Why do Jews have long lasting marriages?

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Anonymous #1
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They seem much more family oriented and seem to have a good relationship with their spouses.
Why so?
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Realitysreflexx
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Because they have been forced together via society's hatred, and jews are also from asia which is more communal anyways then individualistic British culture.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Realitysreflexx)
Because they have been forced together via society's hatred, and jews are also from asia which is more communal anyways then individualistic British culture.
Middle east not Asia?
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Realitysreflexx
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Middle east is on the continent of Asia...
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BlueIndigoViolet
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Divorce is possible but often will resolve it themselves due to undertaking a contractual bond with God to stay together, also unlike some people in the West, marriage is seen as sacred and something to last your whole life

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Get_(divorce_document)
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becausethenight
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I mean, it’s a bit of a cliche, but family is deeply important in Judaism, if not the most important thing - marriage is considered the cornerstone of the Jewish community. Most people marrying will have had to have awkward rabbinical convos about how committed they are, and will have been encouraged not to if they’re not serious. You also get a lot of community support. The same could be maybe said of different religions (I don’t know enough to say), but marriage is really really important in Judaism, so people take it seriously. That said, it seems pretty hard to get data on this sort of thing (due to religious and civil ceremonies taking place at different times, or religious divorces not being recognised) so it may just be a stereotype!
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londonmyst
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Because teaching their children conservative family values have always ranked highly as a priority amongst religious orientated members of the jewish community.
Many members of the jewish community who don't believe in God seem to view marriage as a sacred binding lifelong commitment with an extremely negative perception of divorce.

I've noticed that attitudes on divorce do seem to vary greatly between: the more traditionalist sects in the uk/usa/france/germany, people with a reform or secular mindset who have never had a divorce in their family going back at least a dozen generations and Israeli jews where at least two generations of the family have served in the military. The latter seem to be most accepting of divorce and divorced persons.
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becausethenight
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Many members of the jewish community who don't believe in God seem to view marriage as a sacred binding lifelong commitment with an extremely negative perception of divorce.
Can confirm this. My mum, one of the most secular people you'll meet, was still delighted my bf was Jewish as "oh, he'll take it seriously and you'll have a nice stable relationship!"

Divorce is pretty well accepted in Judaism, afaik, although there is still some social stigma (often depending on the reason for divorce). It's treated as a breach of contract, and there's often a lot of pressure to not divorce if there hasn't been that clear breach (ie no domestic abuse, no affair etc).
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5hyl33n
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I’ve met a few Jewish men who don’t treat their wives right.

My mum works at the airport and she says they can be quite rude and barely interact (even before the pandemic).

However, I wouldn’t generalise this to all Jewish people.
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Anonymous #2
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so few of them they dont want to risk not having anyone?
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londonmyst
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(Original post by becausethenight)
Can confirm this. My mum, one of the most secular people you'll meet, was still delighted my bf was Jewish as "oh, he'll take it seriously and you'll have a nice stable relationship!"

Divorce is pretty well accepted in Judaism, afaik, although there is still some social stigma (often depending on the reason for divorce). It's treated as a breach of contract, and there's often a lot of pressure to not divorce if there hasn't been that clear breach (ie no domestic abuse, no affair etc).
I've noticed that in a lot of divorce cases amongst the staunch religious traditionalists of Judaism, the priority at adr and with mediation that involves faith leaders in England seems to be to avoid divorce at all costs- even where admissions of adultery or serious violence are involved.
Three of my female coworkers are karaites with ancestors from Egypt and Iraq, no family history of divorce and all they seem absolutely terrified of being the first.

Almost identical situation with a lot of catholics, religious asian women of all religions and almost all fundamentalist christians.
My friend is a single fundamentalist christian in her mid 20s who believes in quiverfull and openly admits she would rather be dead than divorced or a widowed single parent. Even if the spouse was in prison for serious violence or had children as a result of an extramarital affair.
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Wired_1800
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Not all though. However, it is generally frowned upon.
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becausethenight
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(Original post by londonmyst)
I've noticed that in a lot of divorce cases amongst the staunch religious traditionalists of Judaism, the priority at adr and with mediation that involves faith leaders in England seems to be to avoid divorce at all costs- even where admissions of adultery or serious violence are involved.
Three of my female coworkers are karaites with ancestors from Egypt and Iraq, no family history of divorce and all they seem absolutely terrified of being the first.

Almost identical situation with a lot of catholics, religious asian women of all religions and almost all fundamentalist christians.
My friend is a single fundamentalist christian in her mid 20s who believes in quiverfull and openly admits she would rather be dead than divorced or a widowed single parent. Even if the spouse was in prison for serious violence or had children as a result of an extramarital affair.
I'm sorry to hear your friends are in that situation. As far as I'm concerned, the Jewish divorce courts are obliged to grant a divorce in situations of domestic abuse/adultery, and not to do so is to go against Jewish law. I can well believe that some religious fundamentalists are abusing the meditation process and enabling abuse by refusing divorces, and that's awful and deplorable.

I wanted to emphasise that divorce is accepted in Judaism in contrast with certain branches of Christianity, where divorce is effectively prohibited. But you're right, there is still social stigma around divorce and abuse of the divorce courts, and we need to end that and clean up our communities!
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amrom18
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Its dead simple. Jews really understand and value a relationship and realise that there is more to marriage than just looks and basic similarities. Also as jews are very much bonded in thier communities, core values and ethical understanding is very much similar... This is a very brief answer...
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