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I think my boyfriends depressed and I feel useless.

I've noticed some pretty drastic behaviour from him over the past 3 months...For example, totally depressed, not having any motivation he just feels sad all the time and even told him he feels suicidal! This was very scary to hear! This can last for a weeks weeks then days like today where hes up early jumping around the house pulling everything out and erratically cleaning and scrubbing even singing just a completely different person!!
He also gets very moody suddenly and very rude and upsetting saying he wants space and his house back yet when I say okay I going to back to my mums he becomes very upset and doesn't seems to know what he wants.
He also has weeks where he doesn't want any sexual contact and this makes me feel like **** because I feel hes not attracted to me and I feel like ive done something wrong or I'm not good enough. Basically I just dont know what to do is this normal behaviour?
I dont know how to deal with this I am trying my best to be patient but as you can imagine it's very emotional and upsetting for me, when hes in his moods is has absolutely no regard for how I feel.
I love him very very much but I dont know how to cope myself?

Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks x
1)have u tried asking
2)give him some space
3)tell him how you feel
4)if u need to talk it out you can
Reply 2
Avatar for Surnia
Surnia
20
This is not normal behaviour by your boyfriend, but is nothing to do with him not being attracted to you or you doing anything wrong; it is a mental health problem that is making him say and do these things. Do you know his family well enough to discuss this with them? Can you talk to your GP, could your boyfriend be persuaded to go to his doctor or find counselling? How does he get on with your family, would he listen to one of them? You also need to make your family aware of this for your sake, as it's a lot of emotion for you to deal with when a relationship is going wrong for any reason, but particularly when it is with the mood swings that you are having to put up with.

However, there's a saying that you cant help those who don't help themselves. You and other people can make as many suggestions as you like, but it has to be your boyfriend who not only recognises that he needs help, but does something about it.

Worse case scenario, you have to break up with him. It's not a healthy situation for you to be in and ultimately you may need to walk away and not feel guilt over it. You're not a medical professional so don't think you can be the one to change him or that things will get better, on their own or with help..

This is serious, so don't put it off. Speak to someone asap, and take care!
being depressed is a mental health problem, and not everyone knows how to tackle it which is totally understandable. you need to have a sit down conversation with him where you express how important it is for him to communicate with you and for him to maybe get some help - it makes neither of you a coward, it makes you strong for wanting your relationship to last.

everything is worsened by lockdown - we all feel a little bit lower than we did previously. if he doesn't take action, then you might need to step away as the best thing you can do for him. it's not a healthy environment and you have to make sure you keep afloat too. better case, take a break.

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