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Worried about girlfriend going clubbing

hi, me and my girlfriend are both turning 18 this year and as i dont live that near her (about an hour away), im worried about her going clubbing.

basically, i just think of clubbing as going to dance and get with girls. so im assuming its the same with girls. i trust her and everything just cant help worrying that when she goes thats what shes gonna be looking for.

what do most of you girls look for when going out clubbing? if you've got a boyfirnd how close do you dance to other boys and how do u act when you get chatted up by boys and your boyfriend isnt there.

i went on holiday with my girlfriend this year and there was a nightclub there. when getting drinks for her i came back and there was a boy chatting her up, she told me he was asking her for a drink and a dance and that she said maybe later, because she cant just say no. thats why im worried because of her saying that she cant say no.

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I'm sure she loves you enough not to play the field, you'll just have to trust her.
Reply 2
I go out between one and three times a week, sometimes with the guy I'm seeing, sometimes not. Either way I won't dance with random people- they're liable to take it the wrong way, especially guys. I also wouldn't dance with an ex. Friends I generally dance quite closely with, but, well, my boyfriend is much worse. Luckily I'm not bothered about him grinding on his best friends!

I'll chat to people but I won't flirt with them, and if it becomes apparent that they're trying to chat me up I'll bugger off.

Not actually that different from when I'm single.

It's okay to say 'no' to people, so long as you do it politely.

Maybe you could talk to her about it- but stress that you're the one at fault (being insecure) rather than there being a lack of trust. Could also mention something about how she's so beautiful you're worried about all the attention she'll get.
Just let her go and don't worry about it. You sound a bit like my wannabe controlling ex. Of course she will say no when it comes down to it. And if she doesn't then she obviously isn't the one for you or ready for a serious relationship.

Trust- Its better to trust someone and them break it than smother them to the point of cheating.

I don't think of clubbing as just to get with guys. I go to dance and spend time with my girlfriends- we might talk or dance with some guys (its nice to know you still have it if you've been in a relationship a while!) but it wouldn't be our aim of the night!
I personally got paranoid about it all, and it caused massive arguments. I then gave her more freedom, but it was too late, I was single a few days afterwards.

In other words, chill the hell out, and trust her.
Reply 5
Anonymous
hi, me and my girlfriend are both turning 18 this year and as i dont live that near her (about an hour away), im worried about her going clubbing.

basically, i just think of clubbing as going to dance and get with girls. so im assuming its the same with girls. i trust her and everything just cant help worrying that when she goes thats what shes gonna be looking for.

what do most of you girls look for when going out clubbing? if you've got a boyfirnd how close do you dance to other boys and how do u act when you get chatted up by boys and your boyfriend isnt there.

i went on holiday with my girlfriend this year and there was a nightclub there. when getting drinks for her i came back and there was a boy chatting her up, she told me he was asking her for a drink and a dance and that she said maybe later, because she cant just say no. thats why im worried because of her saying that she cant say no.


Sorry, what?
Reply 6
If you trust her, you don't need to worry about what she's looking for. She's looking for fun, which since you're not living together or even in the same town atm, it seems hard that you have together. It's not fair to deny her it (and trust me--do it once, and it'll haunt you till the day you die :s-smilie:).

Trust her = let her go = you got a good thing going

Can't trust her = don't let her go = you're essentially slowly letting her go.


Jealousy kills.
I go clubbing even though I have a g/f as she says she's totally fine with it. I'd understand if deep down she got concerned because yes it is a place to grind against people etc really

But luckily for her I get so drunk usually I am positively repulsive to the opposite sex so I couldn't be unfaithful if I tried lol, and last night actually a girl came upto me and starting rubbing her ass on me and all - and I moved the hell away and she took the hint. :yep:

Anyway what's my point? Er, it's possible to like clubbing just for the dancing etc and not to cheat. The relationship can't work without trust, and if you don't trust her at least fake trust her and try to resolve the issue to yourself quietly. Don't make a big deal out of it to her - it'll only drive her away!
Reply 8
Let her do what she wants.You have to trust her if you dont you're more than likely going to lose her.

Going clubbing is not just about going on the pull...its usually different with girls.Where boys just do it to go find a girl.
I go clubbing for the type of music i am into and having a good time with my friends. I have been single for about 4 months but as someone has already said i dont aim to pull a boy i am more intrested in having fun with my friends.

When i have been in a relationship i do what i do as if i am single i still go out every Friday night or Saturday.

Does she know that you're abit insecure about this? The thing about the dance and she said 'maybe later' i dont get why she didnt say no,i have a boyfriend?. It doesnt sound like she reassures you much.
Reply 9
tis_me_lord
and last night actually a girl came upto me and starting rubbing her ass on me and all - and I moved the hell away and she took the hint. :yep:

Er, it's possible to like clubbing just for the dancing etc and not to cheat. The relationship can't work without trust


:rofl: first pat

And yea OP: the dude got a point, clubbing is a place to have fun. Sex and stuff happen, but if your committed it usually doesn't. So relax, I'm assuming that you love her enough to trust her, AND trust her enough to love her this much.
since when was it the general consensus that clubbing was just fro grinding up against girls?? :eek: lol maybe i'm luck my bf is more the air guitar type...

Just let her be, if you stress to much over this she will pick up on it and that would only serve to cause tension between you. If she loves you she wont even consider doing anything, chances are she'll be too busy hving a laugh and a good time with her friends. try not to worry about it :smile:
When I go clubbing its all bout having fun with my friends and dancing. A few of my friends have boyfriends and if a guy tries dancing with them, they stop them and say they have boyfriends so that the guys go away.

So if you trust her, you have nothing really to worry about.
For me, going clubbing is about dancing and having a good time with my friends.
I've been with my boyfriend over two years and would never dream of "grinding" or whatever with anyone. If a guy does come and chat me up, I may have a quick chat but then make excuses to leave. If a guy tries to hit on me on the dancefloor (grabbing me etc) then I run away haha.
Maybe clubbing is about going out and getting with others for some people, but not for everyone, so don't just assume that's what she's going to do. Yes I can see why her saying she can't say no would worry you, but with any luck, she'll learn to!
Man the **** up and try and trust your girl. If there's no trust, end the relationship. Common sense isn't it? All girls are different, some girls go to get pulled, some go to have a good time, either way it doesn't matter. It's about you trusting your girl or not, if you don't, leave.
You obviously have a trust issue-clubbing does not mean cheating and if you try to stop her you will just push her away. How would you feel if she stopped you from going out?
Recomend that she goes to see a band instead?
At least then she will have class.

Seeing bands > Clubbing
*cough* controlling! *cough*
Going clubbing and going out on the pull are two very different things
Reply 18
I don't think you're controlling at all, and nor will anyone else who has been to a club lol.

Why don't you just go with her?
Reply 19
Anonymous
hi, me and my girlfriend are both turning 18 this year and as i dont live that near her (about an hour away), im worried about her going clubbing.

basically, i just think of clubbing as going to dance and get with girls. so im assuming its the same with girls. i trust her and everything just cant help worrying that when she goes thats what shes gonna be looking for.

what do most of you girls look for when going out clubbing? if you've got a boyfirnd how close do you dance to other boys and how do u act when you get chatted up by boys and your boyfriend isnt there.

i went on holiday with my girlfriend this year and there was a nightclub there. when getting drinks for her i came back and there was a boy chatting her up, she told me he was asking her for a drink and a dance and that she said maybe later, because she cant just say no. thats why im worried because of her saying that she cant say no.


I like going clubbing to dance with my friends and have fun.