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[b]What is the greatest joke EVER?![/b] watch

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    What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

    Being raped.

    ________________________________ ____

    What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

    Where's my tractor

    (Love that joke or hate it)

    ________________________________ ____

    Q: What's white and can't climb trees?
    A: A fridge.

    Q: What's white and blue and can't climb trees?
    A: A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

    Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
    A: Someone threw a fridge at it.
    Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
    A: It was sellotaped to the monkey.

    Q: How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
    A: Open the fridge door
    Put the giraffe in
    Close the fridge door.

    Q: How do you put an elephant into the fridge?
    A: Open the fridge door
    Take out the giraffe
    Put in the elephant
    Close the fridge door.

    Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all
    the animals are there, except one.
    Which one does not attend?
    A: The elephant..........he's in the fridge.

    Q: There is a river you must cross but it is filled
    with crocodiles. How do you do it?
    A: You swim across.......all the crocodiles are at the
    animal conference.
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    Two fish in a tank.

    One said to the other - "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

    _________

    Two Snowmen in a field.

    One said to the other, "Can you smell carrots?"

    __________

    Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

    Fo' drizzle!
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    (Original post by stratomaster136)
    Are you suggesting Scousers or Americans are a different race? :yep:

    Nah, I just like calling him a racist lol.
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    Okay guys, best joke EVER incoming. I actually don't tell this much in case it circulates and people hear it before I tell them, it's THAT awesome.

    What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

    NACHO CHEESE.
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    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

    Being raped.
    Jimmy Carr much?
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    Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?







    He doesn't know he's black!




    Why is Stevie Wonder black?





    So deaf people can hate him too!
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    What did my mother say to me before crossing the road, seeming as I'm a duck?



    Beak Careful

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - -

    What do you call a dog?





    A spoon

    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    What did the did ethanol say to Benzene?





    OH
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    What does Stevie wonder's wife do when they have a fall out?

    Move the furniture around

    -------------

    Why'd the little girl fall off the swing?

    Cause she had no arms
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    Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the road and turned into a field...
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    I love this one.


    Tony Blair visits Washington for a meeting with George Bush. After dinner Bush says:

    "Well, Tony, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet but mine are all bright and brilliant."

    "How do you know?" Asks Tony.

    "Oh, well, it's simple," says Bush. "They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second." He calls Colin Powell and says, "Tell me Colin, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

    "Ah, that's simple Mr. President," says Colin, "It's me!"

    "Well done, Colin," says Bush and Tony is VERY impressed.

    Back in Britain, Tony calls John Prescott and asks him to come into his office. "John, tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother, who is not your brother and not your sister?" John says he has to think about it. Tony gives him 24 hours.

    After 24 hours, John still does not know the answer, so he asks his wife. She says "That's easy! It's me!"

    John runs to Tony's office and says, "Tony! I know the answer! It's my wife!" Tony looks at him with a sad look on his face. "I'm sorry John, but that's wrong. The answer is Colin Powell."
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    (Original post by DominF)
    Okay guys, best joke EVER incoming. I actually don't tell this much in case it circulates and people hear it before I tell them, it's THAT awesome.

    What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

    NACHO CHEESE.
    my wife and kids ----brap.
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    Also, OP's understanding of the bold function.
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    Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?


    Steven Hawking in a house fire.
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    Why did Michael Jackson make a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
    He thought it was a delivery service.
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    (Original post by stratomaster136)
    Are you suggesting Scousers or Americans are a different race? :yep:
    lol i dont get how the joke was racist....:confused:

    anyway...we'r all one race....psff


    how can you tell a blondes been using the computer?

    tipex on the screen

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    When did Pinnochio first realise he was made of wood?
    He masturbated and his hand caught fire!

    What is black and white and eats like a horse?
    A zebra.

    You know, someone actually complimented me on my parking today? Yeah I went back to my car and there was a little piece of paper on the windscreen which said: 'parking fine'. So that was nice.
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    (Original post by HappinessHappening)
    When did Pinnochio first realise he was made of wood?
    He masturbated and his hand caught fire!

    What is black and white and eats like a horse?
    A zebra.

    You know, someone actually complimented me on my parking today? Yeah I went back to my car and there was a little piece of paper on the windscreen which said: 'parking fine'. So that was nice.
    :hmmm: Nicked from my sig :p:
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    Ready for a sick one? Please do not continue reading if easily offended!

    What is 12 inches long and makes a woman scream all night?





















    Cot death.
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    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    It's a REALLY racist, not nice, horrible joke.

    'A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven'.


    ^^^ They changed the punchline so they wouldn't get a warning I suppose.
    It's nice of you to draw your own conclusions, but that wasn't the point. It's supposedly a strain of humor called anti-humor, as in, when people expect a punchline, don't give them one. It's similar to "no-joke" jokes such as "He's so fat, when he leaves a nudist beach he has to show a receipt!"

    But I like how you didn't think the Stevie Wonder joke was racist at all.
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    (Original post by Overground)
    What do you call an Asian pilot?
    A Terrorist.
    :rolleyes:
    didn't see that one coming
    I'm chinese.
 
 
 
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