Friend keeps judging me

We were just talk on the phone a few days ago and he was just being critical about me. He kept doing it saying how I need to get a job, be more independent, he was saying do I not have other friends which isnt something cool to say especially to your mate. He was saying what have I been up to I just said "Ive been at home playing a lot plus its” then he said "playing all week, what do you do the all day?" so I say "I don’t work I stay at home" but he started saying "you are lazy and you need to get a job before you regret it coz you are 19 years old", I just said "what do you mean I stay at home all week", he was like "why do you think you get education?", I say "Its so young people can keep busy by going to school” he says "no its so you can get a ****ing job you, Im sorry but you are thick". He was lecturing me on how I need to get a job and that Im an adult and hes saying Ill regret not getting a job in the future. He saying "every other student had a is busy exept you".

All this got to me Ive started thinking am Iazy for not doing anything. I am 19 like my friend said and dont have a job, I’m and I’m not in education or anything so I’m at home all day no matter if it’s weekend or during the week. I just don’t appreciate the criticism at all tbh. I am fine without a job, I live with my parents which give me my wants or needs.

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Reply 1

Foxehh

This doesnt sound like much of a "best friend".

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by LovelyMrFox

This doesnt sound like much of a "best friend".

I know

Reply 3

Foxehh

Original post by Anonymous

I know

Go find new friends. This one seems like a pain and a waste of time.

Reply 4

xoxAngel_Kxox

Why have you posted this again? You post it the other day.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox

Why have you posted this again? You post it the other day.

He was doing it again and it’s getting to me

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by LovelyMrFox

Go find new friends. This one seems like a pain and a waste of time.

He’s in our friendship group though

Reply 7

Foxehh

Original post by Anonymous

He’s in our friendship group though

Hm, thats hard.

Is it bad enough that you would consider leaving the friend group?

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by LovelyMrFox

Hm, thats hard.

Is it bad enough that you would consider leaving the friend group?

They are pretty much all my friends tbh, I’m a loner but I can admit coz I’m anon lmao

Reply 9

Foxehh

Original post by Anonymous

They are pretty much all my friends tbh, I’m a loner but I can admit coz I’m anon lmao

Thats fine. Some people want lots of friends, other people dont.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by LovelyMrFox

Thats fine. Some people want lots of friends, other people dont.

I want friends though

Reply 11

Foxehh

Original post by Anonymous

I want friends though

Lots of friends are overrated. All you need is one good friend.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by LovelyMrFox

Lots of friends are overrated. All you need is one good friend.

It’s just because I don’t go to college or anything or I don’t work so I don’t interact with anyone

Reply 13

Foxehh

Original post by Anonymous

It’s just because I don’t go to college or anything or I don’t work so I don’t interact with anyone

Oh. Thats kind of hard then :frown:

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by LovelyMrFox

Oh. Thats kind of hard then :frown:

Can we be friends

Reply 15

Foxehh

Original post by Anonymous

Can we be friends

Sure

Pm me

Reply 16

Khanthebrit

He sounds very condescending and critical. Criticism stems from 2 branches - empathy and jealousy. If your friend was truly empathetic and wanted to see you succeed, he would offer feedback which ultimately is specific and offers you stepping stones to improve, rather than personally attacking you.

I'm all for my friends playing devil's advocate when it comes to new ideas. I need to challenge my confirmation bias, and a fresh mind is good to ultimately help me make the right decision and challenge my biases. I encourage it. Your friend isn't doing that, he's simply berating and bullying you.

Next time you speak, tell him why does he feel the need to keep telling you to get a job, etc along with the other general criticisms. If he says something like 'I know you can do better', or 'I love you man', tell him I appreciate that but I'm not appreciating the criticism. Simply just ask for him not to mention it again unless you specifically ask him for feedback. Likewise, tell him it's your life and you take 100% responsibility for the successes and failures.

If it did come from a tree of empathy, he'll stop. If not, he's jealous of you, for whatever reason I do not know.