Why wont my boyfriend get hard?

He's probably nervous

Hi,

It's clearly a psychological problem he has. What I mean is there's nothing physically wrong with him as you say there's no problem with other, non-penetrative sexual activities. It's difficult to say what that could be, but could be anything from fear of disease or pregnancy... to not living up to your expectations... or even just a fear of doing it (loss of innocence).

How old are you? If you're both over 18 (and no religious commitments) , you could try having a few drinks first to relax you both (don't get drunk though, just enough so you're relaxed). Alternatively, do something you both like doing during the day first.

Thanks for the advice, i was wondering if he was nervous but i asked him and as ar as he,s consciously concerned he's not nervous. I might try some drinks but we still live with our parents and his are quite against drinking. Still, i very much appreciate your advice

He doesn't find you attractive enough.

He doesn't find you attractive enough.

Performance anxiety perhaps?

He's nervous and he's fronting.

Maybe be more spontaneous, rather than planning it and letting him overthink it?

Otherwise, tequila.

Agreed - it's probably feeling nervous about his first time. Try to make him feel comfortable.

do you have any advice on how to ease his nerves?

Like I said, be spontaneous. Nerves are caused by overthinking negative outcomes.

Put on a movie, have a few drinks and jump him halfway through after a little innocuous touching

he's probably nervous. or gay.

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and we've wanted to have sex for a few months now but every time we try, he goes soft. Whenever we do other activities (hj, bj) it's fine and he gets hard but when we want to have sex, he goes soft (we are both virgins). He's quite embarrassed and says it knocks his confidence (obviously i reassure him) but I love him and want to share this experience with him but I can't. Any advice?

Do you treat him fairly on a daily basis?