future_11
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I want kids young (preferably at least one by the time im 23) but i also want to go medical school. Is it crazy/unethical to consider having a surrogate carry the baby if i were in medical school. Then at least i could at least focus on my studies without having to deal with extra stress because of the changes going on in my body. Of course i would still take maternity leave but that's still 9 months that i will be able to continue in uni.
Is this a completely insane and stupid idea? PLEASE BE HONEST THANKS
** I'm only 16 right now so sorry if i do sound immature i just really want a family but also want a career
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sammyj97
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Its possible to have both. Do you think every doctor currently has no family or kids?
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AzureCeleste
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Yeah a little insane. You want to study medicine and be looking after a baby? Do you have a partner in all this?
You will have placements (some nights), how do you take care of the baby? How do you have a normal social life? How will you afford it? There are so many things to consider and I don't think you have thought this through......
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ROTL94
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Having children whilre you're in full time education and doing work placements on top is a very bad idea
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Sammylou40
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It sounds completely insane to me personally. Using a surrogate is one thing. It’s illegal to charge a fee but you are liable to cover their expenses. Where is the money coming from? When it’s born how are you going to cover your crazy med student hours and study with a baby? Or are you planning on letting someone else do everything? In which case it’s pointless.
You should wait until you are settled and ready
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Democracy
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(Original post by future_11)
I want kids young (preferably at least one by the time im 23) but i also want to go medical school. Is it crazy/unethical to consider having a surrogate carry the baby if i were in medical school. Then at least i could at least focus on my studies without having to deal with extra stress because of the changes going on in my body. Of course i would still take maternity leave but that's still 9 months that i will be able to continue in uni.
Is this a completely insane and stupid idea? PLEASE BE HONEST THANKS
** I'm only 16 right now so sorry if i do sound immature i just really want a family but also want a career

I think you should wait and see what's going on in your life when you're 23, sounds like you're hugely overplanning at the moment.

You can definitely have a family don't worry. There is life after your early 20s...
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nexttime
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(Original post by future_11)
I want kids young (preferably at least one by the time im 23) but i also want to go medical school. Is it crazy/unethical to consider having a surrogate carry the baby if i were in medical school. Then at least i could at least focus on my studies without having to deal with extra stress because of the changes going on in my body. Of course i would still take maternity leave but that's still 9 months that i will be able to continue in uni.
Is this a completely insane and stupid idea? PLEASE BE HONEST THANKS
** I'm only 16 right now so sorry if i do sound immature i just really want a family but also want a career
Don't think it solves the problems at all really. Not to belittle pregnancy, but most mothers can continue to work until like 36 weeks. Its the **** (literally and otherwise) that comes afterwards that's going to be the massive commitment!

Bear in mind very poor mat pay if you have a baby whilst unemployed. Babies are expensive.

Also bear in mind that a good 20% of couples can't get pregnant in the first 6 months. Its hard to just schedule a baby.
(Original post by sammyj97)
Its possible to have both. Do you think every doctor currently has no family or kids?
True, but it does tend to get fitted around the career. Certainly a baby at 23 would be very unusual.
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londonmyst
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There is nothing wrong with considering your options in relation to ivf or surrogacy.
But do bear in mind that being a student parent is very demanding in terms of balancing your finances, studies, family life, time and childcare arrangements.

Uni places to study medicine are limited, very competitive and the practical demands of life as a med student then junior doctor are onerous.
I would imagine being a single parent medical student would be a very stressful and extremely difficult balancing act to cope with.
ecolier Any advice?
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GANFYD
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(Original post by Democracy)
There is life after your early 20s...
Do not fill them with hope........

(Original post by londonmyst)
There is nothing wrong with considering your options in relation to ivf or surrogacy.
But do bear in mind that being a student parent is very demanding in terms of balancing your finances, studies, family life, time and childcare arrangements.

Uni places to study medicine are limited, very competitive and the practical demands of life as a med student then junior doctor are onerous.
I would imagine being a single parent medical student would be a very stressful and extremely difficult balancing act to cope with.
ecolier Any advice?
There is already advice from doctors - and even one with a real baby - on the thread, though the more the merrier.

(Original post by future_11)
Of course i would still take maternity leave but that's still 9 months that i will be able to continue in uni.
Is this a completely insane and stupid idea? PLEASE BE HONEST THANKS
** I'm only 16 right now so sorry if i do sound immature i just really want a family but also want a career
I worked until 2 days before each of my first 2 children were born and only stopped with the 3rd as I was medically unfit. And this was as a Dr on call, not just a med student. Plus I did not have "good" or "easy" pregnancies.
As pointed out, the pregnancy is a walk in the park compared to the next 18 years!
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Helenia
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(Original post by future_11)
I want kids young (preferably at least one by the time im 23) but i also want to go medical school. Is it crazy/unethical to consider having a surrogate carry the baby if i were in medical school. Then at least i could at least focus on my studies without having to deal with extra stress because of the changes going on in my body. Of course i would still take maternity leave but that's still 9 months that i will be able to continue in uni.
Is this a completely insane and stupid idea? PLEASE BE HONEST THANKS
** I'm only 16 right now so sorry if i do sound immature i just really want a family but also want a career
Why the rush to have children? 23 would be very young for a doctor to have kids unless unplanned tbh, but the majority do eventually sprog up, more usually in the late 20s/early 30s (I was 32 and 34 when mine were born). Going through the expense and complications of using a surrogate just to have a baby at an arbitrary age does seem crazy. And as has already been said, having a child when you have no means of financially supporting them, regardless of whether you carry it or someone else does, seems like a very bad idea. Pregnancy isn't easy for many women, but it's certainly possible for most to work/study up until late in the 3rd trimester (I worked up to 37ish weeks both times, though the last few weeks were a struggle), with the exception of a few who have e.g. hyperemesis/other pregnancy complications. It's the parenting afterwards, and juggling that with work and childcare afterwards, that's the real challenge.
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