What level of physical affection between friends weird?

Watch
Dinosaursareneat
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 4 months ago
#1
I have a friend and my sister has told me we are weirdly affectionate with each other and that I'm cheating on my girlfriend. we hug lots, cuddle while watching movies, hold hands to comfort each other when stressed ( we both have severe anxiety) and occasionally a forehead kiss when we are particularly needing to show that we care. we regularly say I love you but he's gay/bi (mainly attracted to guys) and I'm mainly attracted to girls and I think he knows I mean it as a friendly/platonic way.

The idea of dating him sounds gross, like having sex with him or kissing him on the lips is not what I want and the idea of it makes me so uncomfortable. I love him and care greatly about him but as my closest friend, I didn't even really consider that I was cheating because I love my girlfriend and I'm just as (and probably more) physically affectionate with her, and I am totally on board with having a physically romantic and (when we're ready sexual) relationship and that makes me so happy.

Is this weird, am I cheating? I'm always physically affectionate with friends in a sense of hugs and hand holding but it's just far more intense with this friend (probably because we both struggle with our mental health and struggle with talking so touch is our way of comforting each other). should I take a step back from the physical affection or is this 'normal' between close friends.
0
reply
ohdearstudying
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#2
Report 4 months ago
#2
I don’t know if it’s cheating but it’s odd. I think it’s quite unfair on him, you’re definitely sending the wrong signals especially if you know he’s into guys. That type of affection is normally reserved for your girlfriend so it is odd behaviour. Maybe you aren’t as straight as you consider yourself to be:cool:
0
reply
Dinosaursareneat
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 4 months ago
#3
(Original post by ohdearstudying)
I don’t know if it’s cheating but it’s odd. I think it’s quite unfair on him, you’re definitely sending the wrong signals especially if you know he’s into guys. That type of affection is normally reserved for your girlfriend so it is odd behaviour. Maybe you aren’t as straight as you consider yourself to be:cool:
I'm a girl lol, but thank you
0
reply
ohdearstudying
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#4
Report 4 months ago
#4
(Original post by Dinosaursareneat)
I'm a girl lol, but thank you
Oh sorry! It still applies!
0
reply
K.T.B.
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#5
Report 3 months ago
#5
(Original post by Dinosaursareneat)
I'm a girl lol, but thank you
Well this thread just took a twist.

Anyway. I'm a straight guy and I have a (straight female) friend of mine with whom I have a pretty similar relationship. We cuddle and hug a lot, and we very frequently talk to each other about (extremely) personal things. She has a boyfriend, who is 100% aware of everything we do together and he has never once hinted that he has any problem with the way we act.

For that reason, I don't think anything you've described is "odd", personally (unless we're both odd together), but I guess it's not especially common either. Nevertheless, I think you're worrying yourself a bit too much if you're trying to decide whether or not you're "cheating". There is really no rigid definition of the word, and a certain amount of nuance should be applied to every situation. If you don't feel anything "physical" towards him, and neither of you are even attracted to each other's sexes, then it's pretty clear to me that you're not cheating, regardless of whatever your sister may believe.

Of course, the person here who really has the final say on how it should be seen is the people you two are actually dating. If they're fine with it, then there's nothing wrong with what you're doing.
0
reply
LovelyMrFox
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#6
Report 3 months ago
#6
Not cheating, just a bit odd tbh.
I think the kiss on the forehead and cuddling is where I would draw the line, but you do you.
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Current uni students - are you thinking of dropping out of university?

Yes, I'm seriously considering dropping out (22)
18.03%
I'm not sure (2)
1.64%
No, I'm going to stick it out for now (38)
31.15%
I have already dropped out (3)
2.46%
I'm not a current university student (57)
46.72%

Watched Threads

View All