Someone make the decision for me!

Right so this is my situation:

I had an awful first year at uni, even though I have a pretty good "student" personality (outgoing, like clubbing, drinking, generally hanging out til the early hours etc etc) I struggled to connect with people in halls and on my course, ended up feeling extremely isolated and getting a bit depressed. This had a huge effect on me academically, I've done well enough to get into 2nd year, but only just- meaning there's no way I'll be able to do a year in industry (plus all my tutors now think I'm extremely lazy/stupid). The way it works in in this city means you have to sign a housing contract by jan, so it's extremely rushed and as a consequence I'm now living with 3 people who are ok- but I definitely don't see as friends. My mates from home know two of the guys I'm living with and agree they'd be pretty unhappy in a house with them. Anyway this is extremely summarised, but it was a really really unhappy time for me- especially when I'd had such high expectations of it in the first place. I want to live out my freshers year the way I'd planned, you only get one chance at uni and I don't want to have **** memories of it and come out of the three years unhappy and depressed.

I clawed my way out of my mood slump and took some action, getting myself a place on the same course at a different uni (York) it's also very good, in the league tables it's slightly better overall, slightly worse for my subject. I have a chance at another go at being happy at uni- academically and socially.

However, this means redoing my first year so,
1. I have effectively wasted 10 grand in tuition fees and accomodation for last year
2. I have a housing contract which my parents have already paid 2 months worth of rent.
3. I know people are going to judge me for this- dropping out of uni to just redo the same year somewhere else

Ahhhh the stress of it is driving me crazy, I haven't been able to eat for days. Any opinions on this would be welcomed :smile:

Reply 1

Kagutsuchi

It's your life.

But if you want me to make the decision for you:

Go to York.

Reply 2

grace_

You sound as if you would prefer to go to York but are feeling guilty that you might be letting your parents down by not continuing where you are.

If you go to York, you could have a fresh start and you would be at an advantage because you are already familiar with a lot of the material in the first year of the course.

That said, you would essentially be paying to re-do the same - or a very similar - course in different surroundings. There is also no guarantee that, despite your intentions, you will end up with better results from York than you got from your original uni.

If you are genuinely unhappy where you are - and have good reason to think that you would continue to be unhappy next year - then you would be better to change universities and go to York.

A few other things to consider might be that you would be re-doing the first year with people who are new to university. Living away from home with new people will probably be a fresh and exciting experience for them, and you might not feel the same way any more, as you've already experienced freshers' week and meeting/living with new people. You would probably have more in common with people who've had a gap year than those who have come straight from school - and do you want to have all those "where are you from and what A-levels did you do?" conversations again!

Another thing to consider might be how you are going to explain the apparent extra year/change of uni but not course to prospective employers in 3 or 4 years time.

Are you sure that you would have exactly the same tutors next year, and that there is no chance of you getting experience in industry if you stay where you are?

If you want to go to York, think that it would really suit you and are certain that you want a completely fresh start, then I think that you should go for it; as you've said, it's your life, you're not enjoying it and there is no point in only having bad memories of your time at a university you hated.

Good luck with your decision!

Reply 3

BlackHawk

Don't move, don't redo the year. I assume it's a three year course, thus you're 1/3 of the way through. the fact you didn't do well socially in your first year will mean nothing to you by the time you graduate. There is no point in repeating a year because you 'struggled to connect with people'.

1. waste of money
2. waste of time
3. You've no guarantee the same won't happen in York

Reply 4

Summer24

I think the most important thing in life is your health and I don’t mean to patronise you but you do sound a little depressed. I know is really lovely having your friends around or making new friends at university, however personally I don’t think it’s vital. Your education is more important than socialising. However if you are seriously unhappy then I could move university. Everything happens for a reason! I can reassure you that this unpleasant experience will strengthen your character and make you a more authentic individual. When one is lonely or isolated, then one becomes independent. I can’t make the decision for you but I can sympathise since a similar thing happened to me in the 1st year of college. I made new friends and really got on with them however they turned against me and become my worse enemies, I used to be sooo depressed, my mom said she doesn’t know me anymore! But I stayed for a second year tried my best to ignore the girls and made some amazing new friends who influenced me to do well and I was happy once again.
So sorry for the long message!!! Lol but I hope it’s helped. One thing I’ve learned is that NOTHING is worthy getting upset/ depressed about. Your health and happiness is all you need! : )

Reply 5

matty600

You've got to be selfish in life sometimes go to York :smile:

Reply 6

Dr.Hox

Dont go anywhere. Wasting that much money is just plain ridiculous and theres no guarantee that it will be better at York.

Stick it out, try harder to make friends.

Reply 7

Crips

Whilst I can fully appreciate that you have had an awful year and it has had a serious impact on your state of mind, you're not guarenteed things will be different. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side... because of all the ****** on it. If you do redo your first year and have the same problem, you will be stuck with another 3 years of uphill whereby you currently only have 2 more to go. You need to remember, whilst university is an 'experience' it is supposed to be an investment in your future. If I were you, I would knuckle down and make the best of your last two years so that you can come out smelling of roses. Good luck hun :biggrin:

and *hugs* for your bad year :biggrin:

Reply 8

Good bloke

BlackHawk

I completely, 100% agree. :yep:

You would be much better off joining a couple of societies or taking up a sport or two and making friends in a constructive, sober kind of way and setting a few goals for yourself.

Reply 9

butterflyred

I can relate to a certain extent to what you're saying; I went to uni for the first time around 3 years ago and was miserable. Like you, I found it difficult to make friends, but also didn't enjoy how the course was taught. I sought advice from friends at home, and confided in my parents (this was my main concern as I was worried about the money they had already paid for accomodation etc). Thankfully, my mum and dad happen to be amazing and my dad told me that he just wanted me to be happy. It was such a relief as I felt that I had stuck it out as long as I could, and didn't want to spend 4 years in such a state. Anyway, to cut a long story short I took a year out to work and save some money, and then applied to another uni to do the same course. BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.
I'm not saying that this is necessarily what you should do, but a lot of people change uni's after their first year or the first few months for various reasons. I would discuss things fully with your parents and give it a lot of thought, perhaps even consider taking some time out before you make a decision. There are no guarantees that switching uni's would make you any happier or allow you to make the kind of friends you are seeking.