Girlfriend asked for break/space

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KamZuk
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#1
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Hello,

My girlfriend (24f) was acting off with me last week, she blamed it on stress; she'd message me less than usual and would be pretty blunt about it.

Two days ago her son (From her ex) had an incident which resulted in the paramedics and ambulance coming which stressed her furthermore, she then asked for a break from me.

She suffers from depression (bipolar) and severe anxiety, when I asked for reassurance that we'll get back together after the break and that she still loves me, she replied with " I'm not in the right state of mind right now, I'm still reassuring myself that my son is okay".

I've agreed to the break however she's gone with strictly no contact, I've also told her I loved her and that I'll be checking in every once in a while (not sure how frequent).

I need advice please! I seriously love this girl and would do anything for her!
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username3508100
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I think you just need to give her the space she needs - she will come back to you when she is ready
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KamZuk
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(Original post by wastedcuriosity)
I think you just need to give her the space she needs - she will come back to you when she is ready
You think? Thank you for the advice, it just kills me how she's talking to others on Messenger but doesn't message me, I'd like to be involved in helping her cope with things however I do respect her decision
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username3508100
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(Original post by KamZuk)
You think? Thank you for the advice, it just kills me how she's talking to others on Messenger but doesn't message me, I'd like to be involved in helping her cope with things however I do respect her decision
I totally understand that, but if you message her when she's asked for no contact you risk pushing her away. Although, I'm sure one message asking how she's holding up wouldn't do any harm.
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KamZuk
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(Original post by wastedcuriosity)
I totally understand that, but if you message her when she's asked for no contact you risk pushing her away. Although, I'm sure one message asking how she's holding up wouldn't do any harm.
I don't want to come across as clingy so I'm not sure how frequently I should ask how she's doing.

I've also come up with a plan to ask her where we stand if she doesn't come back in the space of two weeks, is that a good idea?
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Foxehh
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If she asks for space, give her that space. She will be fine, dont worry.
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KamZuk
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
If she asks for space, give her that space. She will be fine, dont worry.
Will she be back?
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username3508100
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(Original post by KamZuk)
I don't want to come across as clingy so I'm not sure how frequently I should ask how she's doing.

I've also come up with a plan to ask her where we stand if she doesn't come back in the space of two weeks, is that a good idea?
I'm not sure, if you're that concerned about her, maybe in two weeks ask how she is. But wait for her to approach the subject of your relationship, I think
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Foxehh
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(Original post by KamZuk)
Will she be back?
Yes, she just needs to take care of her son.
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KamZuk
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(Original post by wastedcuriosity)
I'm not sure, if you're that concerned about her, maybe in two weeks ask how she is. But wait for her to approach the subject of your relationship, I think
Okie dokie, that's what I'll do
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KamZuk
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Yes, she just needs to take care of her son.
I guess, it doesn't help that my friends are telling me that she's probably using it as an excuse, also she's interacting with other people on Facebook but is avoiding me.
Last edited by KamZuk; 10 months ago
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NonIndigenous
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(Original post by KamZuk)
Hello,

My girlfriend (24f) was acting off with me last week, she blamed it on stress; she'd message me less than usual and would be pretty blunt about it.

Two days ago her son (From her ex) had an incident which resulted in the paramedics and ambulance coming which stressed her furthermore, she then asked for a break from me.

She suffers from depression (bipolar) and severe anxiety, when I asked for reassurance that we'll get back together after the break and that she still loves me, she replied with " I'm not in the right state of mind right now, I'm still reassuring myself that my son is okay".

I've agreed to the break however she's gone with strictly no contact, I've also told her I loved her and that I'll be checking in every once in a while (not sure how frequent).

I need advice please! I seriously love this girl and would do anything for her!
I think her behavior is a little selfish but also understandable. Something has happened to her son, and that'll be all that is on her mind right now.

If all you are worried about currently, is the safety of your and her relationship with each other, with little/no thought about her son... she'll naturally be questioning your role in the relationship.

Try to make it a little less about yourself & a little more about her and her problems. That might help.
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KamZuk
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(Original post by NonIndigenous)
I think her behavior is a little selfish but also understandable. Something has happened to her son, and that'll be all that is on her mind right now.

If all you are worried about currently, is the safety of your and her relationship with each other, with little/no thought about her son... she'll naturally be questioning your role in the relationship.

Try to make it a little less about yourself & a little more about her and her problems. That might help.
That's very true, I've always been there for her and her son and her son adores me, it was just my natural reaction when she told me she needs a break but didn't specify boundaries or how long the break is for, when I'll next check in (in two weeks time) I'll make sure to make it clear that I care.
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Foxehh
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(Original post by KamZuk)
I guess, it doesn't help that my friends are telling me that she's probably using it as an excuse, also she's interacting with other people on Facebook but is avoiding me.
Your friends sound toxic. Get new ones.
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Hellevator
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(Original post by KamZuk)
Hello,

My girlfriend (24f) was acting off with me last week, she blamed it on stress; she'd message me less than usual and would be pretty blunt about it.

Two days ago her son (From her ex) had an incident which resulted in the paramedics and ambulance coming which stressed her furthermore, she then asked for a break from me.

She suffers from depression (bipolar) and severe anxiety, when I asked for reassurance that we'll get back together after the break and that she still loves me, she replied with " I'm not in the right state of mind right now, I'm still reassuring myself that my son is okay".

I've agreed to the break however she's gone with strictly no contact, I've also told her I loved her and that I'll be checking in every once in a while (not sure how frequent).

I need advice please! I seriously love this girl and would do anything for her!
end it to be honest it sounds like she wants out anyway
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KamZuk
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Your friends sound toxic. Get new ones.
I say "Friends" in reality they're just people I talk to, I'm very lonely as a person and rely on her alot, maybe that could also be the cause of her stress and having to take a step back?
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Foxehh
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(Original post by KamZuk)
I say "Friends" in reality they're just people I talk to, I'm very lonely as a person and rely on her alot, maybe that could also be the cause of her stress and having to take a step back?
Your overthinking this.
Her son is hurt you said. So obviously shes going to take time from the relationship to help him.
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KamZuk
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Your overthinking this.
Her son is hurt you said. So obviously shes going to take time from the relationship to help him.
Sorry I just love to overthink, surely she'd prefer me to be by her side though?
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KamZuk
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(Original post by Hellevator)
end it to be honest it sounds like she wants out anyway
What makes you say that?
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