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    (Original post by Laevis)
    Heh, someone with a pretty lame sense of humour. I found that funny I'll rep you tomorrow if I manage to remember!
    You owe me rep since i got double neg'd for that joke
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    also, why do women have legs?






    Have you seen the mess snails make?
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    Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"

    The barman said, "Yep, that's them."

    So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"

    Bush said, "We're planning World War III."

    The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"

    Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Iraqis and a bicycle repairman."

    The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

    Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Iraqis!"
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    Lol. I'd rep you if my rep was worth anything.
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    A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of *****es who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of *****es who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

    The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

    Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

    As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ***** in the kitchen."
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    (Original post by Gary10k)
    You owe me rep since i got double neg'd for that joke
    You have quite the ability to offend :wink2:
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    what's brown and rhymes with snoop.

    Dr Dre


    what do yeast, flour and dundonians have in common.

    they are all in bread. :woo: roflcopter brap brap.
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    Some people like cats, and some people don't. Now, the Pope; he's a big fan of cats -



    - you could even call him a cat-o-holic.

    Sorry.
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    A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their dicks?"
    "Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
    "But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"
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    (Original post by Whedonite)
    Some people like cats, and some people don't. Now, the Pope; he's a big fan of cats -



    - you could even call him a cat-o-holic.

    Sorry.
    Archbishop Williams likes multiple choice tests.

    You might call him a pro-test-ant.

    Sorry.
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    scouting for girls performing the clash - london calling :laughing:
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    (Original post by Crimson Black)
    Archbishop Williams likes multiple choice tests.

    You might call him a pro-test-ant.

    Sorry.
    My uncle worships car exhausts.
    He's a catholic converter.
    :ashamed:
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    I'm quite a big fan of this cracker joke:

    Two eskimos sat in a canoe. One tried to light a fire, and it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

    ...sorry, I can hear the groans.
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    Also, Why did Stevie Wonder fail his driving test?

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Because he's black.
    N.b. this joke is not racist, it is a critique of DVLA prejudice, before I get warned.
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    this is more of a story but here goes
    One day a teacher is teaching her class and she sets the class homework to come back on monday with a story to tell the class, but the story has to have a meaning. So monday comes and annabel stands at the front of the class and says
    I was with my Dad going to market and we had 3 baskets of eggs on the back seat and I asked him why we had 3 and he told me not to put all my eggs in one basket
    Very good says the teacher. Next up was Jimmy
    On saturday my mum and dad were cooking and they wouldn't let me help cos they said that too many cooks spoil the broth
    Well done Jimmy. Then Katy got up.
    I was with my uncle this weekend. One night my Auntie was flying here plane in a bombing raid over Germany when she was shot down. She came down and all she had was a machine gun, a bottle of vodka and a machette. She downed the vodka then killed 30 of the surrounding germans with the machine gun. The she killed off another 50 with her machette until the blade broke. Finally she killed 20 with her bare hands
    Good God said the teacher, whatever is the meaning of that story Katy
    Don't **** with Aunty when she is on the piss
    That is all that I can remember
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    (Original post by worldwide)
    Also, Why did Stevie Wonder fail his driving test?

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Because he's black.
    N.b. this joke is not racist, it is a critique of DVLA prejudice, before I get warned.
    I posted that joke earlier, didnt put the DVLA bit in and got neg'd out my face


    Whats the difference between acne and a preist?

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Acne doesnt come all over an eight year olds face
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    What's worse than accidentally snapping a rubber band against your skin?
    Dengue Fever :indiff:
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    (Original post by Gary10k)
    I posted that joke earlier, didnt put the DVLA bit in and got neg'd out my face


    Whats the difference between acne and a preist?

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Acne doesnt come all over an eight year olds face
    I got negged as well, don't worry :p: It's people like us who are the real pioneers.
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    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
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    (Original post by sunshine reggae)
    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
    My dyslexic joke is better
 
 
 
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