Is it ever right to snoop through partners phone?
Hey,
I was having this discussion with my partner over the weekend, and we both had very different opinions.
My argument was that if you had reason to believe your partner was cheating, snooping through their phone was justified. My partner argued that you would just approach them and ask them outright or express your concerns, but my argument is that if they are cheating on you, it’s highly unlikely that they are going to admit it if you can’t present them with evidence... they are cheating after all, so what’s to say they wouldn’t lie about other things?
On the flip side, is it strange when couples actively allow their partners to use and go through their phone? These days our phones have become like an external brain of ours, and we keep many personal things on them... is it right for someone to have that amount of access to you / your mind?
Interested to know what people think!
I was having this discussion with my partner over the weekend, and we both had very different opinions.
My argument was that if you had reason to believe your partner was cheating, snooping through their phone was justified. My partner argued that you would just approach them and ask them outright or express your concerns, but my argument is that if they are cheating on you, it’s highly unlikely that they are going to admit it if you can’t present them with evidence... they are cheating after all, so what’s to say they wouldn’t lie about other things?
On the flip side, is it strange when couples actively allow their partners to use and go through their phone? These days our phones have become like an external brain of ours, and we keep many personal things on them... is it right for someone to have that amount of access to you / your mind?
Interested to know what people think!
I think if you suspect someone is cheating, you should just ask them. If they say no, ask them if they mind you looking through their phone just to be sure. If they say you can, there generally shouldn't be anything to worry about, if they say you don't, this then gives you reason to suspect they're cheating even more and that discussion needs to open up. I don't believe that going behind your partner's back to check their phone is justified, you're with that person for a reason and if you can't have the conversation with them around infidelity then you generally shouldn't be with them. Communication is really important, and checking things behind their back breaks down that level of trust and may encourage them to cheat anyway.
I'd openly give my partner my password to my phone just so they're comfortable in knowing they have access to what I'm doing, but I wouldn't appreciate them always requesting to go onto my phone. Again, if they can't trust me then I shouldn't be in a relationship with them
I'd openly give my partner my password to my phone just so they're comfortable in knowing they have access to what I'm doing, but I wouldn't appreciate them always requesting to go onto my phone. Again, if they can't trust me then I shouldn't be in a relationship with them
Original post by Anonymous
Hey,
I was having this discussion with my partner over the weekend, and we both had very different opinions.
My argument was that if you had reason to believe your partner was cheating, snooping through their phone was justified. My partner argued that you would just approach them and ask them outright or express your concerns, but my argument is that if they are cheating on you, it’s highly unlikely that they are going to admit it if you can’t present them with evidence... they are cheating after all, so what’s to say they wouldn’t lie about other things?
On the flip side, is it strange when couples actively allow their partners to use and go through their phone? These days our phones have become like an external brain of ours, and we keep many personal things on them... is it right for someone to have that amount of access to you / your mind?
Interested to know what people think!
I was having this discussion with my partner over the weekend, and we both had very different opinions.
My argument was that if you had reason to believe your partner was cheating, snooping through their phone was justified. My partner argued that you would just approach them and ask them outright or express your concerns, but my argument is that if they are cheating on you, it’s highly unlikely that they are going to admit it if you can’t present them with evidence... they are cheating after all, so what’s to say they wouldn’t lie about other things?
On the flip side, is it strange when couples actively allow their partners to use and go through their phone? These days our phones have become like an external brain of ours, and we keep many personal things on them... is it right for someone to have that amount of access to you / your mind?
Interested to know what people think!
Couples have to agree.
Some couples look through each others phones and are fine with it.
Others like their privacy to be respected, which means they do not like people rifling through their things and being checked up on. It doesnt mean they are hiding anything, just they like their own space.
Is it ever right to invade that persons privacy and even though you know they expect it to remain private you look through?.
In some situations I can expect you will and then youd better hope you find something for invading that privacy. If you suspect cheating then try and get evidence from other sources first. If you go through with it and dont find any answers then the trust has gone and you may split. I wouldnt cross that boundary unless it was very serious and you had very good reason to do so.
Me and my partner regularly go on each others phones, not in a snooping way we just have no secrets so don't mind it. E.g. If I have to google something I'll grab his phone if it's closest, or if he's driving and gets a message he'll ask me to check it and vice versa.
Surely if you are comfortable with something their should be no issue with going on each others phone. Whilst I don't snoop through his messages I think I would feel uncomfortable if he wasn't willing to let me use his phone, it would make me concerned that there is something on there.
On the other hand if I came into the room and he was just reading through all my emails without asking I might find that a bit odd. We generally warn each other if we are about to look at their phone e.g. I'm using your phone to call john etc. or a message just came through from michael do you want me to open it.
Surely if you are comfortable with something their should be no issue with going on each others phone. Whilst I don't snoop through his messages I think I would feel uncomfortable if he wasn't willing to let me use his phone, it would make me concerned that there is something on there.
On the other hand if I came into the room and he was just reading through all my emails without asking I might find that a bit odd. We generally warn each other if we are about to look at their phone e.g. I'm using your phone to call john etc. or a message just came through from michael do you want me to open it.
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