average_human
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Could anyone offer some feedback on this? I'm aiming for an 8, possibly a nine at a stretch I know it's not there yet, so any help would be appreciated




Although we are introduced to an idyllic, Eden-like island, Golding raises our suspicions about the islands right from the start. In Chapter 1, Golding establishes a contrast between the innocence and vulnerability of Ralph and the darkness and danger of the island. We first see this in Golding description of the bird’s noise as a “witch-like cry”. The use of the simile ‘witch-like’ implies that although the island appears beautiful, there is something unnerving and unsettling about it, creating an eerie and off-putting atmosphere. By likening the bird to a witch, Golding also implies that there is some sort of unnatural magic on the island, reinforcing the strange atmosphere. This invokes empathy for the young Ralph, as there is a sense of foreboding due to the sharp contrast between the dark, eerie island and Ralph’s innocence.
However, Golding also starts to bring forward the idea that instead of the island being the problem, it’s the boys effect on the island that makes it seem eerie. By using the word ‘-like’ Golding also implies that Ralph might be overreacting to the bird’s screech, demonstrating the psychological effect being alone on the island is already having on the boys. We also see this idea when Ralph “lowered himself down”. Golding is suggesting that Ralph is lowering himself down physically, but this could also imply that Ralph is lowering himself down morally, possibly even into Hell. Golding is once again prompting the reader to wonder whether there is something wrong with the boys rather than the island, as it is not a place that is bad, but rather the people that live there and what their actions are.
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becausethenight
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Your ideas seem solid
My only query is if the quotes you are focusing on are too short and uncontextualised to act as evidence for your argument. For example, you talk about "contrast between the innocence and vulnerability of Ralph and the darkness and danger of the island" - but your quote doesn't show that, there's no mention of Ralph at all! You might need 2 or 3 quotes in that paragraph. When you talk about Ralph “lower[ing] himself down", you probably also need to give more context as to when this is happening.
Your ideas are bang on, you just need to back them up more convincingly!
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average_human
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by becausethenight)
Your ideas seem solid
My only query is if the quotes you are focusing on are too short and uncontextualised to act as evidence for your argument. For example, you talk about "contrast between the innocence and vulnerability of Ralph and the darkness and danger of the island" - but your quote doesn't show that, there's no mention of Ralph at all! You might need 2 or 3 quotes in that paragraph. When you talk about Ralph “lower[ing] himself down", you probably also need to give more context as to when this is happening.
Your ideas are bang on, you just need to back them up more convincingly!
thanks, this is helpful !
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