Caught girlfriend dad ****ging me off

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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In need of some advice. Lockdown has us all goijg crazy, and ours lives have all changed for the meanwhile, which means at the moment i am habing to work from home in my GF parent home while we save for our mortgage.

Anyway, yesterday i went and played for while GF was at work to clear me head and as i pulled up to house, i could hear he dad shouting at her mum calling me a c**t. He was saying he was fed up of coming and seeing that c**t at my table, fed up of seeing that c**t cooking in my house. All of this he said to me at beginning of lockdown to do. I was stuck in 2 minds whether to go in and punch his abusive lights out or just drive away and ring GF. I chose the latter.

I understand its her dad and feel sorry she has to put up with this ******* everyday. He workes hard granted but at almost 60 spends his whole weekend by a wine bottle or beer can. He has no self control. She apologised and i told her not to as its not her fault, she should not be apologising for someone who is double her age and cant handle his drink ever.

I came back and ignored him as my girlfriend thought i was going to leave her over it. Im sticking with her but i actually hate her dad now. He always claims he is right by making the suggestion he is at the table. He makes his wife feel as if she cant sit down so when she comes home she gets up and pretends she is cleaning. His views are disgusting. He hates germans as his dad fought in the war and he believes as germans are nazis (ive never been brought up like this and it makes me so mad that he talks like that). I one day told him that i thought german people were brilliant and never had a bad experiance with one. He then shut me up in front of his whole family and said i didnt know what i was talking about as he was drunk. He wouldnt dare say this if he werent, because he knows id put him on his arse.

He seems like a real nacassist ******. When i got up this morning i refused to go downstairs as i no longer feel welcome. My GF then said she knew i would continue this. I was gobsmasked, as if i should just forget about the fact that i had heard her ******* dad slateing me, knowing full well i wasnt there to defend myself as he is a coward.

Im not breaking up with GF obviously. But dont think i can move on from this. I know its just words but its revolting and has really pissed me off. Any advice or words would be amazing
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behopeful235
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just try and ignore him you and your girlfriend, and after lockdown keep away from him and don't associate yourself with him
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1582
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Being stuck in the middle, your girlfriend wants peace rather than to prolong conflict. It's an awful situation to be stuck in and there is no right move for her to make. If she sides with you, she upsets her father. If she sides with her father, she upsets you. She can't win. So when she asks you to not continue this, she's not trying to undermine your feelings but is instead just trying to get things back to normal as quick as possible.

After lockdown, it is probably better if the two of you move out and rent a flat together. It might put your savings plan back but clearly this living situation is not working out and her father resents that you are living with them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
Being stuck in the middle, your girlfriend wants peace rather than to prolong conflict. It's an awful situation to be stuck in and there is no right move for her to make. If she sides with you, she upsets her father. If she sides with her father, she upsets you. She can't win. So when she asks you to not continue this, she's not trying to undermine your feelings but is instead just trying to get things back to normal as quick as possible.

After lockdown, it is probably better if the two of you move out and rent a flat together. It might put your savings plan back but clearly this living situation is not working out and her father resents that you are living with them.
Id love to. Im just struggling to keep my mouth shut and pretending im happy with what i heard. Its been 5 days and im still as angry as i was then.

She is undertstanding, and keeps saying i understand and am embarassed but it is my dad. I keep telling her that just becauses its your dad doesnt mean i have to have a relationship with him.

It sums him up. Hes gone on a rampage and verbally attacked me instead of taking the easy route and asking if i would move. I hate him now.
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marple
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Id love to. Im just struggling to keep my mouth shut and pretending im happy with what i heard. Its been 5 days and im still as angry as i was then.

She is undertstanding, and keeps saying i understand and am embarassed but it is my dad. I keep telling her that just becauses its your dad doesnt mean i have to have a relationship with him.

It sums him up. Hes gone on a rampage and verbally attacked me instead of taking the easy route and asking if i would move. I hate him now.
What on earth are you doing living there? It sounds a horrible situation, but you haven't got much option but to put up with it or move out. You are not his responsibility and it sounds very much as if he resents you being there. Are you paying rent, contributing towards bills? Surely it would be easier for the 2 of you to get your own place. You can view flats on line and get something sorted pretty quickly if you're both working.
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harrysbar
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Id love to. Im just struggling to keep my mouth shut and pretending im happy with what i heard. Its been 5 days and im still as angry as i was then.

She is undertstanding, and keeps saying i understand and am embarassed but it is my dad. I keep telling her that just becauses its your dad doesnt mean i have to have a relationship with him.

It sums him up. Hes gone on a rampage and verbally attacked me instead of taking the easy route and asking if i would move. I hate him now.
Could you move back in with your own family as it sounds like a bit of an emergency situation?
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