My dad has cancer when I was 12...

I’m now 17, he’s alive and well but sometimes I think about it, almost as if it hadn’t happened and I’m in disbelief, I struggle to get my head around the fact that my dad, my dad had cancer, a tumour in his neck that he noticed while shaving one morning. I remember being picked up by my grandma and waiting for my parents to come home from hospital. I had no clue. My sister was 9. Then when they finally told me it’s like I couldn’t process it, they just said “ your dad has non Hodgkin’s lymphoma, that’s a cancer” it was almost stage 3 when they caught it, he was lucky, I know people who weren’t so lucky and sometimes I feel guilty for grieving and being so open about it because he’s still here and he’s fine. But it was still traumatising I guess, I’ve seen pictures of him during his chemotherapy and he looked like a ghost, he had no hair and that was one of his distinctive features, I remember him throwing up after his first session of chemo and I remember the day that he told me he was all clear. The type of cancer he had was an aggressive type, so when he started his treatment, the cancer wreaked havoc and did everything to fight back. The treatment lasted for 6 months, just weeks before his last treatment, my grandad died without knowing if my dad got better. There is nothing to grieve because my dad is still here and he’s fine, I just think about it some times, look back 4 years ago and think...bloody hell, that was awful. I have friends who lost parents from cancer, that’s why I feel guilty for being open about it. You understand right?