum is a awful parent.

There are a lot more things that I could go over, but I'll leave it there for now. I'm just venting basically, I'm stressed.

TLDR: My Mum is abusive, I want to move out because of that but I am hesitant.

Reply 1

HallieMarie

You need to leave that environment. I know you are worried about your brother but maybe you having a place of your own will help him knowing he somewhere to escape to, even for a few hours. I'm sorry you are going through this. Personally, I would leave as soon as I was able because it's going to bring you right down and your mental health will deteriorate.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by HallieMarie

Yeah I think you are completely right, I shouldn't stay here any longer. I'm really not happy here, every day just seems like another battle when I should be feeling comfortable and happy.