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[b]What is the greatest joke EVER?![/b] watch

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    (Original post by Sanyore)
    What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?

    A jew is a person of jewish faith. A pizza is an italian round-bread, usually topped with cheese and tomatoes.
    ...I'm still waiting for the punchline...
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    Did you hear about the scarecrow who won a Nobel prize? Apparently he was just out standing in his field...
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    An old man aged 90 gets married to a young girl aged 20 and goes to his doctor for viagra. The doctor says ''sorry but giving a man aged 90 viagra can be dangerous''. The old man pleads and begs for viagra, after a while the doctor gives in and states though it can only be taken under strict guide lines and only for five days. The doctor says take ''half a dose ,skip a day, half a dose skip a day until the fifth day''. The old man does this for the five days, when his wife rings the doctor and says ''he's dead''. The doctor said ''I knew if I gave him viagra it would kill him'', his wife said ,''no it wasn't the viagra that killed him ,it was all that dammed skipping'.
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    A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"

    Dexter's Laboratory ftw!

    -x-
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    Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital.
    The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample."
    The old man says, "What?"
    So the doctor says it again.
    Once again the old man says, "what?"
    So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!"
    With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"
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    This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
    Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.
    While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis.
    "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
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    A man goes to the doctor's. Clearly in some discomfort, he pulls down his
    trousers to reveal a lettuce leaf sticking out of his backside.

    He turns to the doctor and says....... "and that's just the tip of the iceberg".

    :p:
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    A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"
    The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
    "Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."

    OK thats all folks ...
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    One atom says to another, 'I think I've lost an electron!'
    The other replies, 'Are you sure?'
    'Yeah, I'm positive!'

    ...

    -What did one gay say to the other in the bar?
    -'May I push your stool in?'
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    What do you call a Black Pilot?
    Answer
    A Pilot you racist.
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    WARNING SICK JOKES

    What do you say to a women with two black eyes?

    Nothing She has already been told twice!

    --------------------------
    Whats the difference between women and a fridge?

    Fridges don't leak when you pull meat out of them!

    -----------------------
    Whats funnier that 10 babeis nailed to a tree?

    1 baby nailed to 10 trees
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    Why can't Stevie Wonder read??
    Answer
    Cause he's black
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    Gordon Brown being PM. Look what he has done to the economy, housing market etc. Can't believe he lasted a year!
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    (Original post by Dinendal Leralonde)
    ...I'm still waiting for the punchline...

    It's a REALLY racist, not nice, horrible joke.

    'A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven'.


    ^^^ They changed the punchline so they wouldn't get a warning I suppose.
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    Stevie wonder got a cheese greater for christmas

    Most painful book he ever read
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    (Original post by Mr_Steve_Stifler)
    Racist.
    Are you suggesting Scousers or Americans are a different race? :yep:
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    (Original post by Fungrus)
    What do you call a Black Pilot?
    Answer
    A Pilot you racist.
    What do you call an Asian pilot?
    A Terrorist.
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    See sig.
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    What's the difference between a highwayman and a girlfriend?

    A highwayman only asks for your money or your life...
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    (Original post by Gary10k)
    Stevie wonder got a cheese greater for christmas

    Most painful book he ever read
    lol.oh my,

    im guessin you can make so many stevie wonder jokes tho.
 
 
 
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