Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
Ive never told anyone in my life (apart from a therapist) and wanted to share my story for anyone in a similar position or anyone that can help me.

This happened when i was either 11/12 (I am male), and i was made to do oral sex on my brother who at the time was 16. at the time i had no idea it was even bad and was very close to telling my friends about it at school to see if they had done it too. I wasnt physically forced into it but as i was young and inexperienced i thought it was fine and went ahead.

since it happened its only been mentioned once when i was around 14-15 and he essentially completely avoided the question and got embarrased and walked off. since then its never been mentioned.

dealing with it i think i sometimes get ptsd, flashbacks and every couple of months or so i start thinking about how disgusting it was and makes me very uncomfortable.

Ive been very stuck on whether to tell anyone or what to do about it for a few years, im 19 now.
Thanks.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 2 weeks ago
#2
I’m sorry for you
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m sorry for you
thanks, it helps a lot when i tell other people, takes a weight off my shoulder, though i dont know if im ready to tell my family yet. im thinking of telling my best friend soon though
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SofiaScarlett
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#4
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#4
I'm so sorry this happened to you
I think telling someone will help you a lot so it's 100% worth it.
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Anonymous #3
#5
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#5
what's your relationship like with your brother now?
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
what's your relationship like with your brother now?
he doesnt live with me at the moment as he is at uni, but its a relatively small relationship. we dont talk that much, probably once every month or so, he obviously remembers and is nervous to talk about it, it might be why we arent that close as brothers
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JohnB1
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#7
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#7
What you have been though is very traumatic. At 16, your brother knew what he was doing, and it was wrong to take advantage of your innocence. He is clearly embarrassed about what happened, but that doesn't make it right. It is good that you are seeing a therapist, as speaking about the incident and how it continues to make you feel is important. What do you want to happen now? It is very easy for people to tell you their opinion, but ultimately it is up to you. Has your therapist spoken to you about possible next steps? Do you want to repair the relationship with your brother, or let members of your family know what he did and the affect this has had on you? Have you considered sitting down with your brother to talk about it? I know that this would be very uncomfortable for you both though. Whatever you decide to do, take care and stay safe.
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Anonymous #4
#8
Report 6 days ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ive never told anyone in my life (apart from a therapist) and wanted to share my story for anyone in a similar position or anyone that can help me.

This happened when i was either 11/12 (I am male), and i was made to do oral sex on my brother who at the time was 16. at the time i had no idea it was even bad and was very close to telling my friends about it at school to see if they had done it too. I wasnt physically forced into it but as i was young and inexperienced i thought it was fine and went ahead.

since it happened its only been mentioned once when i was around 14-15 and he essentially completely avoided the question and got embarrased and walked off. since then its never been mentioned.

dealing with it i think i sometimes get ptsd, flashbacks and every couple of months or so i start thinking about how disgusting it was and makes me very uncomfortable.

Ive been very stuck on whether to tell anyone or what to do about it for a few years, im 19 now.
Thanks.
omg i hope you are ok!! that's terrible. you should definitely speak up, sexual assault is NOT OK!!!! by opening up, you are encouraging other young males and females to do so, i know it may be hard but it is worth it, and assists others, as well as removing a burden of yourself!!
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Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#9
(Original post by JohnB1)
What you have been though is very traumatic. At 16, your brother knew what he was doing, and it was wrong to take advantage of your innocence. He is clearly embarrassed about what happened, but that doesn't make it right. It is good that you are seeing a therapist, as speaking about the incident and how it continues to make you feel is important. What do you want to happen now? It is very easy for people to tell you their opinion, but ultimately it is up to you. Has your therapist spoken to you about possible next steps? Do you want to repair the relationship with your brother, or let members of your family know what he did and the affect this has had on you? Have you considered sitting down with your brother to talk about it? I know that this would be very uncomfortable for you both though. Whatever you decide to do, take care and stay safe.
it was my last session with my therapist and it was more like something i wanted to get off my chest so she just asked me if i wanted to tell anyone and i said im not sure.

honeslty i dont know if i want to repair the relationship or not, im completely torn. its the same with what i want to happen next, im stuck and dont know where to go, i dont really have an optimal way to go forward yet
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JohnB1
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#10
Report 5 days ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
it was my last session with my therapist and it was more like something i wanted to get off my chest so she just asked me if i wanted to tell anyone and i said im not sure.

honeslty i dont know if i want to repair the relationship or not, im completely torn. its the same with what i want to happen next, im stuck and dont know where to go, i dont really have an optimal way to go forward yet
I appreciate that this is extremely difficult for you. You can only do what is right for you. I am no therapist, but if you do just need someone to talk to you are welcome to PM me. Take care and stay safe.
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