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How do i go no contact with a narcissistic parent?

I'm 17 years old, and currently living with my mother but when I go to university , I'd like to cut off contact with her and move into my uni accommodation. I'm scared that other people in my family will talk me out of it and stuff but I'm going to be an 18-year-old adult and they can't really do anything to stop me. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? It's going to be scary but I've been thinking about it for a while, and I personally think it's the right decision for me.

Reply 1

HoldThisL

most people will rely on their parents to qualify for the above-minimum maintenance loan

your relationship may be worse than you're letting on but you can never avoid your mother entirely no matter how much you want to. if literally nothing else, at some point you'll have to deal with her death but in all seriousness you can't estrange yourself from one family member without the others thinking you're weird because it is

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

unless you mother is evil
why cut contact?? that's extremely weird

Reply 3

Pathway

When I was at university I didn't speak to my dad at all, I was essentially no contact with him, whilst still talking to my mum (and seeing her) and occasionally speaking with my brother. Things are a little different now as I have to live with my parents as I am disabled, but my dad's barely in the country and I sometimes go months/weeks without talking to him even when he is here living in the same house.

It's not easy, but if you truly don't think there's anyway to salvage the relationship or to protect yourself MH wise (and physically) then you have to create and stick to boundaries.

I'm sorry that it has come to this for you, OP. Please make sure you seek help for your mental health too whilst you're at university. It's important. You might also want to check out r/CPTSD on Reddit as no/low contact with people is often discussed there.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

unless you mother is evil
why cut contact?? that's extremely weird

In shortness, yes she is. I think i know my own mother lol. She's far from a 'good person.' I have my reasons why I want to go no contact and if u honestly don't have any advice then refrain from commenting, please.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by HoldThisL

I mean if I cut off contact with my mother, my family most likely wouldn't want to speak with me anyway, and I would take that risk to be fair. I would probably stay in contact with my father and some of my cousins but that's about it.

Reply 6

londonmyst

You must put your own physical safety, mental health and future first. :smile:

I escaped from my parents home before a level results were out seven years ago.
I will never go back, keep my address private and cut all contact with my surviving ancestors.

If you decide to end all parental contact, you will have to be able to work part time and arrange your own accommodation.
In my experience, students under 20 who don't have a social worker and did not experience the foster system only qualify for the minimum maintenance loan.
Stand Alone is a charity that supports students who have either chosen to end all contact or been disowned by their relatives- https://www.standalone.org.uk/students/
Good luck!