Bf doesn't want an open relationship

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 6 months ago
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I asked why he doesn't want an open relationship and he said he doesn't want an open relationship because he doesn't want me on another person's ****, I asked why and he couldn't give a reason. We're 19. I thought people in this day and age would be happy with open relationships.

(Some background info, we used to be super close but now we're really not and he admitted I just serve the purpose of cuddling, sexual stuff and hanging out sometimes, but he won't end the relationship, so I said why can't I do this with other people too, since he's not very committed and doesn't have strong feelings anymore so why should I be exclusive and give him more than he gives me? Why should he always choose what sort of relationship we have?)

Why would he not want to have an open relationship when he doesn't really care about our relationship?
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StriderHort
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Dunno.
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Ciel.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I asked why he doesn't want an open relationship and he said he doesn't want an open relationship because he doesn't want me on another person's ****, I asked why and he couldn't give a reason. We're 19. I thought people in this day and age would be happy with open relationships.

(Some background info, we used to be super close but now we're really not and he admitted I just serve the purpose of cuddling, sexual stuff and hanging out sometimes, but he won't end the relationship, so I said why can't I do this with other people too, since he's not very committed and doesn't have strong feelings anymore so why should I be exclusive and give him more than he gives me? Why should he always choose what sort of relationship we have?)

Why would he not want to have an open relationship when he doesn't really care about our relationship?
i have the exact same problem with my bf tbh. there are only 2 solutions: break up or start cheating on him. nothing you say to him will make him change his mind.
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ChrisW99
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He doesn't want to be a cuck.
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MidgetFever
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"He won't end the relationship"

You know you have the option to leave too, right?
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Alexty28
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I asked why he doesn't want an open relationship and he said he doesn't want an open relationship because he doesn't want me on another person's ****, I asked why and he couldn't give a reason. We're 19. I thought people in this day and age would be happy with open relationships.

(Some background info, we used to be super close but now we're really not and he admitted I just serve the purpose of cuddling, sexual stuff and hanging out sometimes, but he won't end the relationship, so I said why can't I do this with other people too, since he's not very committed and doesn't have strong feelings anymore so why should I be exclusive and give him more than he gives me? Why should he always choose what sort of relationship we have?)

Why would he not want to have an open relationship when he doesn't really care about our relationship?
Funnily enough not everyone today likes their partner getting ****ed by someone else. I had open relationship and I just ended up hurting my girlfriend at the time so we decided to stop.

Also if you wanna **** other people just break up with him.
Last edited by Alexty28; 6 months ago
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Alexty28)
Funnily enough not everyone today likes their partner getting ****ed by someone else. I had open relationship and I just ended up hurting my girlfriend at the time so we decided to stop.
Yeah it's funny how many of these mature, considerate well thought out open relationships with clear rules and boundaries go right out the window in a smash of venom the second someones comes home smelling of someone else :rolleyes:
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Ciel.)
i have the exact same problem with my bf tbh. there are only 2 solutions: break up or start cheating on him. nothing you say to him will make him change his mind.
Why on earth would you want to be doing things with another guy!? Is one not enough to satisfy you??

I am 16 and I do things with my gf but I could never do things with someone else, it just doesn't make sense if you really and truly love the other person
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Why on earth would you want to be doing things with another guy!? Is one not enough to satisfy you??

I am 16 and I do things with my gf but I could never do things with someone else, it just doesn't make sense if you really and truly love the other person
At the obvious risk of being patronising, at 16 your view will be a bit limited.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Ciel.)
i have the exact same problem with my bf tbh. there are only 2 solutions: break up or start cheating on him. nothing you say to him will make him change his mind.
You go girl. **** men am I right.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You go girl. **** men am I right.
What do you mean??
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by StriderHort)
At the obvious risk of being patronising, at 16 your view will be a bit limited.
What was wrong about what I said? All I said was that sex is something for two people to enjoy as a couple
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Moose-er
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Most people don't want an open relationship , just because open relationships are more prevalent doesn't mean people will be happy with being in one, He doesn't want an open relationship because to him even a low effort relationship requires exclusivity. I'd say your best bet is to break up with him because clearly your unhappy
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What was wrong about what I said? All I said was that sex is something for two people to enjoy as a couple
I didn't say it's wrong, it's just a somewhat limiting view. I think you'll genuinely find sex can be something for all sorts of matches to enjoy. Monogamy is just kinda the default.
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Alexty28
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Totally agree, why would you do more than one guy unless you were a slut or something?
Its not being "slutty". However the decision to be in an open relationship takes two. Otherwise it is just **** for the other person and emotionally taxing. And if you are not mature enough to accept that then just break up. People act just because we live in more sexually open society people's feeling suddenly have no worth. The OP saying "We're 19. I thought people in this day and age would be happy with open relationships" just shows arrogance and lack of respect for her partner.
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Anonymous #4
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Dump him or don’t **** others. Don’t be a ****. Open relationships and absolutely awful.

Just dump him.
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Alexty28
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(Original post by Moose-er)
Most people don't want an open relationship , just because open relationships are more prevalent doesn't mean people will be happy with being in one, He doesn't want an open relationship because to him even a low effort relationship requires exclusivity. I'd say your best bet is to break up with him because clearly your unhappy
You get it.
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Anonymous #2
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You are telling me that "actual grown ups" have sex with more than one partner?

That is just wrong. If it is somewhere like a strip club then that's fine, or if it's a prostitute.

But if it is genuinely feelings based and you are wanting to have proper "love" and "emotional" sex, then it should be left to just one partner otherwise you are being a player.
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amingo26
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That is just wrong. If it is somewhere like a strip club then that's fine, or if it's a prostitute.
So, its fine for 'actual grown ups' to have sex with someone else as long as it's in a strip club or with a prostitute in your opinion?
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Anonymous #2
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But imagine the rivalry between the two men, they would be constantly paranoid about which is better and if she will leave on for the other
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