Are age gaps predatory?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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Right so is it wrong for a guy and girl to have relations if there is a large age gap? My friend is 18 and wants a guy who is over 21 but with the latest social media controversy apparently 17 and 20+ is predatory?

I thought it was weird for me (19) to be with some 17 years old, so I said no but I didn't think it was predatory as being described on twitter about Ansel Elgort
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ANM775
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Right so is it wrong for a guy and girl to have relations if there is a large age gap? My friend is 18 and wants a guy who is over 21 but with the latest social media controversy apparently 17 and 20+ is predatory?

I thought it was weird for me (19) to be with some 17 years old, so I said no but I didn't think it was predatory as being described on twitter about Ansel Elgort
No it's not predatory imo

tbh, often it's the younger girl tries to who initiates these things as well, but everyone blames the guy

even in your OP it's the younger girl who "wants" the 21 year old guy
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akragas
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My friend is 18 and wants a guy who is over 21 but with the latest social media controversy apparently 17 and 20+ is predatory?
Social media are cancer.
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Alexty28
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If they are both over 18, I don't see whats wrong.
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londonmyst
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No.
A lot of people are very hostile to larger age gaps; in the habit of turning hysterical or vicious when offering unsolicited advice in relation to other people's legal and consensual relationships.
Particularly when the relationships involve teenagers over 16 but under 18.
I only date with an age gap of at least 15 years, have never dated a guy in his 20s and never will.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Alexty28)
If they are both over 18, I don't see whats wrong.
Mmm but what about 17 and 19 or 16 and 18?
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akragas
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Mmm but what about 17 and 19 or 16 and 18?
Don't base your opinions on whatever sh*t people say on Twitter and Facebook. Think by yourself.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ANM775)
tbh, often it's the younger girl tries to who initiates these things as well, but everyone blames the guy
I mean she was the one who DM'd her
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Alexty28
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Mmm but what about 17 and 19 or 16 and 18?
Yeah if its like a two year gap and above 16 thats ok. Just find it weird when its like a 20 year old and a 16 year old.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I mean she was the one who DM'd her
DM'd him**
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Fermion.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Right so is it wrong for a guy and girl to have relations if there is a large age gap? My friend is 18 and wants a guy who is over 21 but with the latest social media controversy apparently 17 and 20+ is predatory?

I thought it was weird for me (19) to be with some 17 years old, so I said no but I didn't think it was predatory as being described on twitter about Ansel Elgort
18 and 21 isn’t predatory. The 18 year old is an adult.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Mmm but what about 17 and 19 or 16 and 18?
I've seen a couple at my sixth form (16/18-17/19) and it would be absurd to call it predatory. At the end of the day, it's about common sense.
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Anonymous #3
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I think it really depends on the stage of life someones in, an 18 year old in full time education and financially dependant on and living with their parents with a 20 something year old working full time living on their own- yeah kinda predatory. an 18 and 20 something year old both working full time living on their own- not so predatory. it's all about power imbalances really
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Anonymous #3
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also in the Ansel Elgort situation I'd say there was a huge power imbalance with her being both a child (he original messaged her before she'd even turned 17) and being a fan of him
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
also in the Ansel Elgort situation I'd say there was a huge power imbalance with her being both a child (he original messaged her before she'd even turned 17) and being a fan of him
True but does this mean if I was a banker dating a waitress that's a power imbalance?
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Anonymous #4
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lol idk if it helps (probably not) but my parents have a 15 year age gap :]
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NonIndigenous
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This thread is silly. A 2 or 3 year age gap isn't a big deal at all, even if it seems like it at the moment.

In 5 years no one will care.
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ROTL94
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(Original post by Anonymous)
the latest social media controversy
as being described on twitter
Yeah, I don't pay attention to what cretins on social media say nor should anyone else
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username3719046
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the whole ansel elgort situation was because he raped the girl. he sexually assaulted her and it wasn't to do with an age gap, either way it was still rape no matter how old she or he was at the time. regarding age gaps in normal relationships, as long as you're both over the age of consent and its not hurting anyone i don't see a problem with a couple of years difference or whatever, my parents have 12 years in between them. as you get older and older it doesn't matter as much, the only problem when you're in your twenties is that one may be more mature than the other/ going through a completely different period of life.
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Laurence010401
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(Original post by anm775)
no it's not predatory imo

tbh, often it's the younger girl tries to who initiates these things as well, but everyone blames the guy

even in your op it's the younger girl who "wants" the 21 year old guy
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