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Relationship Problems 2

He's telling me like i dont have any plans about our relationship. That i always keep telling him about my past experience (not past relationship experience). What i mean is telling him about how my bad days in school before, my happy moments with my friends, my dad when he is in ICU, my siblings arguements and so on.

Our conversation goes on like that. I question him about his experience too. What he was when he is in school. After he graduate, like that.

And everytime i ran out of topic, i keep asking him to say something. Like random stuff. And he says "nah, i have nothing to say"

I feel hurt sometimes when he says that. Like cant he just say something random???

And now hes mad because what always came in my mouth is all about my experience. I mean the reason why i rarely talk about our future plan for our relationship becasue, i am still in my last tear of college. Im not like him who has stable income, im not like him who has job. I cant just tell him about my plans for our relationship because im shy. I Dont have a job im just a student. My goal is to graduate and have stable job in the future. And focus on my mom and my lil sister to give them a better life.

I dont know :frown:
Reply 1
Original post by itsluckytal
He's telling me like i dont have any plans about our relationship. That i always keep telling him about my past experience (not past relationship experience). What i mean is telling him about how my bad days in school before, my happy moments with my friends, my dad when he is in ICU, my siblings arguements and so on.

Our conversation goes on like that. I question him about his experience too. What he was when he is in school. After he graduate, like that.

And everytime i ran out of topic, i keep asking him to say something. Like random stuff. And he says "nah, i have nothing to say"

I feel hurt sometimes when he says that. Like cant he just say something random???

And now hes mad because what always came in my mouth is all about my experience. I mean the reason why i rarely talk about our future plan for our relationship becasue, i am still in my last tear of college. Im not like him who has stable income, im not like him who has job. I cant just tell him about my plans for our relationship because im shy. I Dont have a job im just a student. My goal is to graduate and have stable job in the future. And focus on my mom and my lil sister to give them a better life.

I dont know :frown:

you sound like you dont want to be with him anymore. He doesn't seem to be supporting you in the way you want. He seems like he isn't the best guy for you at the moment. If he doesnt want to support you and talk to you about your problems I say its time to go separate ways.
Right now, you said you wanted to focus on school and getting good grades, working towards your goal... maybe that's a way to go?
Original post by itsluckytal
He's telling me like i dont have any plans about our relationship. That i always keep telling him about my past experience (not past relationship experience). What i mean is telling him about how my bad days in school before, my happy moments with my friends, my dad when he is in ICU, my siblings arguements and so on.

Our conversation goes on like that. I question him about his experience too. What he was when he is in school. After he graduate, like that.

And everytime i ran out of topic, i keep asking him to say something. Like random stuff. And he says "nah, i have nothing to say"

I feel hurt sometimes when he says that. Like cant he just say something random???

And now hes mad because what always came in my mouth is all about my experience. I mean the reason why i rarely talk about our future plan for our relationship becasue, i am still in my last tear of college. Im not like him who has stable income, im not like him who has job. I cant just tell him about my plans for our relationship because im shy. I Dont have a job im just a student. My goal is to graduate and have stable job in the future. And focus on my mom and my lil sister to give them a better life.

I dont know :frown:

Are you telling him the reason why you can't make future plans with him right now? If not, you should. Relationships need communication. It sounds like you are at two different life stages (I'm guessing there is an age gap?) so you need to consider if this relationship could realistically last long-term if you want different things.
Original post by itsluckytal
He's telling me like i dont have any plans about our relationship. That i always keep telling him about my past experience (not past relationship experience). What i mean is telling him about how my bad days in school before, my happy moments with my friends, my dad when he is in ICU, my siblings arguements and so on.

Our conversation goes on like that. I question him about his experience too. What he was when he is in school. After he graduate, like that.

And everytime i ran out of topic, i keep asking him to say something. Like random stuff. And he says "nah, i have nothing to say"

I feel hurt sometimes when he says that. Like cant he just say something random???

And now hes mad because what always came in my mouth is all about my experience. I mean the reason why i rarely talk about our future plan for our relationship becasue, i am still in my last tear of college. Im not like him who has stable income, im not like him who has job. I cant just tell him about my plans for our relationship because im shy. I Dont have a job im just a student. My goal is to graduate and have stable job in the future. And focus on my mom and my lil sister to give them a better life.

I dont know :frown:


IF thats all you talk about i.e not light hearted present and the future, but just about your past I can see it might get a bit dull.
That said as your partner he should listen and if its unhealthily about the past he should tell you or guide you to a better balance of present and future.
He should also listen and be attuned to what you are telling him and why, about the support and reassurance you need about whats happened and encouragement for the future. he does that as a sign of empathy, intimacy and the fact he cares about you and your wellbeing.

It appears he does non of those things, inst interested and is either lazy, doesnt care or just doesnt communicate well or lacks empathy.

Your choices are:
1. Communicate with him and gently steer him to a better balance and conversation, although he seems unable or reluctant.
2. Accept he is a poor communicator plus the rest and if he isnt making you happy, find someone else who is good company. It would seem to me his poor communication and failure to make an effort diminishes you and your self confidence because he is actively showing he doesnt care or he is unable to communicate.

In this situation you should question whether you are happy and you get enough out of the relationship compared to the effort you put in plus how happy you are. Consider if you would be better off alone and then consider finding someone else whop offers you more empathy and support.
i think you just need to properly communicate with him, which is the fundamental part of any relationship. if you feel shy about talking about your relationship, tell him that.

if the constant insensitivity and unhappiness is really tearing at you, then it's not the relationship that's going to last for a lifetime of love and joy.
Moved to relationships, hopefully this will help give some more replies.

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