How can I suggest an open relationship to my boyfriend?

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Pleasantri
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As I've started to feel that I'm having to keep what I'm doing a secret and it's becoming tiresome.
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ecolier
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(Original post by Pleasantri)
As I've started to feel that I'm having to keep what I'm doing a secret and it's becoming tiresome.
You may as well break up with him, because call me old-fashioned, but an "open" relationship to me is legitimising cheating.
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Anonymous #1
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just break up with him you sket
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Gundabad(good)
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(Original post by Pleasantri)
As I've started to feel that I'm having to keep what I'm doing a secret and it's becoming tiresome.
Break up and never make up. He doesn't deserve to be cheated on.
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Mr T 999
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So you already started cheating on him? Do the bloke a favour and end things.
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username3539714
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Don't hide things from him, just be honest and either break up with him or tell him what's on your mind
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LovelyMrFox
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Great. Your cheating?
Well I suggest you tell him and then let him leave you for someone better.
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londonmyst
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Just tell your bf that you have realised that you find monogamy boring and ask him if he has started feeling the same way.
Then you will be able to see how sexually compatible you are and if your best option is to end the relationship.

I'm not interested in any type of polyamory, threesomes or fwb.
But I don't share the social attitude that seeks to portray individuals in informal casual relationships where one or all persons are non-compliant with monogamy as 'cheats' in relation to not observing sexual exclusivity.
I believe this commitment and exclusivity comes with marriage/civil partnerships and not casual relationships (like cohabitation, dating, ons, hookups, fwb arrangements, sugar baby & daddy, sex workers).
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Manu.uu
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(Original post by ecolier)
You may as well break up with him, because call me old-fashioned, but an "open" relationship to me is legitimising cheating.
definitely cheating
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username4953776
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(Original post by AM_TSR)
Don't hide things from him, just be honest and either break up with him or tell him what's on your mind
Seriously agree u need to be honest and break up then
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Ciel.
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(Original post by Pleasantri)
As I've started to feel that I'm having to keep what I'm doing a secret and it's becoming tiresome.
half of your threads sound like a parody of mine 😂😂 you're doing it on purpose, aren't you?
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CTLeafez
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(Original post by Pleasantri)
As I've started to feel that I'm having to keep what I'm doing a secret and it's becoming tiresome.
Wait... So you’re sleeping with someone else already when you’re meant to be an exclusive relationship?

Assuming you ain’t a troll, do everyone a favour and break up with your current boyfriend.

You can then sleep with whoever you want without feeling guilty and your boyfriend can find someone actually worth his time.
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64Lightbulbs
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open relationships are great if they're for you but they're something you talk about and then participate in. You don't cheat and then find a way to make it not cheating. If you want to have your next relationship be open/poly that's great but you can't just change this one to cover up that you're cheating. Everyone's telling you to break up with him, but if it's a purely sexual thing (with the other person), personally I'd have a conversation and apologize and try to salvage the relationship. If you're cheating cause you don't like your boyfriend but you don't want to break up, rip the band-aid off already.
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username4952880
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(Original post by Pleasantri)
As I've started to feel that I'm having to keep what I'm doing a secret and it's becoming tiresome.
what are you hiding?
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Anonymous #2
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It’s only an open relationship if you are both aware and agree to it. At the moment you are being a cheat and disguising it as ‘an open relationship’ doesn’t make you any less of a cheat. Save him the heartache and leave. It is so disrespectful!
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Appirition
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(Original post by Pleasantri)
As I've started to feel that I'm having to keep what I'm doing a secret and it's becoming tiresome.
Try to find an opportune moment to ask your bf what his thoughts are about open relationships and polyamory. If he's completely against them you're never going to be compatible for a future together so it's time to move on.
However I do agree with the below - you should have had this discussion before you started doing anything with anyone else.

(Original post by 64Lightbulbs)
open relationships are great if they're for you but they're something you talk about and then participate in. You don't cheat and then find a way to make it not cheating. If you want to have your next relationship be open/poly that's great but you can't just change this one to cover up that you're cheating. Everyone's telling you to break up with him, but if it's a purely sexual thing (with the other person), personally I'd have a conversation and apologize and try to salvage the relationship. If you're cheating cause you don't like your boyfriend but you don't want to break up, rip the band-aid off already.
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username5027880
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Firstly be honest with him then do the decent thing and break up with him, so he can move on and find somebody else.
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Appirition
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Just tell your bf that you have realised that you find monogamy boring and ask him if he has started feeling the same way.
Then you will be able to see how sexually compatible you are and if your best option is to end the relationship.

I'm not interested in any type of polyamory, threesomes or fwb.
But I don't share the social attitude that seeks to portray individuals in informal casual relationships where one or all persons are non-compliant with monogamy as 'cheats' in relation to not observing sexual exclusivity.
I believe this commitment and exclusivity comes with marriage/civil partnerships and not casual relationships (like cohabitation, dating, ons, hookups, fwb arrangements, sugar baby & daddy, sex workers).
I absolutely respect your view on this and that you have no interest in being any part of this type of relationship.
However, some married couples do actively participate in consensual polyamory and have consensual open relationships. The key word being 'consensual' every time, and the consent has to come from everyone involved, directly or indirectly.
What's right for one or for some, isn't right for all, but openness and honesty are essential in every case for it to work out in the longer term.
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