On the edge - girlfriends ex

I have previously written on this forum before but thought i'd start a new one. I have been with my girlfriend for 8 months and things were going so well but just recently the guy she was seeing before me has moved back to our town and my world has been turned upside down.
I love her with all my heart but im convinced she will leave me for him. she tells me im paranoid and im sure shes right but im hurting so much inside im not eating or sleeping properly and have been really stressed out.
The problem is she has a small circle of friends and he is part of their group so they are always out together and im scared he will persuade her that he's the best as he is still obsessed with her.
We went to a party last saturday and he was there i know it was awkward for her because of this situation so she didnt say a word to him but im convinced they text each other at the end of the night and it ended in us rowing the thing is i don't want them to stop being friends he seems like an ok guy i would rather she chatted to him than make it seem more secret but thats the problem im really insecure due to past relationships and i can't understand why she would want me when hes good looking and sporty. She was on holiday to ibiza recently and i was only worried about her texting him than her getting with someone there! so i must be a trusting person to some extent. I took a gamble and text him when she went away telling him to back off and after a few exchanges i said i don't have a problem with them being friends and he told me not to ruin my relationship with her because were good together and that relaxed me slightly.
She tells me she loves me all the time, that im the guy she wants to marry, she talks about marriage and babies so why do i worry! Ill take the slightest thing like a text she recieves from him or both their facebook statuses and immediately panic for days on end that she'll leave me at any minute. This is making her really unhappy and i dont want that but im not happy so how do i make her happy if im not. The only way ill be happy is if he backs off a bit and moves onto another girl but i don't want him to get out of her life.
I really love this girl like no one iv'e ever loved and i don't beleive she would cheat on me and know she loves me but I do worry she still fancies him and compares me to him thinking what se could've won. Im at a loose end i think the hardest bit to accept is that if she was not with me or was single she would be with him. I just want to relax and go back to how things were! What do i do! :frown:

Reply 1

DamnitJanet

8

Ok.
1. Calm down.
2. Trust your girlfriend. She says she loves you, and she doesn't want this other guy. Believe it or not, she knows better than you who she wants to be with. She wants to be with you! Don't ruin your relationship over something that may never be a problem.

Reply 2

brenan235

OP

I know but its constantly on my mind and untill recently he text her loads and she replied all the time until i told him to tone it down.
I know its bad i checked her phone and i didnt find anything suspicious from her but his messages said i still have feelings for you etc and i don't like that!
Though the last one from him did say 'as long as your happy i just wanted to tell you how i feel' so i guess she told him she wants me. The smallest thing sets me off worrying like if she mentions his name or I catch her reading his star sign. i don't know :-(

Reply 3

minimo156

brenan235

I know but its constantly on my mind and untill recently he text her loads and she replied all the time until i told him to tone it down.
I know its bad i checked her phone and i didnt find anything suspicious from her but his messages said i still have feelings for you etc and i don't like that!
Though the last one from him did say 'as long as your happy i just wanted to tell you how i feel' so i guess she told him she wants me. The smallest thing sets me off worrying like if she mentions his name or I catch her reading his star sign. i don't know :-(

Shoot the bastard ... oh wait ....

Reply 4

Reems

14

brenan235

I know but its constantly on my mind and untill recently he text her loads and she replied all the time until i told him to tone it down.
I know its bad i checked her phone and i didnt find anything suspicious from her but his messages said i still have feelings for you etc and i don't like that!
Though the last one from him did say 'as long as your happy i just wanted to tell you how i feel' so i guess she told him she wants me. The smallest thing sets me off worrying like if she mentions his name or I catch her reading his star sign. i don't know :-(

I know exactly what you mean mate, i'm not in exactly the same situ, but I get paranoid very easily. The only way over it is confidence in her.. but also yourself. She's with you, not him. If she wanted to be with him, she'd have ****** off a long time ago. She wants you...

Also some advice... this might seem a bit harsh but if you're ever in a situation with him and your girlfriend is there, make it overly obvious you're in love. I had a friend once who flirted all the time with my girlfriend until one night I i just placed myself all over her, made massive sexual jokes and took her upstairs, just to make it clear to him that she was mine. I know it sounds like you're over protective and claiming her as yours, but if you love her then it's worth making her a bit uncomfortable for a few moments.

On the edge - girlfriends ex

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