My mum recently told me that I had four siblings that unfortunately were stillborn (three older siblings and one younger, although I was too young to remember that one). She has not told my other siblings and it exasperates me that my younger sister has no idea that she had a stillborn twin. I understand that it was very hard for my mum to tell me about that, and she told me that she wanted to shield us from the grief so did not tell us, which I understand, but when I was younger, I would say to her e.g. that I would rather have a baby boy than a baby girl when I grow up, and she would shout at me and tell I was being flippant and ungrateful, making me feel confused and agitated. Since I was told I have not done that out of respect, but my younger siblings ask her things about her personal life that perhaps overlap into that subject, and she gets angry and that just creates an argument that involves that my whole family, which is happening increasingly often. I do not feel at all comfortable asking questions about this as she is extremely sensitive and I want to know but I don't know how to approach her and start the conversation. I have instead been searching the house for photos or records but have not yet found anything. I know that I will have to tell her at some point and that she will have to tell my younger siblings as I feel that she is keeping a toxic secret that will only get worse. I am aware that most of you will have not been placed in this situation but any suggestions about how to approach someone in a difficult situation would be appreciated.