I feel like giving up with driving.

Watch
Loreto2018
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
So i've been having driving lessons for way over a year now and the 3 month lockdown means that it is taking me even longer to pass my test. I've also forgotten a lot of the techniques i have learnt before lockdown and I still make so many stupid mistakes in my lessons which drops my confidence levels and I feel so frustrated because i'm just wasting a LOT of my parents money. It is taking me far too long to pass, most of my friends have required much fewer lessons and have passed way quicker than me. I get extremely nervous when there's lots of traffic behind me, i'm still stalling at roundabouts because i'm not sure if i should stop and switch to 1st gear or move off in 2nd gear and hesitating when to go. Also, i can't park for my life, I can never get my reference points correct when parking especially with parallel parking and it just makes me so frustrated that I still can never get the technique right. My Instructor is nice and patient but I can tell he is soo p*** off inside because i should be getting these simple things correct by now. I just feel like giving up because driving is not for a person like me with low self-confidence and i'm generally not a very practical person. Does anyone have any advice for me ? Thanks.
1
reply
sweater_weather
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
I’m in pretty much the same position. Been learning on and off for almost two year, my theory is soon to expire and have already failed three times. I’m also told I have little self confidence and I’ve always been bad at practical things.
I relate to so many problems you face but remember that you are capable of passing. There are millions of people who can drive even if they took 14 times to pass or 10 years to learn. Don’t think that you are somehow incapable and worse of than all those millions of people because there is no reason to believe that.
Depending on where you live (I live in the middle of nowhere) you may have to learn how to drive at some point and even if you don’t have to, you don’t want to spend your life relying on people to take you places. You can take a break if you want and forget about it which is what I tried to do but I kept thinking about It because it was unfinished business and then lockdown happened and I’m even further behind. Remember that if you give up now you’ll probably want to restart from scratch in a few years and spend even more money. If you keep going you’ll save money because all you need to do is brush up and gain some confidence.
We’ll get there eventually and once it’s done, so long as you don’t do something stupid, no one can take it away from you. I’d rather say I spent loads of time and money learning to drive than I tried, wasted money then gave up.
2
reply
Loreto2018
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by sweater_weather)
I’m in pretty much the same position. Been learning on and off for almost two year, my theory is soon to expire and have already failed three times. I’m also told I have little self confidence and I’ve always been bad at practical things.
I relate to so many problems you face but remember that you are capable of passing. There are millions of people who can drive even if they took 14 times to pass or 10 years to learn. Don’t think that you are somehow incapable and worse of than all those millions of people because there is no reason to believe that.
Depending on where you live (I live in the middle of nowhere) you may have to learn how to drive at some point and even if you don’t have to, you don’t want to spend your life relying on people to take you places. You can take a break if you want and forget about it which is what I tried to do but I kept thinking about It because it was unfinished business and then lockdown happened and I’m even further behind. Remember that if you give up now you’ll probably want to restart from scratch in a few years and spend even more money. If you keep going you’ll save money because all you need to do is brush up and gain some confidence.
We’ll get there eventually and once it’s done, so long as you don’t do something stupid, no one can take it away from you. I’d rather say I spent loads of time and money learning to drive than I tried, wasted money then gave up.
Hey, thanks for the advice. Even though you failed 3 times, atleast you had the confidence to actually book your test so well done for that. I think I might take a break from driving lessons for a bit but carry on with private practice until i feel confident enough to book more and then eventually the test. Good luck with your driving, hopefully you pass real soon!
1
reply
I'mCookieMonster
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
Hey, I'm in a very similar position to you. Been learning on and off since January 2019, booked a test in July last year and failed and I let it knock me for months. I stopped my driving lessons over the summer and only got back into it around October, when my instructor got a bigger car which I struggled to drive and so I had to switch instructors! Started with a different instructor in December and went from strength to strength with her. She helped me with my self confidence whilst driving and I did feel better about myself and my driving which was great. Then booked my second test for the beginning of April and corona took care of the rest... I'm now having to start with another instructor when lessons are allowed to resume because my last one is now on maternity leave!

I would say keep going and taking lessons, as well as doing lots of private practice. I am also not a very practical person but the best thing for me has been practising whenever I feel up to it. Keep pushing, stay determined and you will (and me too) get it done!! I don't think the money you are spending will be a waste, I think it will just make you a safer driver when you do pass Plus I know people who rushed through their lessons and tests and I don't think that they are great drivers- you wouldn't catch me getting in a car with any of them anytime soon!

I think that driving is such an important life skill and like said above, one that you will then have forever! Best of luck with it all x
2
reply
Loreto2018
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by I'mCookieMonster)
Hey, I'm in a very similar position to you. Been learning on and off since January 2019, booked a test in July last year and failed and I let it knock me for months. I stopped my driving lessons over the summer and only got back into it around October, when my instructor got a bigger car which I struggled to drive and so I had to switch instructors! Started with a different instructor in December and went from strength to strength with her. She helped me with my self confidence whilst driving and I did feel better about myself and my driving which was great. Then booked my second test for the beginning of April and corona took care of the rest... I'm now having to start with another instructor when lessons are allowed to resume because my last one is now on maternity leave!

I would say keep going and taking lessons, as well as doing lots of private practice. I am also not a very practical person but the best thing for me has been practising whenever I feel up to it. Keep pushing, stay determined and you will (and me too) get it done!! I don't think the money you are spending will be a waste, I think it will just make you a safer driver when you do pass Plus I know people who rushed through their lessons and tests and I don't think that they are great drivers- you wouldn't catch me getting in a car with any of them anytime soon!

I think that driving is such an important life skill and like said above, one that you will then have forever! Best of luck with it all x
Hey thank you for the advice. Can I just ask when you do "private practice" are you insured on another car or do you drive in someone else's car without insurance? I'm doing the latter and I think i'm taking a big risk since i'm pretty sure its illegal to drive without insurance but I can't afford it at the moment since I don't have a job yet.
0
reply
jackien1
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
Then give up. Resign yourself to always taking public transport or asking for lifts. Either or situation. Choose.
1
reply
richmkay
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 month ago
#7
(Original post by Loreto2018)
Hey thank you for the advice. Can I just ask when you do "private practice" are you insured on another car or do you drive in someone else's car without insurance? I'm doing the latter and I think i'm taking a big risk since i'm pretty sure its illegal to drive without insurance but I can't afford it at the moment since I don't have a job yet.
I don't mean to be the grumpy old person butttt...

... If you're caught without insurance, that's 6 points anyway plus a huge fine. The person car your driving will also be taken away with fee's to be paid for releasing it, and if they let you take it out without insurance willingly and knowingly without insurance, they can also be fined/points

If you can't afford insurance, then you can't afford to get caught. If you have an accident as well whilst uninsured, your wallet is going to be void of money for a long long long time.

Please don't risk it. It's really not worth it
2
reply
I'mCookieMonster
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by Loreto2018)
Hey thank you for the advice. Can I just ask when you do "private practice" are you insured on another car or do you drive in someone else's car without insurance? I'm doing the latter and I think i'm taking a big risk since i'm pretty sure its illegal to drive without insurance but I can't afford it at the moment since I don't have a job yet.
(Original post by richmkay)
I don't mean to be the grumpy old person butttt...

... If you're caught without insurance, that's 6 points anyway plus a huge fine. The person car your driving will also be taken away with fee's to be paid for releasing it, and if they let you take it out without insurance willingly and knowingly without insurance, they can also be fined/points

If you can't afford insurance, then you can't afford to get caught. If you have an accident as well whilst uninsured, your wallet is going to be void of money for a long long long time.

Please don't risk it. It's really not worth it
Totally agree with this^^ I am insured on my own car so am covered if I get into an accident or anything and my parents would absolutely not allow me to practice on someone else's car without being insured to do so beforehand, nor would I want to take the risk. I know it can be expensive to get insurance, but there is absolutely no point risking it as it will likely just cause you more problems and money down the line.
0
reply
Loreto2018
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#9
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#9
Yeah of course, I don't know why my dumb mum was telling me that her insurance will cover everything as long as she is in the car with me. I guess i'm gonna have to stop with the private practising for a while now because there's no way I can afford that right now. Thanks for clearing that up guys.
1
reply
bones-mccoy
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#10
Report 3 weeks ago
#10
Don't be disheartened. I've been having lessons since January 2019 and was basically test ready just before lockdown which was annoying! I've had two lessons since restrictions have been somewhat lifted and haven't forgotten anything even though I was convinced I had. I think I'm actually mroe confident at roundabouts now even though I haven't driven for 4 months which is weird.

But don't worry, you'll get back into it quickly enough. A lot of it is muscle memory if you've been having lessons for that long anyway. The key with roundabouts imo is slowing down enough before you go to change gears, that way you can concentrate more on whether to change down to second or first as you have the car under more control and don't feel rushed and like you've got to do a million things before reaching the roundabout itself.
0
reply
ReadingMum
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#11
Report 3 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by Loreto2018)
Yeah of course, I don't know why my dumb mum was telling me that her insurance will cover everything as long as she is in the car with me. I guess i'm gonna have to stop with the private practising for a while now because there's no way I can afford that right now. Thanks for clearing that up guys.
learner insurance is about £50 per month.
0
reply
IQuitTSR
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#12
Report 3 weeks ago
#12
(Original post by Loreto2018)
Yeah of course, I don't know why my dumb mum was telling me that her insurance will cover everything as long as she is in the car with me. I guess i'm gonna have to stop with the private practising for a while now because there's no way I can afford that right now. Thanks for clearing that up guys.
Don't insult your mom; everyone makes mistakes.
0
reply
izzxm
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#13
Report 3 weeks ago
#13
Don’t worry learning to drive takes time and i was in the same position as you about 5 months ago, i was about to give up on my third test but took another one and passed! I was never and still not very confident at roundabouts and parking, i still stall on occasions and really struggle to move off on hills😬, obviously i’m a safe driver and i’m really cautious all the time and the examiner will definitely will see that on your test. I still can’t parallel park and can’t reverse into a bay 🤣 but what i did during driving lessons is memorise every step needed to do the manoeuvres and it would work every single time, honestly you’ll learn so much more once you’ve passed and you won’t have the stress of someone sitting next to you to put you off and you can always go out late at night to practice when there’s no one around. You got this, good luck!
1
reply
SoulfulTwist
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#14
Report 3 weeks ago
#14
No. Do not give up. You give up now, you will never pass and all that money is definitely gone to waste. You continue, you will pass, just need to use up more money before you do, but it is worth it in the end.
I passed on my third test. One of my friends passed on her 6th test. I know someone who failed so many, double digits yet eventually passed.

What helps?
Watch youtube videos for the techniques. I used to watch world driving, learn to drive travis, cannot remember the rest.

Private practice, if possible. If the car is similar to the ones you take your lessons in, much better.

Lessons, where you only cover the things you are struggling with one at a time. So in one lesson just practice parking. Once you have managed it well, then in the next lesson first practice parking again and then start to learn another manoeuvre. Then maybe next lesson roundabouts. And as many lessons as you need on that making sure that each lesson you start off with the manoeuvre that you had managed to learn the previous lesson or before that so as not to forget.
1
reply
xoxAngel_Kxox
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#15
Report 3 weeks ago
#15
Hey .

Don't give up! Honestly, driving it one of the best things to be able to do, as it gives you such a huge amount of freedom in so many ways. I passed my test 5 years ago now, and still it amazes me that I can just get in the car and drive to wherever I want to go. Honestly, I've never taken it for granted, and I'm not sure I ever will. I look at people like my gran, who never passed their test and rely on their partners. My grandad isn't as well as he used to be, and might not be able to drive for much longer - whereas my gran is much healthier and would probably be able to drive for years yet - but she never learned, so they will be in big trouble when he can no longer drive.

When I was learning, my uncle went into hospital, and when he came out he needed help several times a day. I wanted to do that for him, but I couldn't drive, so I was having to get 2 buses and then walk to his house. I booked my test (nowhere near ready at that point!) and switched to automatic to make things quicker, and passed first time. It was just so important that I passed quickly due to what was happening with my uncle, & I figured at least I could drive and could pass my manual test later (my dad is a driving instructor which helps!) if I needed/wanted to. I haven't yet, it's not been a problem.

But don't give up. Life will be soooo much easier for you!
1
reply
Loreto2018
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#16
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#16
Thanks a lot for the motivation guys, your kind words really have given me a big confidence boost and made me realise that driving is an essential life skill. Hopefully I'll be ready after 10 more hours of lessons 🤞
2
reply
Loreto2018
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#17
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#17
(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Don't be disheartened. I've been having lessons since January 2019 and was basically test ready just before lockdown which was annoying! I've had two lessons since restrictions have been somewhat lifted and haven't forgotten anything even though I was convinced I had. I think I'm actually mroe confident at roundabouts now even though I haven't driven for 4 months which is weird.

But don't worry, you'll get back into it quickly enough. A lot of it is muscle memory if you've been having lessons for that long anyway. The key with roundabouts imo is slowing down enough before you go to change gears, that way you can concentrate more on whether to change down to second or first as you have the car under more control and don't feel rushed and like you've got to do a million things before reaching the roundabout itself.
Hey, I'm sort of in a similar position to you, I've been having lessons since last August and I thought I was also test ready before lockdown, but now I feel like my confidence has gone down a lot especially on busy roads where I seem to make more mistakes with loads of other people watching me. With the roundabouts and junctions, is it possible to slow down and change to 1st gear without completely stopping? or do you have to always stop to 1st. Sometimes I hesitate between changing from 1st and 2nd and end up stalling resulting in a serious fault. Its because id much rather fully stop at every junction in 1st to see if anyone is coming rather than moving off in 2nd and someone comes speeding down without you realising. The problem is, me stopping in 1st gear all the time when it's an open junction classifies as a hesitation and sorry I've made that sound more complicated than it actually is.
Another stupid question especially after about 50 hours of lessons, when getting the biting point how much gas you even use? Cause in my instructors car he said you don't use any gas at all, just lift to the bite and when the car starts moving, then you use the gas. However in another car I've been practicing in, you have to use some gas along with the bite to get the car moving, so this has just confused me a lot more. Sorry for rambling on 😂
0
reply
Loreto2018
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#18
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#18
(Original post by ReadingMum)
learner insurance is about £50 per month.
What company is this?
0
reply
ReadingMum
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#19
Report 3 weeks ago
#19
(Original post by Loreto2018)
What company is this?
Marmalade or Veygo or RAC learner. There are several. They mostly rely on the car belonging to someone else who has insurance so the price is kept down as they know that a theft would be covered by the actual owners' insurance not their learner one.
0
reply
bones-mccoy
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#20
Report 3 weeks ago
#20
(Original post by Loreto2018)
Hey, I'm sort of in a similar position to you, I've been having lessons since last August and I thought I was also test ready before lockdown, but now I feel like my confidence has gone down a lot especially on busy roads where I seem to make more mistakes with loads of other people watching me. With the roundabouts and junctions, is it possible to slow down and change to 1st gear without completely stopping? or do you have to always stop to 1st. Sometimes I hesitate between changing from 1st and 2nd and end up stalling resulting in a serious fault. Its because id much rather fully stop at every junction in 1st to see if anyone is coming rather than moving off in 2nd and someone comes speeding down without you realising. The problem is, me stopping in 1st gear all the time when it's an open junction classifies as a hesitation and sorry I've made that sound more complicated than it actually is.
Another stupid question especially after about 50 hours of lessons, when getting the biting point how much gas you even use? Cause in my instructors car he said you don't use any gas at all, just lift to the bite and when the car starts moving, then you use the gas. However in another car I've been practicing in, you have to use some gas along with the bite to get the car moving, so this has just confused me a lot more. Sorry for rambling on 😂
No, I understand what you mean. You can change to first whilst not stopping completely but you have to be very driving slowly to do so, much slower than you would be when approaching a roundabout. It's easier to do so on regular junctions which are uphill as gravity will naturally slow you down anyway. I generally change down to second when I feel I'm going slow enough and then watch for oncoming traffic whilst keeping an eye on the car in front. If I can see it's busy, or the car in front has stopped, I'll stop completely and move down to one whilst waiting for the person in front to move off and looking for a gap.

Roundabouts are much less daunting if you stay in second as the momentum propels you onto and round the bend quicker, so you can move away from approaching cars more easily. Obviously sometimes you have no other choice but to stop and change into one.

How much gas you use depends on the car and fuel. My instructors car is a diesel so will start moving with only a little bit of gas, I can get going whilst bringing my foot off the clutch and giving a small amount of gas. My own car is a petrol and needs more gas to get going, otherwise I stall. It was difficult at first to get used to the difference but you pick it up easy enough. And every car's clutch is different. I have to bring mine up quite a bit more to feel the bite compared to the car my instructor uses even though they're both the same make and model.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 3 weeks ago
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

What are you most likely to do if you don't get the grades you were expecting?

Go through Clearing (189)
38.57%
Take autumn exams (150)
30.61%
Look for a job (17)
3.47%
Consider an apprenticeship (21)
4.29%
Take a year out (85)
17.35%
Something else (let us know in the thread!) (28)
5.71%

Watched Threads

View All