upset and confused about results.

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Dam. Sibling support can be very useful, but they've evidently been brainwashed by your parents.

Oh, and on the Uni application - I was typing when you posted that, so missed it - if you want to do geography, DO GEOGRAPHY. It is your life, you going to Uni, you studying for however long it is, and, usually, you who will be paying of the debts getting your degree creates. You don't need your parents permisson to enter UCAS, or to apply for a course...not that I remember, anyway.

You might want to consider showing your parents some of the replies from this thread - seems like a longshot, but maybe it might make them step back a little and realise how good your grades actually are? A friend of mine got an E in Alevel chemistry, and was over the moon, because it was a grade and not a U. I remain proudest of my C in GCSE welsh :p:

Reply 41

cuddles x

Prince Rhyus

More than happy to - your parents are being incredibly immature. (Well done on the grades BTW - anyone coming out with a string of grades above C has done brilliantly). With exams, sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don't. I got unlucky with my A-Levels. I should have got AABC but came out with ABBD because of a couple of really bad exams which TBH you really cannot compensate for.

It sounds like you need support in the face of disappointment and all you are receiving is punishment.

It sounds like your parents see your exam results as a judgement on themselves - that you had to get top results so that they could go round to their social group to say "Oh, our daughter came away with a clutch of As for her GCSEs, aren't we wonderful parents!" I saw this mindset all the way through school, college and university. All my siblings and I went through university, went to "good" universities and all got 2:1s, leaving a string of graduation photos on the piano (that no one plays!) for all and sundry to see. Didn't change the fact that I had a miserable time at university (I'm still on medication as a result of it) and that the standard of my course was very low - using my A-Level revision notes as the basis for the notes for my finals. But hey, the university is still highly respected, as is the subject. But academic certificates don't show the stories behind the grades.

What grades was the college asking for? Have things really changed over the past 10 years where colleges are now asking people for all As to get in to do A-Levels? (I went to Hills Road in Cambridge - one of the top-scoring colleges in the country and even they didn't insist on that.)

You have not ruined your future at all - there's a greater risk that their bad attitudes will have a negative impact on your future.

Middle England is stuck in this mindset of life being made up of the following:

Born-nursery-good school (all As)-good college(all As)-top university(respectable subject and a 2:1 minimum)-good job-marry-children-retire-die

As a 16 year old I was a firm believer of the above and that anyone who fell off the above was a failure condemned to a menial existence to serve those of us who remained on it - until I came perilously close to falling off it myself.

Have a look at http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2002/feb/13/familyandrelationships.annekarpf

There is a similar article written around the same time featuring a mother who sees herself as a failure because out of her 3 children who went to university, 1 dropped out and the other two graduated with low scores and didn't go into high-flying graduate jobs.

What should matter is the amount of effort you put in, and what you learnt from the experience. It's hard enough dealing with the judgement of an over-worked and underpaid examiner without having the extra judgement that comes from people over your grades.

wow your very good at analysing.. :smile:

Thank you..
my college requires B's in everything your taking BUT they let me in Because i was one of the few to get predicted A's. and there are others thatare predicted A's and got them so im out of the picture. also its a sixth form and im from another school in london and they only let in 3 external students each year. i was one of them.

Reply 42

Prince Rhyus

cuddles x

wow your very good at analysing.. :smile:

Anytime

Has the sixth form concerned given a final "No"? Do you know where you will be going to instead?

You never know, it could be a blessing in disguise and that wherever you will be going will be more suited to you. Several of my friends dropped out of what was the best state sixth form college in the country to go back to my old school because they were ever so unhappy there. With hindsight the least I should have done was to have changed subjects within my first month. But I lacked the courage and it was also during the time (late 1990s) when there was no pastoral support. (The place was full of teachers with attitudes like your parents - As and Bs or you're a failure.)

Reply 43

cuddles x

More like A's and A*'s or your a failure.

Reply 44

username130457

**** what your parents say, **** what everybody else says. If you felt confident post-examination then you've probably tried your best, thus you shouldn't worry and triumph about your achievements!

Reply 45

cuddles x

You cant not worry when its all you hear at home. when everyone says the same thing - you've mucked up. its hard to forget it and ignore everyone else and just carry on when your parents are disappointed.

Reply 46

JulieP

I'm quite upset about Maths
I did M8, 9 & 10 and got over 95% in them, and my teacher said I did a decent coursework, and in the terminal I got 92% but overall I got 87% and only an A, I mean I'm not devestated or anything because an A is good but Maths was the one lesson I could actually get an A* in

Reply 47

cuddles x

congratulations anyway ... x an A is brilliant! x

Reply 48

PinPin

i'm in the same situation (kind of.)
i was expecting at least 3 a*s and ended up with just a's and b's. i spent yesterday crying and sleeping as well.
my parents aren't as harsh as yours sound but i know that my dad is disappointed.
i'm just going to work extra hard in as levels to prove to everyone (and myself) that i can get the results i want.

i can't offer much advice about your parents or anything, cos i had a friend whose parents were as yours sound and i know that nothing is going to change their frame of mind, but at least someone else knows how you feel :smile:

Reply 49

cuddles x

i do have to just say thank you all for your help... its nice to talk to other people about it..

once again thank you all

xx

Reply 50

Mozii

Hey.. I know its hard to ignore when your parents continue to repeat the same thing over and over again! however you should keep your head up high and now aim to achive great A level grades to prove your family wrong!

Can i ask what A levels your taking and what your aiming for a your future career??

Dont be so hard on yourself... if i had your grades i would be happy!!

I thought my grades were good...after coming on TSR ii dont feel as proud of myself as i did when i opened that envolope...xx

Reply 51

mfc20

sometimes people just muck up exams. if you think that you were 'meant' to get As you may have relaxed a bit etc. it seems that cos youre predicted grades were As you almost expected to get them, which could of beeen your downfall. and btw your parents need to get real. best of luck for the future though,.

Reply 52

The Epicurean

TBH it sounds as if your parents have put a lot of pressure on you, expecting you to do as well as your brothers. Obviously you've achieved the grades at mock but in the real thing the pressure has effected you. Also, even if you don't make it to your chosen college, it isn't the end of the world. I've heard of many people achieveing excelent grades at failing school/colleges, which means if you really put your heart into it, it doesn't matter what college you actually go to, you can achieve.

Reply 53

swingin_yoyo

Ok really think about doing 6AS levels, really think about that, because you want to guarantee a place at a good university and for that you only need four.

Reply 54

kiss_me_now9

If you go out onto the street and ask EVERYONE from 9 - 5:30 in the afternoon, I can garauntee you unless you're in Oxford or Cambridge :p:

very few of them will have got all A*s or As at GCSE and 95% of them won't be able to remember anyway.

Reply 55

Jooeee

I think your parents need to realise you are not your older brothers and thus may not achieve the same grades as them, not want to pursue the same kind of career routes they take. Like someone said before, IF YOU WANT to do Geography, then do it. You'll only regret how you took what your parents said to take later on. It's your life, and thus you should make your own choices. Your grades are great. I'm pretty sure you could get into any other college especially if you demonstrate to them that you do have the ability to acheive highly and to work hard. GCSE's aren't the be all and end all. To me, all they were, was exams that get you to the next level of your education, be it A-levels, national diplomas, apprenticeship and even work. Personally, i would never resit the GCSE's. You've got the results you need to go and do a-levels somewhere. Go and work hard at them and acheieve high UMS scores, and the top universities will still be accessible to you :wink:

Hope this helps and good luck finding somewhere.

Reply 56

SpyQueen

Why is everyone being so hard on the parents? What is so wrong with wanting your children to do well academically and get good jobs and have upward mobility? They are not childish, immature or horrible, they just wanted the best for their children, and thought that they were doing everything right. Why should effort be rewarded over achievement? They are disappointed, and they think, understandably given the evidence, that you slacked off. I'd be angry.

Your parents would probably be less angry if they knew that you were as disappointed as they are. My parents never punished me when I screwed up because they knew I'd have higher standards for myself and be harsher on myself than they ever could be.

Reply 57

Jooeee

SpyQueen

Any why should a parent be so hard (from what the OP says) almost disown their child, due to underacheviement? Sounds to me like your parents are the same.

Reply 58

SpyQueen

No, my parents aren't the same. My sister just finished with 1A* 3As 2Cs and the rest Bs. They didn't really know how to deal with it as they were significantly worse than my results, but they just went with well that is above average, she can do the A-levels she wants to do at the college she wants to go to and she's happy with that.

If she was my kid I'd hit the roof, but then I'd probably have parented her quite differently in the first place.

Reply 59

Miss_Scarlett

My brother is only in year 10 so its not really a massive thing. But he got BBCD for his modular results, the rents are fine with it- if I had of got that when I was his age (back in the day :p:

) there would of been one hell of an arguement. And its not because he is less academically able, he just doesnt work as much as he should. Who knows how parents think :p: