I'm worried I'm missing out on my teenage years

I'm 17 now and I've never been to a party, never dated, never kissed anyone, never snuck out etc etc. For most of secondary, I went an all-girls catholic school which may have had a part despite being less than 5 mins away from our brother school but I'm now in a mixed school and nothings changed. I think I'm the problem honestly as I don't have the courage to order something at Mcdonalds so if I went to a party I'd probably be miserable but I can't help wonder if I'm missing out or ruining the years I can't get back.

Reply 1

LawStudent456

22

Original post by Roseiee

I'm 17 now and I've never been to a party, never dated, never kissed anyone, never snuck out etc etc. For most of secondary, I went an all-girls catholic school which may have had a part despite being less than 5 mins away from our brother school but I'm now in a mixed school and nothings changed. I think I'm the problem honestly as I don't have the courage to order something at Mcdonalds so if I went to a party I'd probably be miserable but I can't help wonder if I'm missing out or ruining the years I can't get back.

Religion takes another victim

Reply 2

Milkandcookiess

12

Original post by Roseiee

I'm 17 now and I've never been to a party, never dated, never kissed anyone, never snuck out etc etc. For most of secondary, I went an all-girls catholic school which may have had a part despite being less than 5 mins away from our brother school but I'm now in a mixed school and nothings changed. I think I'm the problem honestly as I don't have the courage to order something at Mcdonalds so if I went to a party I'd probably be miserable but I can't help wonder if I'm missing out or ruining the years I can't get back.

I'm 2 years younger and feel the same way :frown:

Reply 3

sandytablet

20

I was the same when I was 17, but I didn't really see it as an issue. If you make an active effort to be more sociable then things will change for you.

Reply 4

oscar.jpdb

9

I really empathise with this and feel the same way. I think the best thing to do is just put your focus elsewhere - work really hard at school, find hobbies of your own that will set you up for uni/higher education etc. Then, when it comes around you will have things to connect with other people over. Worrying and stressing is the single biggest waste of time - you have MUCH better things to be doing. Teenage years are the hardest, but if you set yourself up for your twenties properly, you will probably have a much better time than the people in your year!

I'm not saying become a nerd, but maybe join a few societies at school or try to learn an instrument/sport etc. - social things that you'll be able to bond with people over later on.

I know it's hard, but you only have 1 or 2 years left of school (can't tell from 17). Best of luck I hope you get through this x

Reply 5

Estiyuu

5

Honestly it depends on what kind of life you want to live.

If you want that fast ass lifestyle of just drugs , party and sex, then sure you can do that and it's a very popular lifestyle until you hit 30 and then give it up

I'm more of a nerd/sport fanatic and I like to play videos games and train boxing.i have never touched drugs in my life

Remember when you turn 20 that your life isnt over,plenty of people have lived a mad lifestyle when they were young and changed when they got old while others were behaved youth but horrible grown ups

Reply 6

Estiyuu

5

Also remember when you go to university that you will only be 18 so you have atleast a year and a bit to say goodbye to your teens with a blast HOWEVER this is only if you want to as your parents are not there

I am not saying to go to university and get pissed and ****ed every night just because you want to try fill the holes of the times you missed out on.

Original post by Roseiee

I'm 17 now and I've never been to a party, never dated, never kissed anyone, never snuck out etc etc. For most of secondary, I went an all-girls catholic school which may have had a part despite being less than 5 mins away from our brother school but I'm now in a mixed school and nothings changed. I think I'm the problem honestly as I don't have the courage to order something at Mcdonalds so if I went to a party I'd probably be miserable but I can't help wonder if I'm missing out or ruining the years I can't get back.

it's ok. people have times in their life where it will be amazing - that might even be in your 80's for you! you never know what life has to offer you so don't get too bogged down with the past and things you can't now change :yep:

i never snuck out but i've done the rest of those things. everything will come in time, just wait for it all. you'll do it all and you have the capabilities to do it all!

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

I’ve never been to a party either or dated anyone or been kissed. However, I don’t feel I’ve missed out. You’re still young!!! I’m still young! I’m only 18. Don’t stress out. Parties, drinking, dating...these are all things you can do in your 20’s as well. They aren’t just ‘teen’ things. I hated people who said secondary would be the best years of my life blah blah. Maybe for some people they were, but for me, sixth form was much better and I bet uni (after my gap year) will be even better. Life is shot and it can feel like it’s moving on really fast sometimes. Enjoy it! Don’t get caught up in the ideology that your teens have got to be the wildest time of your life

Reply 9

nathan1403

17

Hi there, I'm really sorry you feel that way :hugs:

I missed out on lots of things when I was your age too; I have anxiety and I was gay but not out to anyone, so naturally I didn't have much fun. I really thought that'd be the rest of my life, but then I went to uni. I found moving out really helped me become more independent and sociable, I started going on nights out, made a lot of new friends, came out and even got a boyfriend :biggrin:

My point is things can (and will!) change for you too, just keep an open mind and focus on getting into the uni/college/job/whatever you want for now!

Reply 10

SleepyBeans

15

Original post by Roseiee

I'm 17 now and I've never been to a party, never dated, never kissed anyone, never snuck out etc etc. For most of secondary, I went an all-girls catholic school which may have had a part despite being less than 5 mins away from our brother school but I'm now in a mixed school and nothings changed. I think I'm the problem honestly as I don't have the courage to order something at Mcdonalds so if I went to a party I'd probably be miserable but I can't help wonder if I'm missing out or ruining the years I can't get back.

I'm the same age as you and have the same experience but I don't think its a bad thing. You don't need to feel bad about things like that, honestly partying, kissing, sneaking out (especially) isn't all that special.

Movies and High school stories and shows make it sound like all teens have their life sorted out and they've found the love of their life, have dated 10 guys, know what to do all the time, sneak out and party and do drugs all the time but it's definitely not true for a majority for teens.

Most teens are at home, on their phone on social media, on their ps3 playing games, snapchatting the close 2/3/4 close friends who you can stand for more than 3 hours at a time, watching tv shows, stressing over school, arguing with their parents. You're not behind because you don't conform to the expectations of the media. I've never preferred parties or strangers to reading a good story and drinking hot coco, but maybe I'm the odd one.

And maybe it's just my school, but a lot of the 'popular people' have their own close set of friends. If I randomly text them, chances are they're at home or working or something. Sure they dress fancier, talk louder, are more outgoing but in essence, it's about the people you hang out with and your comfort with them eg one of my friends is at a concert in a different city every week and has more friends than people I know. I would ****ing hate being in her position, and she goes with people I don't talk to too often, however, she likes her downtime, and we go to cinema or stay at home and talk about literature and are just as happy and I know she cherishes our hours talking just as much as concerts and clubs.

As long as you're happy at where you are in your life, it's good. As long as you like what you're doing in your downtime, watching tv, reading, dancing, as long as you have fond memories of it, you're not losing against anyone. You have the rest of your life to get high and party, if that's what you want to do, but just make sure it is what you want to do.

I'm sorry if this is longwinded, but it's something I feel strongly about, I hate when people feel like they're doing something wrong because they're not doing what media says 'everyone' does.
However, if you do honestly feel like you want to do more, for yourself, not because you want to do what everyone else seems to be so happy doing, you should reach out, say hi to the person next to you in class. They will reply, I promise, and reach out and explore for the people you feel comfortable with or want to be with and I swear you will fall into their stratosphere and start doing things they do. Find out if you're comfortable with the people who sneak out, party etc or your current friends.

Thanks you coming to the ted talk of a anxiety ridden teen with too many thoughts and strong opinions lol

Reply 11

Estiyuu

5

Original post by Anonymous

I’ve never been to a party either or dated anyone or been kissed. However, I don’t feel I’ve missed out. You’re still young!!! I’m still young! I’m only 18. Don’t stress out. Parties, drinking, dating...these are all things you can do in your 20’s as well. They aren’t just ‘teen’ things. I hated people who said secondary would be the best years of my life blah blah. Maybe for some people they were, but for me, sixth form was much better and I bet uni (after my gap year) will be even better. Life is shot and it can feel like it’s moving on really fast sometimes. Enjoy it! Don’t get caught up in the ideology that your teens have got to be the wildest time of your life