Friends upset with me because I won’t meet up with them during pandemic

Got a bit of a dilemma going on at the moment. My dad is at high risk of severe symptoms of Coronavirus due to his old age & medical conditions. Since the pandemic broke out in the UK in March, I told my friends that I feared for his safety and wanted to limit contact with them. They respected this at the time (the country was soon put on lockdown so there wasn’t much of a choice). But now that restrictions have been eased, they’ve been asking me to meet up with them.

I’ve already told them my dad won’t allow it, but they’ve asked again. The truth is that my dad probably would allow it if I promised to stay 2 feet away from them; I’m just worried about accidentally contracting the virus and infecting him. I’d rather limit contact with my friends until the infection rate has significantly dropped than risk loosing my dad. I’ve already lost my mother.

I’m aware I might sound dramatic and stupid but I’m really just not ready to meet up with my friends. Especially considering that they’ve both broken the rules of lockdown and have been in contact with other people who may potentially have the virus. The truth is, I genuinely don’t know when I’ll be ready to meet up with them. I’m so worried about my dad and have gotten so used to staying indoors that I feel like I’ll never be able to break this habit. Another reason I don’t wanna start leaving the house just yet is because I’ve grown very insecure about my appearance. I can feel my friends getting frustrated with me and I suspect it’s only going to get worse as time goes on. I can’t hide in the house forever, but I kind of want to. I don’t know what I can do. Does anyone else relate? Or is everyone jumping at the opportunity to meet loved ones and I’m just a weirdo?

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 1

remussjhj01

19

I think you're well within your rights to say to your friends you don't want to meet up for another month.
Around mid-March, people who had immuno-compromising conditions or who were above 70 were advised to stay home for at least 3 months, so in theory there's only about 2 weeks-month left, but of course you should keep up with government advice at the time.
Explain this time scale to your friends and say it shouldn't be long, and you are excited to see them when you can.

Reply 2

username402722

19

You love and care for your dad. Anyone who fails to respect that is not someone to be friends with.

Reply 3

claireestelle

22

Original post by camcole44

Got a bit of a dilemma going on at the moment. My dad is at high risk of severe symptoms of Coronavirus due to his old age & medical conditions. Since the pandemic broke out in the UK in March, I told my friends that I feared for his safety and wanted to limit contact with them. They respected this at the time (the country was soon put on lockdown so there wasn’t much of a choice). But now that restrictions have been eased, they’ve been asking me to meet up with them.

I’ve already told them my dad won’t allow it, but they’ve asked again. The truth is that my dad probably would allow it if I promised to stay 2 feet away from them; I’m just worried about accidentally contracting the virus and infecting him. I’d rather limit contact with my friends until the infection rate has significantly dropped than risk loosing my dad. I’ve already lost my mother.

I’m aware I might sound dramatic and stupid but I’m really just not ready to meet up with my friends. Especially considering that they’ve both broken the rules of lockdown and have been in contact with other people who may potentially have the virus. The truth is, I genuinely don’t know when I’ll be ready to meet up with them. I’m so worried about my dad and have gotten so used to staying indoors that I feel like I’ll never be able to break this habit. Another reason I don’t wanna start leaving the house just yet is because I’ve grown very insecure about my appearance. I can feel my friends getting frustrated with me and I suspect it’s only going to get worse as time goes on. I can’t hide in the house forever, but I kind of want to. Does anyone else relate? Or is everyone jumping at the opportunity to meet loved ones and I’m just a weirdo?

you've lost one parent, anyone should understand you don't want to do anything to risk your living parent without you telling them directly in my mind.

I don't think you're being dramatic at all, perhaps as your friends haven't been in the situation where they've been told that medicine can't save someone they love so it's not something they ever imagine happening to them as some people aren't wired like that.

If your friends can't understand you're trying to protect someone you love when you've lost someone already then they aren't particularly mature friends. Do what you feel comfortable when you are ready, the guilt of knowing that you infected someone you love is worse than losing friends that aren't empathetic.

Reply 4

squeakysquirrel

20

Original post by camcole44

Got a bit of a dilemma going on at the moment. My dad is at high risk of severe symptoms of Coronavirus due to his old age & medical conditions. Since the pandemic broke out in the UK in March, I told my friends that I feared for his safety and wanted to limit contact with them. They respected this at the time (the country was soon put on lockdown so there wasn’t much of a choice). But now that restrictions have been eased, they’ve been asking me to meet up with them.

I’ve already told them my dad won’t allow it, but they’ve asked again. The truth is that my dad probably would allow it if I promised to stay 2 feet away from them; I’m just worried about accidentally contracting the virus and infecting him. I’d rather limit contact with my friends until the infection rate has significantly dropped than risk loosing my dad. I’ve already lost my mother.

I’m aware I might sound dramatic and stupid but I’m really just not ready to meet up with my friends. Especially considering that they’ve both broken the rules of lockdown and have been in contact with other people who may potentially have the virus. The truth is, I genuinely don’t know when I’ll be ready to meet up with them. I’m so worried about my dad and have gotten so used to staying indoors that I feel like I’ll never be able to break this habit. Another reason I don’t wanna start leaving the house just yet is because I’ve grown very insecure about my appearance. I can feel my friends getting frustrated with me and I suspect it’s only going to get worse as time goes on. I can’t hide in the house forever, but I kind of want to. I don’t know what I can do. Does anyone else relate? Or is everyone jumping at the opportunity to meet loved ones and I’m just a weirdo?

Your friends are being very selfish. Your dad is in the high risk group and you are doing the right thing. It won't be forever. In the meantime, start working on your appearance - I think we have all allowed ourselves to slide slightly.

My hair resembles Boris Johnsons at the moment and I have been no stranger to the knife and fork !

Reply 5

IBkidinthecorner

Universities Forum Helper

19

I for one think your friends are being incredibly selfish, and that you should follow your gut and not meet up with them. It's really admirable that you want to protect your dad, so you are obviously a very caring person. Stay safe