The Student Room Group

Don't think I can handle life.

I just don't know whats going on in my head but Im 23 and prone to anxiety, I think deep down there is something wrong with me and Ive lost conciousness 5 times in the past and it feels like its going to happen again when I have a panic attack. Im not seeing a councillor anymore or trying drugs I think this is all down to my personality more than anything I think theres something wrong/strange about me and even though I can act normal the weirdness is still there deep down. Ive always been overconcious and strange ever since infant school I was odd and would never smile in front of anyone and got embarrased a lot. When I see people I recognise from early school I think back to how normal they were with there friends trying to get me to play with them but I was always funny with them (my mum used to yell cause I wouldn't make friends) and it makes me really anxious for some reason, I get scared my ear will start ringing and I'l faint no idea why I associate this with them. Even at 23 I still feel strange and have no friends. I have the ability to make them and can act normal but the strangeness/anxiety will get in the way. Im aware I sound like a nutter but Im confused, can't really explain Im not saying Im special but have this deep feeling that something is strange/wrong with me. Im also worried I might develop schizophrenia as the symptoms sound similar to this, I work with mentally ill people and alhough Im nowhere near as bad (they go through allsorts) I can see myself ending up in their position. Ive always been really reserved and found it hard to get friends even though I know I can be friendly (if a bit boring). I don't want to grow up and have a family of my own I doubt I could manage it yet there are 19 year olds married with kids, Im scared of leaving my parents after all they are the ones who care the most right? Im an only child and lived in the same place all my life. Anyway I doubt I can change this thinking Im strange thing and getting anxious over it Ive had it all my life but I just want to be like everyone else, any ideas:confused:

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Reply 1
oops should have done it in spaces and paragraphs to make it easier to read, sorry!
Yes. Click your heels, and bam, you'll be just like everyone else.

No. Firstly, all people can offer you here is vague comfort. Go and see some sort of therapist, talk to your GP. Secondly, there is no such thing as a "normal" person. You are who you are, and you create your own normality; trust me, we don't all conform to some sort of norm that you're not part of.

G'luck.
I have the exact same problem!
I think it's down to self-confidence myself...I don't know.
When I was a kid I HATED making friends and always felt like I was weird, I was painfully shy though. I don't know why I was shy because my mum made me join so many clubs, such as swimming, drama, brownies.. and I have still grown up being really shy! It's horrible. I'm 18 now, and I thought It was just to do with age.
My mum said she was exactly the same as me when she was younger. She hated her 20's and actually came out of her shell in her 30's!
Reply 4
DisgruntledMoth
Yes. Click your heels, and bam, you'll be just like everyone else.

No. Firstly, all people can offer you here is vague comfort. Go and see some sort of therapist, talk to your GP. Secondly, there is no such thing as a "normal" person. You are who you are, and you create your own normality; trust me, we don't all conform to some sort of norm that you're not part of.

G'luck.


I realise there is no such thing as normal but I think part of my problem is part of me doesn't want to grow up and fit into society, I don't know why. I want to be someone who wants to join society. Ive just been hiding away from the rat race for the past few years and have been nocturnal with no job, recently got a job and it takes the pressure off (as in people won't think Im lazy) but at the same time makes me realise how crap life is. No one likes work admitted but most seem to enjoy pubs and socialising, the only things I enjoy are things I do on my own and this is probably causing the whole problem.
Reply 5
You're a human being. You don't have an extra "weirdness" gene. Something must have gone wrong during your upbringing. That doesn't mean that you can't be helped. Return to your doctor. Unlike you, they know how to deal with situations you like this.
Reply 6
Anonymous
I have the exact same problem!
I think it's down to self-confidence myself...I don't know.
When I was a kid I HATED making friends and always felt like I was weird, I was painfully shy though. I don't know why I was shy because my mum made me join so many clubs, such as swimming, drama, brownies.. and I have still grown up being really shy! It's horrible. I'm 18 now, and I thought It was just to do with age.
My mum said she was exactly the same as me when she was younger. She hated her 20's and actually came out of her shell in her 30's!


Yea I went to clubs like those and really enjoyed them, but if I went to those sort of things now Id just feel anxious, not social anxiety but like a trapped anxiety where I can't wait to get home. Its interesting about your mum, hopefully you will take after her, they say life starts at 30! lol
Reply 7
Bismarck
You're a human being. You don't have an extra "weirdness" gene. Something must have gone wrong during your upbringing. That doesn't mean that you can't be helped. Return to your doctor. Unlike you, they know how to deal with situations you like this.


It really does feel like I have an extra weirdness gene lol but your right I think its all to do with my personality I don't think anything went wrong I just interpreted everything in weird ways maybe. Ive seena councillor about teh anxiety but I can't talk about all this deep stuff to a professional but if I did I think they would just try and change my outlook of things, thats the way therapy works isn't it.
Reply 8
Anonymous
It really does feel like I have an extra weirdness gene lol but your right I think its all to do with my personality I don't think anything went wrong I just interpreted everything in weird ways maybe. Ive seena councillor about teh anxiety but I can't talk about all this deep stuff to a professional but if I did I think they would just try and change my outlook of things, thats the way therapy works isn't it.


The effects of most personality disorders can be minimized with proper assistance. Don't start with the assumption that you can't be helped. Go to a doctor and tell them everything, and I mean everything. How do you expect them to help you when you don't tell them the entire story?
Anonymous
Yea I went to clubs like those and really enjoyed them, but if I went to those sort of things now Id just feel anxious, not social anxiety but like a trapped anxiety where I can't wait to get home. Its interesting about your mum, hopefully you will take after her, they say life starts at 30! lol



Yeah, i tried to join a club at the leisure centre last week with my friend.. got there and chickened out!! where ever I am i just cant wait to go home either and be by myself! this actually just makes it worse though!
Have you gone to uni? I'm gonna make myself go in september..I need to step out my comfort zone to deal with this problem otherwise its just gonna get worse and worse... maybe with you getting a job it will get better. I know what you mean though when I was working a lot last year I hated it..it wasn't the job, just socialising with the staff etc..!
Bismarck
The effects of most personality disorders can be minimized with proper assistance. Don't start with the assumption that you can't be helped. Go to a doctor and tell them everything, and I mean everything. How do you expect them to help you when you don't tell them the entire story?



A doctor? to be honest I know exactly what the OP feels like and no doctor can sort it out
Reply 11
Anonymous
A doctor? to be honest I know exactly what the OP feels like and no doctor can sort it out


Have you even ever been to a mental health specialist (psychologist or psychiatrist)? If you never told a doctor all your problems, how exactly can you blame them for not being able to solve them? It's like coming to a doctor with a broken foot, telling them that you cut your finger, and then wondering why he didn't fix your foot. And lastly, unless you have a degree in medicine, you really aren't qualified to determine whether you could or can't be helped. So why not go to someone who is qualified? What do you have to lose? Would you rather experience some anxiety at having to sit with a professional once a week or would you prefer to remain the way you are for the rest of your life?
Me neither. 10 straight poker games without cashing a dollar! All against non profitable players too :C lost 70$.

fml
Bismarck
Have you even ever been to a mental health specialist (psychologist or psychiatrist)? If you never told a doctor all your problems, how exactly can you blame them for not being able to solve them? It's like coming to a doctor with a broken foot, telling them that you cut your finger, and then wondering why he didn't fix your foot. And lastly, unless you have a degree in medicine, you really aren't qualified to determine whether you could or can't be helped. So why not go to someone who is qualified? What do you have to lose? Would you rather experience some anxiety at having to sit with a professional once a week or would you prefer to remain the way you are for the rest of your life?


what a load of ****! you can see all the mental health specialists in the world but it still wont change you, they might try and make you think differently about situations.
The answer really is to get out there in the world and get socializing, instead of hiding away. Its easier said than done though.
It comes naturally to most people but others like me and the OP have always found it hard and have tried to avoid situations where we feel anxious, which then of course makes it worse in the longrun...
I can kind of relate to this. But I would say even at college I wasn't as open as I am now. I am such a different person now to school. I can remember situations and think god why didn't i tell them to p--- off or stand up to them.

I am weird, deep down, maybe we all are in our own way. Unique is good. However, there is more than counselling, there are deeper ways to change thought processes and ways to make you 'relive' experiences from childhood. They can help and I do think you should see your GP. I was on anti depressants for years on end, but I haven't had them for about 3 years now. In the past, work and college were the main triggers.
Anonymous
A doctor? to be honest I know exactly what the OP feels like and no doctor can sort it out


Well, I have exactly the same problems as the OP, but I'm, for the majority of the time, happy with what and who I am as a person. I, like the OP and you, suffer from the occaisional panic attack, and the only company I really enjoy is my own. I'm painfully shy around others, but it doesn't ruin my life. It's things like this which make up personality and perhaps cannot be changed, but if it's to the extreme of losing conciousness, then he/ she needs medical advice.
Reply 16
Anonymous
what a load of ****! you can see all the mental health specialists in the world but it still wont change you, they might try and make you think differently about situations.
The answer really is to get out there in the world and get socializing, instead of hiding away. Its easier said than done though.
It comes naturally to most people but others like me and the OP have always found it hard and have tried to avoid situations where we feel anxious, which then of course makes it worse in the longrun...


What exactly do you think mental health specialists do if not aid people in overcoming their anxiety? :s-smilie:
Bismarck
What exactly do you think mental health specialists do if not aid people in overcoming their anxiety? :s-smilie:


they try and 'help' people overcome their anxiety, but can't really help. Deep down it's only the person who can help themselves.
Anonymous
they try and 'help' people overcome their anxiety, but can't really help. Deep down it's only the person who can help themselves.


Which they're encouraged and taught to do by...
Reply 19
Anonymous
they try and 'help' people overcome their anxiety, but can't really help. Deep down it's only the person who can help themselves.


I'm sorry to say but the entire field of psychology indicates otherwise.