Annoyed when friends dont invite you out?

Please delete rather than de-anon :smile:

so, people youve known for ages and would proabably consider your best friends. you take them out for a meal and pay for it. yet the conversations only revolve around the numerous nights out that they have been on over the past 3 weeks or so. Meanwhile, i am sitting there, having not gone, nor been invited to these nights out and for no apparent reason. i am actually upset because if they dont like me or something, then they should have said so and not used me for a free meal tonight, if they do like me then why did they not even invite me out on those nights. i see no proper reason.

i actually want to cry :frown:

is it right to be annoyed or am i just over reacting?
should i say something to them?

Im thankful of any advice :smile:

Reply 1

stuartrowland

I feel your frustration... they don't sound like great friends!
*hint* you're far too nice, don't pay for the meal :smile:

Reply 2

x=o

why'd you pay for the meal?

and i often don't get invited out, but it is because they know i'll say no :p:

Reply 3

Spacecam

I know you probably want to hear "it'll all resolve and be ok" but I can't say that.

I was in this situation last year in uni. I was in a really small group of friends (about six) and we all got on really well. I noticed, like you, that they started excluding me abit, or lying about when they were going out, then going out anyway without me.

I suggest you give it about another two or three weeks. Invite them out yourself as a group and enjoy it if you can. Then wait and see if they reciprocate. "True" friends will get in touch and want to catch up if you've not been in contact in a fair while. If they don't, then (I'm sorry to say it) **** them.....they aren't worth it.

Friends come and go - you'll make plenty more. You may shead a tear over it but don't waste the time of day on it - they certainly aren't worried about you are they?

Besides, there are loads of lovely people on TSR who'll speak to you - especially Carrie lol

Reply 4

SuicidalLemming

When they've asked before if you want to go out, have you turned them down a lot?

'coz in my group we ask certain people and not others, based on who is likely/not likely to come out with us.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

x=o

why'd you pay for the meal?

and i often don't get invited out, but it is because they know i'll say no :p:

well, i wasnt aware of them all going out and stuff, so said we should do something as i had some inheritance so id treat for a meal. but then it was during the meal that i realise they have been meeting up 3 or 4 times a week going clubbing or to the pubs and stuff. i wouldnt say no either, ive been well bored and rarely say no, even if i did say no, its nice to be invited. Also if they are going to not invite me i dont think they should talk only about these 'great' nights out :frown:

Reply 6

SpiritedAway

i don't get invited out because i'm the youngest in my circle of friends and am not old enough to go out with them. most of my friends are 18 going on 19 and i'm 17 going on 18. though it is annoying when my friends are having parties (at their own home) and don't invite me because of the whole 'alcohol' thing :rolleyes:

yet they send me videos of them all drunk.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

mm i do know what you mean and i feel the same. why you paying for any one elses meal? i mean unless its a special occasion or something then dont even offer, jsut pay your part or go splitsies.
i have a cuple of friends who jsut done invite me out to things, theyve even planed a holiday for one of their birthdays and sit their infront of me planning it whilst i jsut kind of sit there....trying to occupy myself with something else until they finish conversing about their future nights out.
It did upset me alot at firs,t but i think ive just stoped caring.
hmm my advice to you?
there's not realy much you can do, dont get upset about it, just plan nights out with other friends and just have a good time without them.

Reply 8

Chantalcompowder

kinda going through a similar thing, i started at a boarding school for sixth form, and the rest of my friends from secondary school have gone to 2 different colleges, but have remained quite good friends of those in the group who have gone to the same place. only a few live in the same town as me, and the majority live in neighbouring towns just 20mins away by train.

Now i know that obviously they'll be closer because of convienience sakes, they're at the same place, but i just feel that i always let them know when i'm back home and they always said they want to keep in touch, but often get left in the dark and have to constantly ask when they are doing something. Only a few let me know about things going on. It's just quite frustrating during long holidays, particuarly like this one, when i don't really have the money to go see my friends from sixth form, because they live here, there and everywhere.

I just look and think, well we all have different lives and different things to do, and no worries if they don't invite me, because in a year or so we'll all be at different uni's, so i won't be the one left out.

i know it's frustrating when they talk about parties i wasn't at, and how i don't know about anything that's happened, but i try to show an interest and such, and try and just be me when i'm around so they remember those evenings i was there.

sorry this probably isn't any help and is just a ramble, but don't worry about it. try and get friends in all aspects of your life, through family, work, other friends, the past. people can drift apart, but you'll love the fresh energy you get from getting to know new people.

Reply 9

ClivePounds

Everyone would be pissed off at that, I would be pissed off at that. Ultimately it's your friends who are being arses

Reply 10

Meliae

Have you asked them why they didn't invite you?

Could be they just didn't think you'd want to come or would be busy or something. It's possible they didn't want you there, but there's also a good chance it was totally innocent.

Before the holidays, I hung round in a massive group. Now, something like 10 weeks on, we've learnt who's never available or never wants to come out and ended up forming a new smaller group of 8 most of the time. That's just the way things have ended up. I'm still trying to arrange to see some of the friends I haven't even seen since the end of exams but I ask them separately rather than inviting them out day to day because otherwise they won't be able to come. With my friends, we organise most things less than 24 hours before so that's another reason for not inviting people who don't normally come or won't check their phones or who'd struggle to make it.

Reply 11

lazza

my uni "friends" did that to me and I decided to just meet better people

Reply 12

Juggy123

your amaazingly cute, you should be happy your so emotional and not rats like them guys!

Reply 13

username163729

Yehhh, i've felt like that somewhat before. I feel for you though, you probably deserve better friends though, sounds a bit...well, plain rude to be talking like that during a meal that you paid for 0.o

You'd be better off asking them about it or just move on and find new friends. Hope you sort it out eventually anyway :smile:

Reply 14

username94219

I know what you mean - sometimes my friends don't invite me places and when we do eventually meet up - they talk about things which have happened when I wasn't invited and etc. Its why I can't wait to start back Uni, as my Uni mates always invite me out, regardless.

As for the offering to pay for the meal - I would have said ''Just going to the toilet'' - paid for your OWN meal and left them to it!

Sounds mean but they clearly were taking you for a ride and just using you - people like that IMO aren't friends.

Find better friends :smile:

Reply 15