How to get the most out of the social side of uni

Anyone got any general tips on how to make the most of your social life at uni? My social life has died over the past 2 years at college, I want to get back to the old fun guy I was before, and I'm hoping uni will be the place I get some life experience and become spontaneous again. Anyone got any advice on what to do and what not to to make good friendships and live it up to the full? Did you feel confident at first, if not, do you think you gained confidence and felt secure with yourself/your life after a while? That's what I want, to be confident again and to be satisfied and secure with life by keeping friends, doing all I can, and getting back to the old me.

Mods please keep this anon because I know people on here and wouldn't want them knowing this is me.

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Reply 1

Lithium

Anonymous

Seeing that you were once an outgoing guy, I'd say just be yourself, don't shy up, and be friendly.

What made you stop being the "fun guy you used to be"? And why did you lost your confidence at college?

Reply 2

Sophie3

Tbh freshers week is just about going on the pull really, and I can't wait! Just throw yourself out there and at everyone you see, and you should have a great time! September 09 here I come!

Reply 3

vapid slut magician

Drink a lot. Go out a lot. **** a lot. Throw wild parties.

Reply 4

fblade

Try to go to lectures and I mean, try.

Other than that, drink and be merry.

Reply 5

PoisonDonna

You can't force it. Just be yourself, people will like that and therefore invite you to stuff. It will happen naturally.

Reply 6

vapid slut magician

Sophie3

Tbh freshers week is just about going on the pull really, and I can't wait! Just throw yourself out there and at everyone you see, and you should have a great time! September 09 here I come!

No, it really isn't. You're there to make friends first and foremost.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Lithium

I dunno, I used to get a lot of criticism from so-called mates saying I was weird, unfunny etc. Then I started spending less time around people because I haven't been sure of myself ever since I think. I have the occasional moment where I'm fun again and people (not that previous lot) like that side of me and I make them laugh, but for the most part I got too reserved because I didn't want people slating me. Hard to explain I suppose..

Reply 8

balloon_parade

Sophie3

Tbh freshers week is just about going on the pull really, and I can't wait! Just throw yourself out there and at everyone you see, and you should have a great time! September 09 here I come!

^ What you shouldn't do at freshers week!

Just be yourself, go out and enjoy yourself! Uni is a complete fresh start- forget who you were at college and become the happy, outgoing person you want to be!

Have a good time! x

Wear a funny hat.

Anonymous

Add to that, it was more that they were slating me behind my back and laughing amongst themselves that I got more reserved as I don't trust many people now to fully be myself.

Reply 11

Becky7337

Sophie3

Tbh freshers week is just about going on the pull really, and I can't wait! Just throw yourself out there and at everyone you see, and you should have a great time! September 09 here I come!

Hmm really? I'm sure most people will argue that it's not. :s-smilie:

Reply 12

Mr_Steve_Stifler

Because I'm just cynical, the friendship groups are just going to be identical to that of college. Preps with preps, sluts with sluts, goths with goths etc. Nothing different, pre-selection is an unshakeable force which will determine how well you fare.

I'd just go out into the real world and make friends if you're scared of messing up on the first day. Then at least you'll seem to be busy with many friends anyway. That way people will assume you're quite popular and want to be friends with you instead of you running around trying to impress them which isn't going to work from my personal experience, hence why I have no friends in college now but a lot of friends outside of college - its weird like that.

Reply 13

SomeNextPirate

Mr_Steve_Stifler

It seems slightly contradictory? You seem to be saying don't make friends so people will want to be your friend?

Sorry I'm a bit confused :woo:

Reply 14

chrisjar

University is your chance to go and be exactly who you are, or completely make a new identity for yourself, without anyone at all knowing you or what you used to be like!
So go out there, act confident (even if you don't feel it!), have fun and you'll find plenty of friends!

Reply 15

xJessx

Hiya, I'm in the same position. I split my time between two colleges and the students at both were very cliquey so nobody wanted me in their group and I'm quite quiet naturally anyway. I'm not a nasty person and I'll talk to anyone but I just never clicked with anyone.
At uni, I'm just going to go to everything; lectures, seminars, society meetings, pub crawls and just be myself :smile:

Good luck OP x

Reply 16

Mr_Steve_Stifler

SomeNextPirate

It seems slightly contradictory? You seem to be saying don't make friends so people will want to be your friend?

Sorry I'm a bit confused :woo:

I'm referring to how everyone is nice to each other at the beginning of university but in reality they are screening out the winners and losers. It's etched into our psychology so I wouldn't really acknowledge anyone who says otherwise.

Reply 17

SomeNextPirate

Mr_Steve_Stifler

So how would you avoid this? not talking to anyone? :p:

Reply 18

FireDeuce

Sophie3

Tbh freshers week is just about going on the pull really, and I can't wait! Just throw yourself out there and at everyone you see, and you should have a great time! September 09 here I come!

Please don't.

My advice is any time you think "hmm I'd like to do that? should i do that? will I look silly?" STOP THINKING and do it. Throw yourself into anything and everything (activity/event wise) and get to know as many people as you can, it doesn't matter if in a few months you barely talk, there isn't any other way to get to know people.

Also, people will naturally be looking for someone who looks like they know what they are doing, or someone who wants to suggest things to do. For example 'do you wanna go for a few drinks at XXX before we go to XXX" and everyone will want to, but some people are too shy to suggest it, or think others won't want to go. Become a leader.